NOW is find out why my ears are burning...
Wait-a-second-wait-a-second-wait-a-second!
Great Googly Moogly! My sainted aunt's stars and garters! Yumpin' Yee-hosophaticals!
This thread's about ME!
And that silly band of non-conformist/desperately bored/Liberally brain-poisoned group of Kaliforny Re-Education Camp washouts known collectively far and wide as Drunken Style Productions!
And I didn't even start it! I even managed to blow right past it a couple of times. Oh, the embarassment.
Want a video? Contact the DSP web-goddess, Hally. I believe we still have some, or else get on the list for the next release being edited right now!
You know what this means, of course. They're gonna roast me. Promotion is one of my duties as a card-carrying DSP Mover-and-Shaker. Having been caught dropping the ball, slackin' off as it were, I shall forthwith be called upon to come up with some sort of recompense. Seeing as I'm the one who does most of the needling these days, I shall give myself a right vicious telling-off, and ending up with a demand that nothing short of Target Guy will fill the bill. (You see what living in this stupid state DOES to a gun collector? I get in arguments with myself, lose them, and stand quietly while I deliver stern lectures to myself. Oh yeah...)
Hokay, I need a crowd. 10 or 15 people would work fine, but the more the merrier. Your mission, should you choose to acept it, is to hurl water ballons, watermelon, hot dogs, or whatever other foodstuffs we can think up, at, uhh... me. Target Guy, that is. From a range of perhaps 20 feet. As fast as you can. With lots of ammunition. Buckets full.
Target Guy's job is to be anti-motivational. He insults you, says you throw like a girl, (Unless you are one. Forgive me, girls. Or hammer one home against sexism.) calls you a pantywaiste, that sorta stuff. Audience participation is encouraged in the form of pelting that annoying loudmouth with appropriate messy missiles and trying to knock off whichever really stupid hat I can come up with, until we exhaust the ammo dump.
Naturally, DSP cameras will be there, filming the whole shebang, interviewing partiscipants pre- and post-pelting, inciting riotous behavior, and generally trying to keep me from getting killed.
I'm thinking this particular iteration of the Target Guy thing could be a nice anti-'peace movement' rally. You get to support our troops by taking on the role of the U.S. Armed Forces, and delivering large volumes of ordinance to the various strategic resources (Meaning cool cardboard artifacts labeled "Chemical Weapons Plant", "Nuclear Missile Storage", or "Iraqi Military Base".)
Target Guy's role is pretty obvious. Whilst chanting the most profoundly effective Liberal Soundbites we can dream up, I shall do my best to be a Human Shield! That means I'll be dodging and ducking, trying not to get splattered in the best DemocRATic hypocritical fashion. (Whadaya mean I didn't protect the targets? They were SHOOTING at me! Human shields aren't SUPPOSED to ge shot at. That's how they work! Don't you get it? I'm on YOUR side, I'm just protecting valuable humanitarian resources, "For The Children". Hey, how come my passport's no good now? Whadaya MEAN I can't come back in? But I'm an AMERICAN! At least, I was when I left to go give aid and comfort to Iraq...)
Seeing as I'm making this up on the spot, things are a bit nebulous. I envision a week-end afternoon, within the next month, at a big park somewhere near Palo Alto or San Jose. Ideally, this could happen at one of those silly protest rallies in front of city hall I keep reading about. That'd be special! We couild give out RKBA info, circulate Davis recall petitions, promote the Highroad.org, march around carrying protest signs, and generally making a nuisance of ourselves.
Heck, with the right mix of circumstances, we might could get the media out to watch. Call it a "Combat Protest", or some other such appealing soundbite name. DSP counter-culture making the big splash. Or splat.
Projectile options are stil open, athough thematic elements would help. (Hot-dog missiles? Tomato grenades?) The only restriction is that I have to be able to take a shot right upside the safety glasses, and live through it. That equates to no hard stuff. Water balloons are a given, and will be represented in the hundreds. Other things we've done before are watermelon chunks, hot dogs, tuna salad, oatmeal, canned food of all sorts, (OUT of the can!) and random leftovers. Suggestions include coleslaw, eggs, Spam, pickles, and someone claimed to have drilled me with a balloon full of mustard.
Whatchya think? Schmooze with some fellow HighRiders, maybe picnic in one of Palo Alto's swanky parks, annoy the Lefties, counter-protest, parade around in front of OUR cameras, if not the major media. (We'd put up a nice video download with a cool montage. Erich is turning into an impressive editor.) Talk guns. Meet the folks.
And best of all, Lambasting the Liberal. Slapping the Human Shield. Paste the Peacenik. Whatever you might want to call it, but getting a little aggression out since you can't punch those silly protesters in the nose without jail time. I'll volunteer to let you let off a little steam, as it were. Politics the fun way.
We'd produce a video out of it. Dunno when, as this editing stuff's tricky. (And as yet, no-one in DSP knows about this but me!) But rest assured, by one means or another it'll get out, for free or VERY cheap. If you're IN it, It Will Cost You Nothing. Except maybe some dignity, and your valuable time. (And we'll even change names to protest the innocent, if you so desire. Nothing's Too Much If It Saves Just One Child.)
Oh, and don't bring a gun out. I don't want to get shot. (Kidding!) Keep 'em in the trunk fer afterwards when everyone troops over to Reed's to get caught in all the tall tales we post about how well we shoot when we're the only ones to see it.
Not to bad, for spur of the moment. Takers? Are there actually 7-10 THR posters in the S.F. Bay Area who might have the time, energy, and inclination to vicariously give the Liberals a hefty dose of What For on a sunny weekend day? It's for the CHILDREN!!
One might think the receiving end would be the hard part. Well, I'm Target Guy, and it just comes with the moniker. I WILL stand out there and get plastered. I've done it for 50-60 people at a time before. A raft of people makes it a grand time.
Kaliforny Lunacy indeed.
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