sm
member
Giggle-Britches
Giggle-Britches was almost as tall as the pie pantry , blue eyes and fine blonde hair.
About that hair- well you see “bed hair” is as good as it got, the more one messed with it, tried to do something with it, the worse it...
Oh, we are at that stage where it did not take much for Rachel to start into giggle-fits. You should have seen and heard that child giggle when I called her “Giggle- Britches” the first time.
Put it this way, she had to go change pants…I did not realize I was so funny.
Giggle-Britches was smart, she observed things and caught on fast. Name any commercial on Television and she could not only recite the thing, she could…if they ever need another child for “You gonna eat that pickle” – I have just the kid in mind.
Grandparents were a hoot as well. Grandma was using “How to train your dog” and Grandpa was using "Teases of History” as Marriage Guides.
Whatever works, seems so far so good…
When Rachel parents were around, it was a toss up as to who embarrassed them the most, Giggle- Britches or these Maternal Grandparents. No paternal Grandparents, so …ever been to a Western Sizzler and your sides hurt from laughing and you run into the salad bar – that BIG 10 foot long salad bar- because you have tears in your eyes and just did not see it?
I have.
Now Giggle –Britches had an audience, the baloney commercial was good, but Grandpa and she doing a rendition of Annie was too much. Dad is not allowed to leave the booth as he just got back from going to restroom, Mom is trying to get under the table and Grandma …”I was just hitchhiking when these crazy folks gave me a ride…”
--
“Uncle Phil, Grandma won’t let use her station wagon”.
“Why-is it because perhaps you are not tall enough to drive?”
“No…Yeah,… I’m not sure, I told Grandma I wanted you to drive it and pull me some targets so I could shoot them like that Bob guy did in his book”.
Now would I give a child a Brister book and read to her and show her pictures and explain stuff like this?
<bolt of lightening here>
I did gain permission to use Grandpa’s Zebco 33 and with an engineered target on shower curtain rings, pull a target for Giggle- Britches standing next to her using her pop-cork gun.
Grandparents were not helping; they were shooting the other pop-cork gun and rubber band gun
“Reel faster”, “Re-set the target” You have to run it back down the clothesline –
No, using reverse on a Zebco 33 does not work – do I have to admit I actually tried that?
Grandpa had Parkinson’s. Interesting thing about Parkinson’s, he may have trouble with a cup of coffee, when he worked with wood, and similar – he was steady as a rock.
“He can thread a needle better “so teased Grandma “Neither of use can see the eye, but Pa seems to shake, rattle and roll with more accuracy.
I guess that is in the book about training dogs.
So Grandpa and I had been to the Pawn Shop and found two guns. They had character, single shot .22 rifle and single shot shotgun.
We walk in, and we hear water splashing, Giggle-Britches just a giggling, and…here comes a bar of soap down the hardwood floor hallway. Grandma is soaking wet “Bath time”.
“Which one is getting the bath?”
Truth is, Giggle-Britches looked drier than Grandma, then again maybe running into the hall “oops” and running back to bath dries one off…
--
“Phew! They stink!”
Rachel was as serious as she could be. Grandpa was as steady as a rock. They were removing the moldy smelling stocks, and this was a joint project. Grandma was in on this too, I was, taking this all in; truly a Norman Rockwell moment.
Rachel recited Gun Safety rules, she learned the parts of the gun, and the child was intent and focused on refinishing the wood and cleaning the metal.
I was making Popcorn loads for the single shot shotgun. Rachel was learning fast!
See the way works is, when gun parts are drying, and stuff you help the Adopted Uncle , pull the handle, stack shells in the shell stacker , and …”is it really true birds blow up?”
*crickets*
Grandparents are looking over at me, I got this kid looking at me…and this family ain’t got a dog which would normally bail me out of this kind of stuff.
“That Jeff Fox guy said if bird’s eat rice and drink water – they blow up, it that really true?”
Okay, the kid is not talking about busting clay birds, so there goes my best answer…I know…
Why honey why don’t’ you ask your Grandparents, they are wise …
“Grand…”
“Your Uncle Phil over there has the best answer; this is an “Uncle Question”.
<exchange of glances in this Table Tennis Game of the Minds>
Being really good at ping pong, and volleyball I answer “Net serve”.
“Huh”.
My mind is wondering- Can I just stick my thumb in a Garand and get this over with?
“See , what I was wondering, if we made “rice loads” and we shot them, and them REBs, they would blow up when they got a drink of water”
REBs is Southern for Rice Eating Birds, except we spell the bird part b-a-s-t….you figure it out.
Now I am wondering if the bast….err…birds are eating rice from the field, they gotta drink water sometime- right? Then how come they don’t’ blow up like when hit with ’06 …I tend to use 30-06, other folks use 25-06, but hey a 30-30 works…granted I am not about to tell the kid this…not sure what to tell the kid.
