Help getting past handgun anxiety

[MistWolf]

I will repeat what others have said- Double ears, 22 rimfire, shoot outdoors if possible, get a good coach.

But none of this will do you any good until you adjust your mindset. You have to want to overcome your fear. My wife hates loud noises and at the first thunderclap, I find her cowering in my lap. She doesn't like fireworks or gunshots. But she fell in love with my son's lever action 22 and shoots it whenever she gets a chance. She decided the P-22 I got from my father was hers. Recently, she surprised my when she said she wanted something bigger than a 22 for self defense. I took her to the range and let her rent a variety of 9mms at the local indoor range. Sure, she jumped when the shooters in the other lane cut loose but she got focused on the job at hand and started shooting. At that point, the noise topped bothering her. She simply made up her mind that she was going to do this and she actually enjoyed the experience!

I won't pretend it will be easy for you but it is your choice. Man up, push through it, git'r done and soon enough, the noise won't bother you anymore. But if you think a 9mm pistol is bad, try a self loading 308 carbine at an indoor range- You'll go back to loving that 9mm!

 

[RussB]

Shooting is not for everybody...consider less-lethal self defense options

 

[Tcruse]

You know, I've never shot at an indoor range....I imagine the noise would be quite a bit more noticeable in an enclosed area, even with protection. And on that note - Muffs are better than plugs, but both together is the way to go for maximum protection.

+1 to what vamo said about suppressors. Between cost and red tape, the thought of owning one is quite daunting to me. And it's a darn shame - every person ought to be able to mount one on their home-defense gun at the very least.

I'll confess I have a bit of a flinch. I notice it moreso with rifles than handguns. But I can still turn in a decent performance with them.

It could be really helpful if you had a trusted friend or relative to help you along your path. Of course finding one could be tricky, if you don't know one already - going around telling everyone you're buying a gun may not be the wisest thing to do, you know. :/

Agreed with the others in starting with a .22 - or maybe even a BB or pellet repeater like http://www.amazon.com/Smith-Wesson-Airgun-Black-Medium/dp/B002U93HMW or http://www.pyramydair.com/s/m/Smith_Wesson_M_P_R8_CO2_BB_Revolver/2459

Now I'm somewhat old school. I really like revolvers - particularly in the role of "first handgun." Just NOT a short-barreled "snubbie," particularly a lightweight one! Something along the lines of a 4" .38 like http://www.ruger.com/products/gp100/ maybe?

It depends on the range. Indoor ranges vary greatly based on the construction of the range. And for me, shooting next to a shot gun is much more of a distraction than next to a handgun or AR. Full size service weapons are easier to shoot as compared to smaller guns of the same caliber. .22LR is always a good starting point to get used to handling the gun. Also, ear protection varies greatly. I think the electronic versions are better since you can talk to the people next you and still not be distracted by the actual gun shot noise. Do not shoot +P ammo to start with.

 

[KarenTOC]

I am very easly startled. I can know a noise coming and still I'll jump. Constant startling is very wearing on the nerves. It can leave you physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and totally demoralized.

At an indoor range I am much better able to handle the noise when the range is full than when there are only one or two other lanes occupied. Occasional irregularly spaced bangs will cause me to jump, every single time. I can't shoot like that, so I just put my gun down and hope a few more shooters show up. When the range is about half-full and the noise is constant I don't get the startle response. Then I can finally shoot.

All the advice you've been given is great. I can only say: don't give up.

 

[WestKentucky]

It's been covered in other responses but simply spend time around handguns. I would look at the m9 beretta or Taurus 92, but not strictly due to weight. I say this because these guns are SUPER simple to strip. Even if you are fine with shotguns, handguns are a new animal. Strip that m9 down to bits and clean it up just to prove that it truly is a few springs and metal bits, nothing more. Reassemble slowly while you figure out how it works so now it's a simple machine rather than a painful noisemaker. Now it's time to go to the range. Shoot one round at a time until your comfortable with it. Then strings of 2, 3, 10. It will quickly become much less scary and much more enjoyable. As always eyes and ears (plugs AND muffs.

