Guns and a 2 year old?

[DWS1117]

My son, who is 2 1/2, has recently been going around and pointing his finger and yelling "pow pow". This morning we were out in the drive way before Mom took him to day care and he picked up a stick that was somewhat gun shaped and pointed and yelled "pow pow". Last week we were in a toy store and when we passed this section with several toy guns he grabbad one and did the pow pow routine. (My mom is very anti and was not amused. I'm working on her.)

I am not sure how to handle this. When he has pointed his finger at his mother and made those noises I tell him that we don't do that towards Mom. I know he doesn't understand so I keep repeating it each time he does. I don't get angry with him. I always have him sit on my lap and calmly explain why we don't do that.

At this point he hasn't been exposed much to my guns. I usually clean or fondle them after he has gone to bed or when he is not home. He has seem me bringing them in from the car after I have been to the range. the only thing that has been done around him that he could possibly make a connection to the gun and the sonds they make is If he is playing on the floor behind me while I am playing Call of Duty on the computer.

Do any of you moms and dads have any advice?

We have recently gotten a couple of water guns and I have shown him about keeping his finger off of the trigger. He does most of the time but I figure he is just mimicking Dad.

 

[Majic]

Don't forget about tv. That's where most kids get their first exposure. I wouldn't worry or pay it any mind now as he's just playing. When he gets older is when you show him when and where it's appropiate to do such things.
Kids will have to be kids in order to grow into well rounded adults.

 

[cracked butt]

I am not sure how to handle this. When he has pointed his finger at his mother and made those noises I tell him that we don't do that towards Mom. I know he doesn't understand so I keep repeating it each time he does.

He probably understands very well that he shouldn't do something if you tell him, he's just pushing his limits.


My son is almost 2 and pushes his limits (and luck) all of the time. He already understands what he can get away with when daddy is around and what mommy will let slide. A very firm "NO" usually stops bad behavior in our household, but every kid is different.

 

[pax]

DWS1117 ~

Your son is not too young for the Eddy Eagle rules, either learned directly from you, or from the Eddy Eagle video.

The rules are, if you see a gun

• Stop
• Don't Touch
• Leave the room
• Tell a grownup.

At first it will just be words to him. But after you've chanted the rules together with him a few times, you'll explain the rules and use every chance you have to talk about the rules. Be sure to explain what to do if he isn't sure it's a gun (if it looks like a toy, but he's not sure... does he treat it like a gun, or a toy?) Also explain that the rules are for in other people's houses, too -- like if a friend wants to show you his daddy's gun, leave the room and make sure his mommy or daddy knows.

If your son has seen you handling your guns (even just to carry them in from the car) and if he knows that guns are "supposed" to be pointed at people and make bangy noises, then it won't be long before he starts actively looking for daddy's guns so he can play with them. Get the rules hammered into him as quick as you can, before that happens. And start thinking about how to make guns less mysterious and attractive to that active little monkey curiousity. (Hint: hiding 'em away and telling him he's too little to look at them doesn't do a whole lot towards defusing curiousity...)

The rule I gave my kids was that WE never point guns at people, no matter what. Other kids might do it, but WE don't do that. WE like to shoot at targets, but never ever ever at people. Especially not at mommy because it makes her very sad. Then I gave them a target on the wall for them to point at (and eventually to shoot nerf guns at).

At some point (maybe around age 3?) they asked me about "bad guys" and whether it is okay to point at "bad guys." I told them that only grownups could decide if someone else was really a bad guy, so if they wanted to play that someone was a bad guy it had better be a not-real, invisible bad guy and not a real person. So for a long time they chased not-real, invisible bad guys through the house.

Oh, and a highly recommended book: Ayoob's Gun-Proof Your Children.

Hope that helps.

pax
mom to five gun-loving little boys

 

[effengee]

I have 6 kids, 4 boys 2 girls, and a somewhat unique opinion...