“Honey, we Southern folks respect Rice, we don’t give a damn about Yankee made popcorn being shot from a shotgun. “
“Yeah” says the kid, I mean I get hand clapping and the whole bit.
Grandparents hang head and sigh...I thought I heard a slight snicker, pretty sure a sigh..
Hey, this Adopted Uncle bit is not that hard after all…
We did load up some itty bitty Chiclets Gum…never know when you might need to shoot Gummy Bears…
*GRIN*
See what happens when the Gubmint meddles? Health Departments all over “said” eating steak rare or medium rare was ‘bad’ – you “had to” eat burnt steak. I mean PETA don’t’ get jokes at all, they don’t’ eat steak, but you folks…c’mon…be rebellious order that Porterhouse Rare or with a wee bit of pink in the middle and see how much smarter you become…
If you like that Gum/ Gummy Bear bit - I take the credit, if not I blame the kid….Gummy Bears, this will be all over the Internet Gun forums in about 15 minutes…Oh I know one Tilecrawler that is going to have field day with this one…
Moderators of said forums will hate me, but some members are going to have a ball…
--
Now mom was raised around this, her husband was not fortunate to have this type of family; he had been accepted into and learned from this family.
Grandpa and Grandma had shot Bulls-Eye in the younger years. Grandma was the rifle shooter of the two, Grandpa the shot gunner. Daughter, Rachel’s mom, was good at it all, Daddy, he was focusing on shotguns and handguns for the time being.
Oh Rachel had guns, real guns; she just did not know it yet. Just, well, it was decided Rachel needed to experience this gun refinishing with Grandparent, her first real guns. Grandparents may not always be around, the memories would.
--
The Big Day.
Guns are ready and this is a family affair. Rachel had just taken a shower, and her hair was of the “get out of shower, towel, shake it baby and lets go” style now.
I really felt the kid’s ear muffs and shooting glasses gave it a …it was unique okay?
My job, being the adopted uncle and all, was to pull targets. The way this works is, a child tosses a token from a Pizza place, and which ever side is “heads” means you shoot the shotgun first.
You learn something new everyday they say.
I got smart, I got her dad to bring his Shimanos with a higher retrieve speed, to keep him from laughing, and I had stuck the second one in his hand and explained…he quit laughing.
Yeah we have two grown men with spinning reels, back near the child pulling targets.
When one has been the designated “target reeler- inner and start-overer” – you improvise, adapt and overcome.
Still not figured out how Mr. Brister ever talked the wife into driving her station wagon…
Now I / we had shared about shotgun patterns, explained popcorn would be different…
“See that hole there, a sheeple could pass thru it” - Rachel
Don’t ask me why all eyes turned to me, I’m just the Adopted Uncle remember?
Still think Mr.Brister would have been proud…
Besides it was her Daddy who dropped his Shimano, and her mom who was doing the knee slap and about to hyper-ventilate from laughing so hard.
“The green ones work better in my gun…Pull-It…’bang’…see I told ya”.
Now all eyes on Rachel, downright scary, the child was correct of course.
Now for the .22 rifle; Grandpa’s hands were shaking, “I want Grandpa to shoot my new gun first, then Grandma, then mom, then dad, then …’what is your name again?
I do not have kids; I have been honored to be adopted by some. That smirk and wink of hers was very special.
Now out back Grandpa has set up a shooting place, one that would grow as the kid did, and areas for bigger people to shoot too.
Grandpa , as soon as sat down and shouldered that rifle - he was as steady as a rock; he kept hitting them tin cans, even when they were swaying. Each took their turn, and then came mine.
All the guns cleaned, neat lessons shared again. Guns put away, hands washed and time to eat.
Somewhere between the house and the local diner Rachel turned into Giggle-Britches again.
“Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickle onion on a sesame seed bun please”
Waitress knew the child of course…” You want fries with that?”
Okay so we all got tickled.
Her meal came, and she asked the waitress and all her friends to gather around. They suspected one of Giggle-Britches antics…which they always fell for.
Rachel shared all about her new guns, how she helped, recited the 4 Rules of Gun Safety, “Oh and the green popcorn loads work better in my gun, but you have to pattern your own gun to know.”
“Green Popcorn loads? Is that like Green Eggs and Ham?”
Giggle- Britches just lost it, giggling up a storm.
It is the job of the Adopted Uncle to explain these loads…
Remind me to choke a certain cook, seems Giggle- Britches fell out of her chair…
“Cheeseburger Cheeseburger, no Coke- Pepsi…”
Yeah so Giggle- Britches likes the old re-run and DVDs of old shows…
Grandma is the one whom assisted the child back up…and just about the time, and Grandma’s have great timing Grandma says” Sock it to me baby"
Goldie Hawn would be so proud…
Copyright 2006 – Phil Carson
Giggle-Britches was almost as tall as the pie pantry , blue eyes and fine blonde hair.