Other guns are just as good to learn with. Glock is very simple as are XD and m&p guns. The problem with these is that they are lighter so you feel more kick. Think of that part this way, if your holding a board bring hit by a hammer, if that board is 6" long it's very light and can't absorb much of that shock. If that board is 3 ft long it's noticeably heavier but it may still sting a bit because that board is soaking up part of the shock. Last take a 10' board and see what happens. The board flexes and absorbs a lot of that shock and it no longer stings the hand. Just like with guns heavier, bigger, guns absorb the shock (recoil)

Last point I will make is this, use guns with longer barrels to learn on. They will be heavier and bigger but they also let more powder burn inside the barrel. A big flash and loud boom are often the product of unburnt powder coming out the end of the barrel. Burn that powder in the barrel and lose some flash and noise.

 

[TennJed]

Shooting is not for everybody...consider less-lethal self defense options

maybe it is not for everyone, but i encourage the OP to try the other suggestions here first before he gives up on them.

no reason to suggest someone quit so quickly

 

[12131]

Shooting is not for everybody...consider less-lethal self defense options

It might not be for everybody, but, the OP has shot guns previously (shotguns, rifles, and .22s). So, it's not like he's a complete novice. Why suggest him to give up so readily? If he has followed all the advice, and still has the fear/anxiety, then maybe I'd agree with you, but not before.

 

[vamo]

Shooting is not for everybody...consider less-lethal self defense options

Was every shooter you know completely calm and unintimidated the first time they shot a center fire handgun? First time jitters are completely normal and does not mean the person should just give up.

 

[AlexanderA]

I'll be a contrarian here.

Go to a range and watch someone firing something like a .44 Magnum. A .38 Special or 9 mm will seem tame by comparison.

To me, a good blast and recoil is reassuring rather than "scary."

 

[Legionnaire]

You have received a lot of good advice here. My first thoughts were:
Outdoor range
Double hearing protection (muffs over plugs)
Begin with a .22LR

I'll add, go with an experienced shooter who has experience introducing others to shooting. That individual's competence and confidence will help allay your fears. I understand how intimidating it is to "do everything right" on your own without a coach at your side.

In addition to suggesting a .22, I'd also suggest starting with a revolver rather than a semi-automatic. Semi-autos might add to the sense of "violence" in that the slide can feel like it is "thrashing" in your hand, whereas when you shoot a revolver single-action, nothing moves but the hammer and firing pin when you pull the trigger. It feels more stable in your hand. Start with a .22LR, then move to .38 special target loads in a full-sized .357 magnum revolver. I have found that new shooters can make that transition with little difficulty.

 

[Midwest]

You might consider Airsoft as you can set up an indoor range in the basement. No noise but good training, even the cops in California are training with Airsoft due to the ongoing ammunition shortage.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/apr/21/california-police-train-airsoft-guns-amid-shortage

“It’s become harder and harder to get the ammunition we need to train our officers on a timely basis,” Albany Sgt. Dave Bettencourt told CBS San Francisco. “We’re using airsoft as an affordable option to try to maintain the officers’ skills.”

.

 

[cc-hangfire]

Much good advice above already. To expand one recommendation somewhat, the airsoft pistols that are full metal and have operating slides (either co2 or gas operated blowback) will give you a feel of a semi-auto pistol at a much reduced level of recoil & noise. I have two that I use in the garage or back yard when I can't get to the range for a while. Both mimic Berettas, one is the 92FS and the other is the compact PX4. Actual weights are within a few ounces of the actual firearms.

I have some friends who have mentioned getting a firearm for protection & recreation, & I will have our first training session in the back yard with these. The operating slide will allow full handgun operations training (have to rack the slide to load, operate the safety, have correct grip to avoid the slide hitting your supporting hand thumb, get a correct sight picture, etc), and one can learn safe handgun handling with very low danger of injury. They obviously don't exactly mimic the real pistols- trigger pull differs, and the recoil is much reduced.

The downside is that these models will cost $100 (used) to $300. Better to find a friend who has some unless you want one for your training use.

 

[larryh1108]

Over 24 hours and the OP hasn't returned and still has 1 post.

Could this be a drive-by troll?

 

[Theohazard]

Over 24 hours and the OP hasn't returned and still has 1 post.

Could this be a drive-by troll?

Maybe he didn't realize his post was moved by a mod to its own thread?

 

[george burns]

Some folks don't enjoy shooting, I hate skiing. That's about as simple as it gets. You claim to be highly intelligent, well this is very simple. Shooting like all activities, is not for everyone. If I felt that uncomfortable when doing it, I would probably not do it. The concept of home protection can be accomplished without a pistol, or you could have one that you only would use for emergency's, "like if someone broke in", or you could build a "Panic room", and wait for the authorities to arrive.