It's never too early to teach proper firearms safety...
From the oldest to the youngest, they all hear the words:
"The best safety is the person holding the weapon safely"
"Be carefull where you point that" "It's always loaded, treat it that way"
"If you want to see or touch my guns, all you got to do is ask."
"Don't point anything gunlike at anybody." "Never touch the trigger unless you are completely ready to shoot something."
We allow brilliantly colored waterguns that don't even remotely resemble any "real" gun to shoot at each other with when we're out in the backyard.
But they also have gone with me to the range, and when they're 3 they get to use the 6mm airsoft... At 4, The .177 CO2, and then, I've held various pistols/rifles while they squeezed off a single round...
They know what a real gun will do, and why I am so ADAMANT about safety with anything that loads and fires ANY given type of ammo.
Be it a suction-cup dart or 7.62X39mm...
I have a few of the airsoft replicas which they all use under supervision.
The baby, she'll be 2 this Sept., has already used one of these!
Firearms are no more nor less dangerous than any other piece of sporting equipment when used safely and properly...
Maybe I'm a nut, but I feel that first-hand education and knowledge of the power contained in a firearm and it's related paraphernalia is much better as a deterrent than to simply try to deny them any/all access.
As my 5 year old so eloquently put it when asked why he wouldn't touch a real gun if he found one or a friend showed him one:
"No way, they put big holes in things. I'd run home and tell you."
As far as any "anti-gunner" goes, invite them to the range.
Get yourself a BB gun or an airsoft, if you don't already have one.
For one thing, they're irreplaceable for "anywhere/anytime" practice.
A cardboard box filled with newspaper with a paper target taped accross the opening is all you need. I even have a dartboard in my livingroom and fire .177 calibre darts from a spring-action BB pistol.
With no noise/recoil, they also make for a great first shooting experience.
TRUST ME, you take a "dyed-in-the-wool-anti-gunner" and give them the thrill of popping a soda can around the backyard, well, I can't guarantee that they'll convert, but they'll see our hobby in a different light.
Then you can show then what a "real" gun will do to the same soda can.
I've gotten more than one to fire of a few rounds from my "politically-incorrect-why-do-you-need-that?-ak47" Now they know why...
Knowledge is power, and knowing is half the battle.
Jimbo

 

[DWS1117]

Pax:
Thank you for that very informative post. Obviously as a dad I am interested in how other dads have handled this, but it is great to get the perspective of a Mom. With my son's own mom (my wife) it has been a very long road converting her mindset and conquering her fear of guns. So having mom's words of experience will be helpful for her as well.

Thanks for all the replies. I am still new to this whole parent thing. I just know that I want to be the best dad that I can, as do most parents.

I do know that I want him to grow up respecting and enjoying guns and not fearing them. As I mentioned, we are already try to explain things to him in a calm manner each time his actions merit. I have not intentionally kept my guns away from him, nor will I ever hide them from him. I don't want him to grow up thinking that guns are something bad and hence they should be hidden. I also feel that if the mystery is removed then he is less likely to try to find what daddy is hiding.

What about water guns? I mean your supposed to squirt others. It isn't much fun to just shoot the grass or a wall.

A few years ago I went to the range with a friend and his 5 year old son. My friend braced himself against his son's back while he fired a full magazine from an AK. The kid waled off the firing line, sat down, let out a satisfied sigh and said. "I needed that." That's what I hope to hear come from my son one day. Now I need an AK.

 

[pax]

DWS1117 ~

Water guns are a special case.

When the kids were really little, we used plant misters for water play. They hold plenty of water, squirt about ~15 feet when set to 'stream', and don't break as often as the old-fashioned squirt guns did.

SuperSoakers can't possibly be mistaken for a real gun, at least not to my eye. We always called them SuperSoakers, not squirt guns, and didn't play with 'em until the kids were old enough that they thought it was downright stupid that anyone would think that looked like a gun.

YMMV, of course.

Dunno what to suggest about easing your wife's fears, only -- get the book I recommended above.

pax

For unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison. -- Theodore Roosevelt

 

[MeekandMild]

When my kids were very small Mrs. Meek took them with her and they stood behind the shooting line at the range close enough to get a true idea of how loud were the guns but not close enough to hurt their ears. This effectively sensitized them to the danger of guns so that they did not want to play with them until they were old enough to really understand safety training. And from day one they knew the difference between those loud, nasty real guns and the quiet, fun-to-play-with water pistols.

