Don't cut your neighbor's grass without body armor.

[JohnKSa]

sit on my front porch naked, drinking beer, and firing at stray dogs with a Napoleon 8-pounder cannon, and nobody would care.

What about the dogs you MISS? Think of the trauma caused by being shot at by a naked man with a cannon. It would be bad enough if that was the last thing you ever saw, but imagine having to live on with that picture in your head...

 

[Sleeping Dog]

Never bring a lawnmower to a gun fight

There's so many things to not bring to a gun fight, how do you keep up with it all? It's too much to memorize, I'm gonna need a computer. Wait, never bring a computer to ... aw, I'll never get this.

Lawn mowers should be very effective against zombies, though, so keep it handy just in case.

Regards.

 

[Strings]

>I might hug you<

Ok... am I the only one who will now NEVER offer to mow CSlinger's lawn?