Give me your take on this

[gym]

So yesterday I pull into a spot in the "Publix", parking lot. Publix is the number one grocery chain here in South FL.
I am in my car and see the following, "this is how I saved myself a few rimes". A balding white male in his 60's is trying to get into the vechicle 2 cars down from me, with a woman "appeared to be or could have been his wife". She had a panicked look on her face and was frozen to the wheel, a poodle was in a harness in the passenger seat.
He sees that I am watching and appears to be asking her to pop the lock so he can enter the vechicle, "i am watching his hands". She cracks the window, and I see she knows I am watching her. He sticks his hand throught he crack in the widnow, and gets in the back seat, "behind her". This is not a good sign, as those in law enforcement will attest to. Now I have my safety off and hand on my pistol still in my holster.
Some talking goes on, maybe 30 seconds, I don't want to pick up my phone and be distracted in case a gun or a knife is on it's way out. she is scared to death I can see her eyes in the mirror.He continues to talk. She opens the door and walks away, leaving him in the vechicle with the dog. I walk up to her, after she clears his field of view. i ask her if she is ok, and if she needs assistance. She thanks me 2 or 3 times, and declines.
one of the women hear what's going on and ask if she wants the police called. She declines. I get my grceries and leave, making sure he is not waiting behind a car, as I definatlly interfered with whatever he was trying to do. I leave off my belt, he is no longer in the car nor in the lot from what I see. I wait and she leaves. that's it. I figure it was her ex, or current husband or boyfriend, or a freak who had his plans altered by me being there. But she would have said something if it was a BG. What is your take, I didn't like the back seat thing at all, that set offf alarms all over my brain. Also she didn't arrive with him, nor leave with him.

 

[JohnBT]

Beats me, I wasn't there and it's all in the details.

 

[vegas steve]

forget about it,you offered assistance and she declined.whatever happens to her after that is on her.

 

[preachnhunt]

Sounds to me like you did well. She may be in a bad situation with an ex and, like many,for her own reasons be afraid to take action. You offered to help in the short run and she declined your offer, that's all you can do.
I do commend you on being willing to reach out to someone who may have been in distress.

 

[Owen Sparks]

Sounds like some sort of domestic dispute. The police HATE these and for good reason.

 

[MedWheeler]

Yeah, probably no love between those two, but they apparently did know each other. She said she was okay; in her mind, she was.
As an off-duty LEO many years ago, I was sitting in my truck outside a business into which my then-wife had gone to inquire about employment. A woman walking down the street past me was accosted by a man who had pulled up in a convertible, demanding that she get inside. She was refusing. As he began to exit the vehicle, I exited mine and announced myself, telling him she did not have to enter his car if she did not wish to do so. I saw an employee of the business coming outside and told her to call the police, but she just stood there with a blank look on her face (she appeared to be Haitian, common in these parts, and may not have spoken much English.)
The woman, apparently not wanting further "drama", then agreed to enter the vehicle and leave with the male subject, declining any further intervention.
Yes, cops hate domestic disputes.

 

[GBExpat]

I think that you handled that very well.

Both parties, most importantly the "aggressor", could see that you were actively monitoring the encounter which, oftentimes, can mitigate the drama.

Good Job!

 

[mcdonl]

My #1 priority would have been 911, second would have been considering the use of a firearm over what may have been normal behavior for these two. You can land yourself in prison defending your own butt in FL, I sure as heck would think long and hard before putting my family in jeopary defending a stranger in what could be any number of possible situations.

 

[gym]

I found that my $500.00 cell phone doesn't dial 911. Try your and see if it works. I tried on US-95, when a drunk was flying at over 100 and bouncing off eitther side of the shoulder. I had to call the port st lucie police who gave me the number,"when I stopped them", and asked if they could pacth me through, she said , oh yea, and after 10 minutes of following this guy , running people off the road, finally got cars dispatched. That is why I kept my eye on the ball,it would have been over by then if something was going to happen.
911 is not on all networks.

 

[MedWheeler]

Gym writes:

I had to call the port st lucie police who gave me the number,"when I stopped them", and asked if they could pacth me through.

Gym, funny you mention PSL-PD.. that's who I am referring to in the "911-for-all-calls" issue.

 

[skoro]

You offered assistance and she declined.

You don't know the situation outside of what you observed, which was suspicious, but not illegal.

Case closed.

 

[rcmodel]

Now I have my safety off and hand on my pistol still in my holster.

Thats the part I would question.

Safety always stays on until you have determined you are going to shoot, and the gun clears leather, the steering wheel, your family jewels, etc..

rc

 

[scaatylobo]

Retired LEO

I am always armed and know the law very well [ taught use of force ].

Unless I see a deadly issue IN PROGRESS,no action is what I am doing.

I am a great witness and can use my phone as a video tool.

AND the first thing I need to do is call the POLICE that are on duty to handle this.

Glad your ok.

 

[rhodco]

Agree. Don't get involved when you don't know what is going on. Too much risk of liability.

 

[justice06rr]

forget about it,you offered assistance and she declined.whatever happens to her after that is on her.

Yep, you did what you could. You were a good witness and offered your assistance and she declined. Good job anyway for being vigilant.

 

[MachIVshooter]

My take? More commas, fewer periods and sentence fragments. I could barely understand what you were saying.

 

[mcdonl]

My take? More commas, fewer periods and sentence fragments. I could barely understand what you were saying.

Not high road. Not on topic. Not nice.

 

[Ramone]

Maybe she was attempting to steal *his* car (and his dog!!) and he was giving her a chance to walk away without having her arrested.

Just sayin', yanno?

 

[ezypikns]

Best Comment?

AND the first thing I need to do is call the POLICE that are on duty to handle this.

Your weapon gives you the opportunity to defend yourself (and others, possibly).

It's not a badge.

 

[Yelovitz_503]

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong in this situation, and how it could have been 'more right' I don't know. If it was me I would have done the same thing, observed until I could make a determination as to what was going on, then taken the appropriate course of action.

From what you describe I would also have had red flags raised early on. Other than domestic violence of some sort I would put my wager on it being a drug deal. I see these kinds of things happening a lot in my neighborhood, cars pull up and somebody gets in, they either sit there or drive around the corner and then let the person who got in back out.

As hard as it may be to never know what happened, that's what you've got to resign yourself to. You did everything that you could, and even if you had called the police they likely wouldn't have responded to "there's a weird exchange happening here and it doesn't look right". Unless they were right across the street, or it was a really slow day, I doubt you would've gotten anything more than a "thank you, don't approach, we'll look into it"; and from the sounds of it they would've arrived after everyone left anyway.