 

[The_Next_Generation]

Maybe he didn't realize his post was moved by a mod to its own thread?

Sending PM to OP with link to this thread as we speak, hopefully he'll come back!

We chatted via PM yesterday and he says he's going to try and find an instructor in the South FL region. Maybe our FL members want to reach out?

 

[dbmjr1]

I think when you combine a small, light, polymer 9mm, whether in Largo or Kurtz, even I find the percussion bothersome. I can shoot them, but not for very many rounds, comfortably.

This coming from the guy who regularly goes through three to five hundred rounds of .38 spl each range trip.

I think the OP would be better served with almost any other handgun. Those things must scare the Dickens out of a novice.

A good friend purchased one. Shot it once. Sold it.

 

[Ultraviolet]

Hey all - thanks very much for the posts. I did not realize my post had moved until TNG messaged me... after all I responded to a six-year old thread...

Anyway, I appreciate the advice. I've decided that I will find a local firearms instructor in South Florida, and will give it a good shot (pun intended) based on your suggestions. I'll see if there is an outdoor range, I've not seen any here so far but if any members in the Ft. Lauderdale area know of any, feel free to msg me.

I actually have earplugs and muffs that I used for shotgun shooting - don't know why I never thought of using both at the same time for handguns. The gun I tried at the range was a Ruger SR9c.

Again, I appreciate your support and tips - I'm motivated to get this resolved, so watch this space ;-)

 

[armedaccountant]

SR9c is a great carry gun in my opinion. I carry a SR40c, so I might be biased. However it is not a good first centerfire handgun. It is light which means more recoil. It is short so more muzzle blast and noise. It has a short grip so it hits in the palm of your hand which can be unpleasant.

Try the fullsize SR9(no c) or any other quality full size 9mm. Totally different experience. Personally I would recommend a 4" revolver in .38special or .357mag. Both can fire .38special which is similar to 9mm. Manually pull back the hammer to fire it single action. The trigger pull is minimal and gives you less time to build up fear as pull the trigger.

Don't get frustrated & keep trying. This is probably the best forum for people new to any type of shooting. Ask anything, we want to help.

 

[bannockburn]

I have always felt that a good "first gun" to start out with is a .22 rifle. For a handgun I would recommend a .22 revolver. With some beginners the slide action of a semi-auto pistol can seem very startling and cause them to be apprehensive about shooting it. Something like a Ruger Single Six or a S&W Model 34 would make for a much more comfortable way to begin shooting and allow them to transition into a centerfire handgun, like a full size revolver using .38 Special wadcutters.

 

[Sav .250]

Weapons are not for everyone. Loads of folks go thru life with out one with out any problems.

Main thing ,don`t force the issue. If you do end up with one, are you certain you can use
it to defend yourself. Can your wife kill somebody if needed??

Once you pull the weapon , your in it to win it. Js/n.

 

[The_Armed_Therapist]

The "fight or flight (or freeze)" response in the brain is stored in the Amygdala, which is in the center of the brain. The center of the brain is where SENSORY items are stored--memories, basic emotions, etc. The prefrontal cortex, the outside layer of the brain, is where logic, language, reasoning, etc., occur. You will not be able to "rationalize" the fight or flight response that you are experiencing, because there is a physical disconnect between where you are feeling the fight or flight response and where you are able to rationalize.

The answer is exposure. One way or another, force yourself to "feel" the fear, worry, and anxiety that you felt at the shooting range. Only upon re-experiencing it will you be able to learn to rationalize it. Trying to rationalize without exposure will not decrease the fear that you'll experience the next time you are around guns.

Most of us have gone through this one way or another. For me, it was when I started to carry a firearm. Irrational fears of the gun discharging while holstered or in my waistband predominated my thoughts. After a while, it didn't bother me. Now I know it's impossible. I was also afraid of "getting caught," even though it was lawful. That also subsided.

Know that it's normal. Your body was telling you that you were in a new, uncertain situation, and that you were in danger. With exposure, the body will stop warning you.

 

[stonecutter2]

Hey all - thanks very much for the posts. I did not realize my post had moved until TNG messaged me... after all I responded to a six-year old thread...

Anyway, I appreciate the advice. I've decided that I will find a local firearms instructor in South Florida, and will give it a good shot (pun intended) based on your suggestions. I'll see if there is an outdoor range, I've not seen any here so far but if any members in the Ft. Lauderdale area know of any, feel free to msg me.

