I will repeat what others have said- Double ears, 22 rimfire, shoot outdoors if possible, get a good coach.
But none of this will do you any good until you adjust your mindset. You have to want to overcome your fear. My wife hates loud noises and at the first thunderclap, I find her cowering in my lap. She doesn't like fireworks or gunshots. But she fell in love with my son's lever action 22 and shoots it whenever she gets a chance. She decided the P-22 I got from my father was hers. Recently, she surprised my when she said she wanted something bigger than a 22 for self defense. I took her to the range and let her rent a variety of 9mms at the local indoor range. Sure, she jumped when the shooters in the other lane cut loose but she got focused on the job at hand and started shooting. At that point, the noise topped bothering her. She simply made up her mind that she was going to do this and she actually enjoyed the experience!
I won't pretend it will be easy for you but it is your choice. Man up, push through it, git'r done and soon enough, the noise won't bother you anymore. But if you think a 9mm pistol is bad, try a self loading 308 carbine at an indoor range- You'll go back to loving that 9mm!
But none of this will do you any good until you adjust your mindset. You have to want to overcome your fear. My wife hates loud noises and at the first thunderclap, I find her cowering in my lap. She doesn't like fireworks or gunshots. But she fell in love with my son's lever action 22 and shoots it whenever she gets a chance. She decided the P-22 I got from my father was hers. Recently, she surprised my when she said she wanted something bigger than a 22 for self defense. I took her to the range and let her rent a variety of 9mms at the local indoor range. Sure, she jumped when the shooters in the other lane cut loose but she got focused on the job at hand and started shooting. At that point, the noise topped bothering her. She simply made up her mind that she was going to do this and she actually enjoyed the experience!
I won't pretend it will be easy for you but it is your choice. Man up, push through it, git'r done and soon enough, the noise won't bother you anymore. But if you think a 9mm pistol is bad, try a self loading 308 carbine at an indoor range- You'll go back to loving that 9mm!