About that hair- well you see “bed hair” is as good as it got, the more one messed with it, tried to do something with it, the worse it...
Oh, we are at that stage where it did not take much for Rachel to start into giggle-fits. You should have seen and heard that child giggle when I called her “Giggle- Britches” the first time.
Put it this way, she had to go change pants…I did not realize I was so funny.
Giggle-Britches was smart, she observed things and caught on fast. Name any commercial on Television and she could not only recite the thing, she could…if they ever need another child for “You gonna eat that pickle” – I have just the kid in mind.
Grandparents were a hoot as well. Grandma was using “How to train your dog” and Grandpa was using "Teases of History” as Marriage Guides.
Whatever works, seems so far so good…
When Rachel parents were around, it was a toss up as to who embarrassed them the most, Giggle- Britches or these Maternal Grandparents. No paternal Grandparents, so …ever been to a Western Sizzler and your sides hurt from laughing and you run into the salad bar – that BIG 10 foot long salad bar- because you have tears in your eyes and just did not see it?
I have.
Now Giggle –Britches had an audience, the baloney commercial was good, but Grandpa and she doing a rendition of Annie was too much. Dad is not allowed to leave the booth as he just got back from going to restroom, Mom is trying to get under the table and Grandma …”I was just hitchhiking when these crazy folks gave me a ride…”
--
“Uncle Phil, Grandma won’t let use her station wagon”.
“Why-is it because perhaps you are not tall enough to drive?”
“No…Yeah,… I’m not sure, I told Grandma I wanted you to drive it and pull me some targets so I could shoot them like that Bob guy did in his book”.
Now would I give a child a Brister book and read to her and show her pictures and explain stuff like this?
<bolt of lightening here>
I did gain permission to use Grandpa’s Zebco 33 and with an engineered target on shower curtain rings, pull a target for Giggle- Britches standing next to her using her pop-cork gun.
Grandparents were not helping; they were shooting the other pop-cork gun and rubber band gun
“Reel faster”, “Re-set the target” You have to run it back down the clothesline –
No, using reverse on a Zebco 33 does not work – do I have to admit I actually tried that?
Grandpa had Parkinson’s. Interesting thing about Parkinson’s, he may have trouble with a cup of coffee, when he worked with wood, and similar – he was steady as a rock.
“He can thread a needle better “so teased Grandma “Neither of use can see the eye, but Pa seems to shake, rattle and roll with more accuracy.
I guess that is in the book about training dogs.
So Grandpa and I had been to the Pawn Shop and found two guns. They had character, single shot .22 rifle and single shot shotgun.
We walk in, and we hear water splashing, Giggle-Britches just a giggling, and…here comes a bar of soap down the hardwood floor hallway. Grandma is soaking wet “Bath time”.
“Which one is getting the bath?”
Truth is, Giggle-Britches looked drier than Grandma, then again maybe running into the hall “oops” and running back to bath dries one off…
--
“Phew! They stink!”
Rachel was as serious as she could be. Grandpa was as steady as a rock. They were removing the moldy smelling stocks, and this was a joint project. Grandma was in on this too, I was, taking this all in; truly a Norman Rockwell moment.
Rachel recited Gun Safety rules, she learned the parts of the gun, and the child was intent and focused on refinishing the wood and cleaning the metal.
I was making Popcorn loads for the single shot shotgun. Rachel was learning fast!
See the way works is, when gun parts are drying, and stuff you help the Adopted Uncle , pull the handle, stack shells in the shell stacker , and …”is it really true birds blow up?”
*crickets*
Grandparents are looking over at me, I got this kid looking at me…and this family ain’t got a dog which would normally bail me out of this kind of stuff.
“That Jeff Fox guy said if bird’s eat rice and drink water – they blow up, it that really true?”
Okay, the kid is not talking about busting clay birds, so there goes my best answer…I know…
Why honey why don’t’ you ask your Grandparents, they are wise …
“Grand…”
“Your Uncle Phil over there has the best answer; this is an “Uncle Question”.
<exchange of glances in this Table Tennis Game of the Minds>
Being really good at ping pong, and volleyball I answer “Net serve”.
“Huh”.
My mind is wondering- Can I just stick my thumb in a Garand and get this over with?
“See , what I was wondering, if we made “rice loads” and we shot them, and them REBs, they would blow up when they got a drink of water”
REBs is Southern for Rice Eating Birds, except we spell the bird part b-a-s-t….you figure it out.
Now I am wondering if the bast….err…birds are eating rice from the field, they gotta drink water sometime- right? Then how come they don’t’ blow up like when hit with ’06 …I tend to use 30-06, other folks use 25-06, but hey a 30-30 works…granted I am not about to tell the kid this…not sure what to tell the kid.