I actually have earplugs and muffs that I used for shotgun shooting - don't know why I never thought of using both at the same time for handguns. The gun I tried at the range was a Ruger SR9c.

Again, I appreciate your support and tips - I'm motivated to get this resolved, so watch this space ;-)

Awesome, keep at it! It's going to take a little time to desensitize yourself to the noise, especially if you're prone to being troubled by loud noises like that. The sound is one thing, the concussion of the blast is another. You "feel" that it's loud.

It's probably the proximity to the muzzle that's getting to you.

The first time I fired a .357 magnum out of my snubnose S&W Model 19, I hit the target exactly CENTER in the chest. I've never hit a target like that again! Precisely in the middle X. I just didn't have any flinch or hesitance when I pulled the trigger!

I then had a HORRIBLE flinch because the blast from the 357 terrified me! I couldn't get accurate with it again. I stepped down to 38's to get used to the muzzle being so short, and the blast being so big.

Ultimately, I parted ways with that Model 19 because it just didn't get much range time.

Since then, I've done more psitol shooting with 9mm's and 45's.

Last year, a friend bought a short barreled Ruger revolver in 357, and asked if I wanted to shoot it. I said - sure.

I had the same kind of anxiety, expecting that barrel blast. I shot it great!! The blast wasn't as big of a deal to me, but people watching were like WHOA, he's a dead eye with that and there's a huge fireball coming out!

Keep at it, and enjoy the process and the challenge. Who knows, you may learn to crave that adrenaline rush of a big blast from the barrel

 

[ljnowell]

Hey all - thanks very much for the posts. I did not realize my post had moved until TNG messaged me... after all I responded to a six-year old thread...

Anyway, I appreciate the advice. I've decided that I will find a local firearms instructor in South Florida, and will give it a good shot (pun intended) based on your suggestions. I'll see if there is an outdoor range, I've not seen any here so far but if any members in the Ft. Lauderdale area know of any, feel free to msg me.

I actually have earplugs and muffs that I used for shotgun shooting - don't know why I never thought of using both at the same time for handguns. The gun I tried at the range was a Ruger SR9c.

Again, I appreciate your support and tips - I'm motivated to get this resolved, so watch this space ;-)

Finding an instructor is a GREAT idea. Many guys feel that they couldn't benefit from taking some training classes, I used to be one of them. Nowadays I like to take every class I can afford.

 

[Frank Ettin]

Finding an instructor is a GREAT idea. Many guys feel that they couldn't benefit from taking some training classes, I used to be one of them. Nowadays I like to take every class I can afford.

I'm with a group of instructors putting on a monthly NRA Basic Handgun class. Probably 80% to 90% of our students had never touched a real gun before. Our class enrollment run 20% to 40% female. We have students of all ages from early 20s to us more seasoned types. We've had entire families attend together. Most of our student show varying levels of anxiety at handling real guns.

We try to address this by bringing them through the course material in a step-by-step, measured and supportive way.

In addition to the core lectures, we do a lot of "hands-on" work with the students. The students handle a variety of revolvers and semi-autos under direct supervision, one-on-one, of an instructor. They use dummy rounds to load and unload the guns, dry fire and generally learn how things work and feel, and they get continual safety reinforcement.

These initial hands-on exercises help students get familiar with handling gun and lay a foundation for safe gun handling habits. The students begin to realize that although guns can be dangerous they can learn how to handle them safely and that safety is in their hands.

Then in preparation for live fire, and after the "marksmanship" lecture, we work one-on-one with students on grip and stance using "blue" inert training guns.

Before going to live fire with .22s, the students shoot airsoft (the quality type) in the classroom so they can get a feel for sight alignment and trigger control (and reset) without the noise and intimidation factor (for beginners) of firing real ammunition.

After the students fire their 25 rounds of .22 (working one-on-one with an instructor), we put out a variety of guns from 9mm to .44 Magnum so the students can get the experience of firing the larger calibers. Shooting the centerfire guns is at each student's option. Most fire them all, but some choose not to.

When someone has gone through our program, it's not uncommon for her/him to be shooting 1.5 to 2.0 inch groups at seven yards with the heavy calibers. A few months ago, a petite young woman who had never fired any type of gun before out shot everyone, including her husband, with the .44 Magnum -- putting three rounds into about an inch at 7 yards.

Going through our process most students shed a good deal of their initial anxiety. Some remain anxious to a degree but still manage to master their anxiety and perform well. In the last several years only one or two (out of perhaps a couple of hundred) could not complete the class.