I think it is pushing it to believe that a two year old can understand the meaning behind the words of Eddie Eagle or any other safety message without actually seeing/hearing guns in action. IMHO the NRA does not fully understand the need for live fire exercises with children's gun safety training.

We also had the kids taught to swim while they were still in diapers. Same principle, to teach the safety lesson live instead of in theory.

 

[4v50 Gary]

What Pax says.

 

[Chipperman]

DWS1117,
I am in the same position. I have twin boys, who just turned 3. They have been picking up objects and pointing at things, pretending to shoot. My wife is also somewhat anti, and was at first very upset about it.

She initially blamed it on all the History channel shows I watch. I pointed out how even the Disney shows have guns, so you can't escape it.

We have done a similar approach in saying that you cannot shoot at people or animals, and that has helped.

I don't let them see my guns, but somehow they know that my gun closet contains them. It's amazing how smart little kids are. I will let them see and touch the guns at some point, but I have to wait until they are a little older and my wife is ready for it.

 

[rbrowning]

I have a 2 year old grandson that deosn't have a father figure except me. We spend a lot of time together and one of our favorite things to do is watch hunting shows or videos. He is learning, with repeated instruction, what guns are capable of. He watches them shoot the deer or birds and watches the animals die.

Last weekend I took him to a trout pond and let him catch dinner. He saw the fish in the water, watched them bite the bait, laughed like crazy when we landed it, but got real sober when he watched it getting fileted. He watched it get changed from a living creature into dinner and I think he is beginning to understand some of the concept of death.

Last night he was real excited when a deer walked out on a video and he kept whispering "shoot, shoot". But when the deer dropped and the hunter walked up to it he was pretty quite. He turned to me and said "dead?". Then he smilled big and asked "eat?". I think he is beginning to see how some of these things tie together.

You are never going to stop the imagination of a child. Bang Bang, Pow Pow and pretty universal. But you can show him what shooting can do. Let him see a dead animal and learn what lifless means. Then let him watch videos ahowing an animal getting shot so that he understands what a shot can do. Then always remind him that we don't shoot people.

Best of luck in your training.

 

[DWS1117]

It's amazing how smart little kids are.

You got that right! It seems that everyday he does something that just amazes us. His daycare is very small. There are only 9 kids total and they work really close with each of them. During the school year there even fewer because some of them are away at school most of the day. They also do preschool type lessons and the teacher is always telling us that he is always trying to keep up with the older kids and even does a good portion of the time.

Pax:
I have placed an order for two of those books. Two so that my wife and I can read it at the same time. When we have finished we will pass on a copy to our friends and family whom have young children. Even though most of them don't own a gun of could care less either way about them, those kids will definitely be in an envirionment with a gun at some point.

I think it is pushing it to believe that a two year old can understand the meaning behind the words of Eddie Eagle or any other safety message

While I agree that he may still be too young to understand, it isn't too early to start drilling it into thier head. The cartoon character is just a tool that will hold thier attention much easier than trying to sit them down and lecture them. At some point after watching it over and over, as kids like to do, they will start understanding asking questions.

YMMV.

Thanks you all for your advice. I have found something useful in each reply. More advice is welcome.

 

[Russ]

Don't worry too much. When you feel your children are old enough, teach them safe gun handling. My Dad taught me and I taught my sons. Your son sounds completely normal to me. When I was a kid my brothers and I all had SAA type cap guns with holsters and toy rifles. We played cowboys and Indians and War frequently. None of us become a homicidal maniacs.

I like guns and the shooting sports in adulthood. My brothers could care less about them. They are by no means anti gun. They just have other interests that they would rather pursue.

My Mother used to say that kids grow up before you know it. Way too fast. I used to roll my eyes. Well, here I am with 2 sons. One is 20 and the other fast approaching 18. They do indeed grow up too fast. Life is real short even if you live to be 90.

My sons know how to shoot but don't really have the passion for it that I do. Maybe I will get a grandchild who is a gun nut like me! Anyway, a few years ago when my oldest was 17 and my youngest 15, I fell asleep whilst fondling my pistols. Anyway, they came home while I was fast asleep in front of the idiot box. They checked my guns to make sure they were not loaded (just as I had taught them) and put them back in their cases. They didn't even wake me up. I was very pleased that they knew what to do. Teach them right and they will not forget.