Dr. Seuss visits THR

[LWGN]

I posted this in response to a response in "The Highroad or The High Road", but I thought people who weren't following that particular thread might enjoy it as well.

Ah, the topics you see on THR.

Gee, that sounds almost Dr. Seussian!

You asked for it....



Oh, the topics you’ll see on the THR forum
where the simplest question will gather a quorum
of experts (and others) who’ll argue in detail
over how to clean barrels, how not to pay retail,
and how to shoot snowflakes or estimate resale,
converting the antis to gun-loving toters,
and lubing your guns with the oil from motors,
and how you should carry, or what you should wear,
one round or fifty, and how to take care,
offending the in-laws off-hand or on purpose,
and what kind of ammo is used by the Sherpas
while porting for climbers on Everest’s slopes,
or how to shoot grizzlies while dangling from ropes.
Oh, the topics you’ll see on THR
Like what kind of ammo to use on a car
Or a zombie or maybe a rampaging rhino…
(And most of the answers should be “Darned if I know…”)

 

[Mal H]

Funny! And very well done.

 

[Picard]

You must have been pretty bored. Nice poem though.

 

[rainbowbob]

Well done! The Doctor would approve.

 

[Eightball]

Oh, the topics you’ll see on THR
Like what kind of ammo to use on a car
Or a zombie or maybe a rampaging rhino…

Priceless.

 

[Zedicus]

Hey you forgot the Zombie Squirrel topic

 

[sm]

Very Nice!


<David Allan Coe>

LWGN posted a THR Dr. Suess poem, still it was not the perfect Dr. Suess poem.

There was nothing about green eggs & ham, momma, shooting grinches for stealing pick-em-trucks in Texas, getting drunk, prison, or trains.

</off>

*grin*

 

[Treo]

QUOTE: "There was nothing about green eggs & ham, momma, shooting grinches for stealing pick-em-trucks in Texas, getting drunk, prison, or trains."

Last Verse
I was drunk & eating green eggs & ham the day my moma got outa prison (she was in for shooting the grinch)
I went down to pick her up in the rain . but before I could get to the station in my pick up truck

she got runned over by dang ol train

And you don't have to call me darlin',darlin you never even call me by my name

 

[Cannonball888]

 

[sixgunner455]

I like that! Very funny.

 

[Sans Authoritas]

Excellent!

-Sans Authoritas

 

[LWGN]

expanded "perfect country song" version

LWGN posted a THR Dr. Suess poem, still it was not the perfect Dr. Suess poem.

There was nothing about green eggs & ham, momma, shooting grinches for stealing pick-em-trucks in Texas, getting drunk, prison, or trains

Okay, now you REALLY asked for it...


Oh, the topics you’ll see on the THR forum
where the simplest question will gather a quorum
of experts (and others) who’ll argue in detail
over how to clean barrels, how not to pay retail,
and how to shoot snowflakes or estimate resale,
converting the antis to gun-loving toters,
and lubing your guns with the oil from motors,
how you should carry, and what you should wear,
one round or fifty, and how to take care,
offending the in-laws off-hand or on purpose,
and what kind of ammo is used by the Sherpas
while porting for climbers on Everest’s slopes,
or how to shoot grizzlies while dangling from ropes,
the best kind of shotguns for deer or for ducks,
or even for Grinches who stole pick-up trucks,
and whether to lock up your gun in a trunk
when you and your buddies are falling-down drunk,
and what kinds of prison terms people will face
if they carry concealed in an off-limits place,
or the firearm errors in each movie scene,
and if copper jackets will turn the yolks green
if you use eggs for targets…you see what I mean?
You can learn about safeties, and how to clear jams,
and how .45’s penetrate fully-cooked hams.
There are threads showing pics of your heat-packin’ Momma,
but no politics: keep your McCain or Obama
opinions restricted to APS, please,
or the thread-locking mods will be by with their keys.
If we find we are wrong, someone always corrects us,
and you’ll always find out how they do things in Texas.
There’s discussion galore about how many grains
you should use with which reloads, and whether the trains
can restrict you from carry while traveling in-state.
Come by and log in – you’ll love it – it’s great!
Oh, the topics you’ll see on THR
Like what kind of ammo to use on a car
Or a zombie or maybe a rampaging rhino…
(And most of the answers should be “Darned if I know…”)

 

[Rmac58]

LOL

Well written!

 

[Superpsy]

wow. quit your day job!

 

[rainbowbob]

That is awesome! You have captured the heart of this forum in a single poem. It should be a sticky.

 

[sm]

Excellent!!

<David Allen Coe>

LWGN re-wrote his poem, and posted it for all to read.
He done posted the perfect Dr. Suess THR Poem.

</off>

 

[4v50 Gary]

Who'd think we be seussed-twice?

 

[sm]

The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe

Who'd think we be seussed-twice?

Gary,

THR has never had a Poe poem. *hint*


*please!*

 

[MASTEROFMALICE]

Oh, the topics you’ll see on THR
Like what kind of ammo to use on a car
Or a zombie or maybe a rampaging rhino…
(And most of the answers should be “Darned if I know…”)

Or a zombie or maybe a rampaging rhino
or 9mm vs .45 for that crack-headed wino.

 

[Mr White]

Excellent!!! Ted Geisel would be proud!

 

[230RN]

I liked not the poem, for true you can see,

I'm guilty on all counts, and I offer that plea,

So merciful members, as guilty as me,

Will forgive and forget, though we rarely agree.

--Terry

 

[Bones11b]

Excellent work, very creative! My school teaching wife loves it as well.

 

[Gingerbreadman]

That made my day. Good job.

 

[LWGN]

wow. quit your day job!

Superpsy,

Thanks for the compliment, but I think I'll wait on that. Of course, if you hear of anyone paying good money for stuff like this, let me know.

 

[Georgia Gunner]

That was great!