“Honey, we Southern folks respect Rice, we don’t give a damn about Yankee made popcorn being shot from a shotgun. “
“Yeah” says the kid, I mean I get hand clapping and the whole bit.
Grandparents hang head and sigh...I thought I heard a slight snicker, pretty sure a sigh..
Hey, this Adopted Uncle bit is not that hard after all…
We did load up some itty bitty Chiclets Gum…never know when you might need to shoot Gummy Bears…
*GRIN*
See what happens when the Gubmint meddles? Health Departments all over “said” eating steak rare or medium rare was ‘bad’ – you “had to” eat burnt steak. I mean PETA don’t’ get jokes at all, they don’t’ eat steak, but you folks…c’mon…be rebellious order that Porterhouse Rare or with a wee bit of pink in the middle and see how much smarter you become…
If you like that Gum/ Gummy Bear bit - I take the credit, if not I blame the kid….Gummy Bears, this will be all over the Internet Gun forums in about 15 minutes…Oh I know one Tilecrawler that is going to have field day with this one…
Moderators of said forums will hate me, but some members are going to have a ball…
--
Now mom was raised around this, her husband was not fortunate to have this type of family; he had been accepted into and learned from this family.
Grandpa and Grandma had shot Bulls-Eye in the younger years. Grandma was the rifle shooter of the two, Grandpa the shot gunner. Daughter, Rachel’s mom, was good at it all, Daddy, he was focusing on shotguns and handguns for the time being.
Oh Rachel had guns, real guns; she just did not know it yet. Just, well, it was decided Rachel needed to experience this gun refinishing with Grandparent, her first real guns. Grandparents may not always be around, the memories would.
--
The Big Day.
Guns are ready and this is a family affair. Rachel had just taken a shower, and her hair was of the “get out of shower, towel, shake it baby and lets go” style now.
I really felt the kid’s ear muffs and shooting glasses gave it a …it was unique okay?
My job, being the adopted uncle and all, was to pull targets. The way this works is, a child tosses a token from a Pizza place, and which ever side is “heads” means you shoot the shotgun first.
You learn something new everyday they say.
I got smart, I got her dad to bring his Shimanos with a higher retrieve speed, to keep him from laughing, and I had stuck the second one in his hand and explained…he quit laughing.
Yeah we have two grown men with spinning reels, back near the child pulling targets.
When one has been the designated “target reeler- inner and start-overer” – you improvise, adapt and overcome.
Still not figured out how Mr. Brister ever talked the wife into driving her station wagon…
Now I / we had shared about shotgun patterns, explained popcorn would be different…
“See that hole there, a sheeple could pass thru it” - Rachel
Don’t ask me why all eyes turned to me, I’m just the Adopted Uncle remember?
Still think Mr.Brister would have been proud…
Besides it was her Daddy who dropped his Shimano, and her mom who was doing the knee slap and about to hyper-ventilate from laughing so hard.
“The green ones work better in my gun…Pull-It…’bang’…see I told ya”.
Now all eyes on Rachel, downright scary, the child was correct of course.
Now for the .22 rifle; Grandpa’s hands were shaking, “I want Grandpa to shoot my new gun first, then Grandma, then mom, then dad, then …’what is your name again?
I do not have kids; I have been honored to be adopted by some. That smirk and wink of hers was very special.
Now out back Grandpa has set up a shooting place, one that would grow as the kid did, and areas for bigger people to shoot too.
Grandpa , as soon as sat down and shouldered that rifle - he was as steady as a rock; he kept hitting them tin cans, even when they were swaying. Each took their turn, and then came mine.
All the guns cleaned, neat lessons shared again. Guns put away, hands washed and time to eat.
Somewhere between the house and the local diner Rachel turned into Giggle-Britches again.
“Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickle onion on a sesame seed bun please”
Waitress knew the child of course…” You want fries with that?”
Okay so we all got tickled.
Her meal came, and she asked the waitress and all her friends to gather around. They suspected one of Giggle-Britches antics…which they always fell for.
Rachel shared all about her new guns, how she helped, recited the 4 Rules of Gun Safety, “Oh and the green popcorn loads work better in my gun, but you have to pattern your own gun to know.”
“Green Popcorn loads? Is that like Green Eggs and Ham?”
Giggle- Britches just lost it, giggling up a storm.
It is the job of the Adopted Uncle to explain these loads…
Remind me to choke a certain cook, seems Giggle- Britches fell out of her chair…
“Cheeseburger Cheeseburger, no Coke- Pepsi…”
Yeah so Giggle- Britches likes the old re-run and DVDs of old shows…
Grandma is the one whom assisted the child back up…and just about the time, and Grandma’s have great timing Grandma says” Sock it to me baby"
Goldie Hawn would be so proud…
Copyright 2006 – Phil Carson
