How to Spot a New Shotgunner

[sm]

Reading the threads about some of you people buying new shotguns--got me to thinking. Some have spent more money on ammo already than the gun. So lets share and poke fun at ourselves.

So...How To Spot a New Shotgunner:

--smell of Hoppe's wafting about
-- 'racking' of bolt sound emits from garage (weird hours also)
-- fallen asleep with Brister'sShotgunning: The Art and The Science
--Or Ruarks'The Old Man and the Boy
-- owner tries to explain to wife how shotty works
--can't get wife to understand or shoot with him
-- explains to dog and dog understands enthusiasm...to the point new owner cannot leave house peaceful with shotgun--unless dog goes with him.
--buys cases of shells at a time
--has spent hulls in trash bags, some not even in his gauge
-- uh oh, buys a Mec reloader

ahem--not that I have resembled any of the above -you understand

 

[HS/LD]

It seems that you start finding shot shells everywhere...

In your pockets.
The floor of your car.
Under the bed.
Between the couch cushions.

HS/LD

BTW For the safety conscious (all of us right) I have NO children in my house... I don't even allow children in my house.

 

[sm]

Hey , looks like I just spotted another one

--fondles a shell while driving...

-----
Safety Note: Always empty vest, range bag, etc. We DO NOT want to put wrong gauge in a gun.
-----

 

[NIGHTWATCH]

A look of anxiety and slight shortness of breath when approaching the firing line.

 

[HSMITH]

Safety on when the first target is called for.....

When safety does not let the gun fire and prop this guy back up he takes 3 steps toward the target....

Face turns bright red and it takes 10 targets to get back into the game......

Loads shells on his new MEC that are more suitable for turkey shooting at 75 yards than clay targets........

Loads such shells in massive quantities, then wonders if he can con buddies into shooting some to get the hulls back for yet another recipe and spread the pain out a little......

Shows up with an overly obvious new shell bag, vest, gloves and hat that are so stiff he can barely function....

Changes chokes between stations on the skeet or trap field....

Listens and takes tips from guys that haven't hit anything yet either......

Brings ALL of his chokes and at least 500 rounds to the club.....

Big knot welling up on his cheekbone after the first game, gotta keep that head down after all.....

Not that any of this has ever been me........

 

[Dave McCracken]

Thanks for the chuckles....

A couple more....

The aroma of Ben Gay after bench testing with slugs.

A return of most of the 3" mag ammo back to Bass Pro, Dick's,etc,and the purchase of Super Lites...

The sudden plethora of catalogs in the mail, from places like Orvis,Dunn's, Briley, Kolar, et al...

Or,if "Serious" shotgunning is the focus, Wilson, Vang,etc...

The hanging out at the range and the narrow eyed concentration when a local legend steps up to the line. Or anyone who looks like they know what they're doing...

The new shooting vest that hasn't been altered under the arm openings to reduce bind, or shows stretch marks in that area. Also, no old stains from gun oil, Hoppe's,bird blood or sweat.

The checking out from the library of every non fiction book that has the word "Shotgun" in it.

The magazines lying around change to Wing and Shot, Shotgun Sports, and Shooting Sportsman instead of House and Garden, ad nauseam.

The watching on Saturday morn of Hunting With Hank, Shotgun Journal, Pull!, and so on instead of old Warner Bros cartoons.

And the questions, like....

How can I alter my shotgun to belt feed?

Why shouldn't I shoot 3 1/2" steel in this century old Belgian clunker double?

I went to the range last night and missed most of the birds. Why?

Where can I pick up one of those really cool Pistol Grips for my Chinese clone shotgun?

I get nosebleeds when I shoot 3 1/2" mags from my 7 3/4 lb 391 Ultra. How do I stop the bleeding?

What slug works best for 200 yards plus shot on pronghorn?

If velociraptors were still around, would 00 be OK for shooting them?

And finally....

What kind of slug works best for shooting through bulletproof glass?(BTW, I actually got asked this).

 

[HS/LD]

Okay which slug was it?



I just got asked today about the difficulties of shooting down a Cesna with a 308??

HS/LD

 

[jrhines]

Watched a young turk at a range shoot a 12 ga slug into a hunk of "bullet-proof" car window, just to see what would happen. What happened was a broken leg when the round bounced back and caught him in the ankle of a pair of kevlar boots! We couldn't figure what had knocked him down 'cause he fell toward where he was shooting, like something hit him in the back. Nope, he just got his feet swept out from under him. And he was an instructor, not a newbi!

 

[sm]

New Shotgunner...

--ever bought a battery operated choke tube changer

--can't change chokes,batteries dead

--Kids' toys won't work, no batteries--choke tube changer now does

--Pow! "Its ok honey, just vacuumed a live primer"

--money for shells goes for new vaccum, old one kilt by live primer

--shot emptied from vaccum bag makes practice loads

--you just slapped your forehead after reading last line

--washed hulls in washer

--dried hulls in dryer

--wife put a lock on laundry room, your're not given a key

--used a shotshell pouch for clothespins, "where is that repairman?"

--new shotgun purchase delayed, new dryer is nice though

--mec 9000 purchase delayed, washer now matches dryer

 

[HS/LD]

re1973

That is funny thanks


HS/LD

 

[sjones]

One newbie(me) bought mec sizemaster and was measureing shot sharges(#9) and had the shot bottle un capped because I was pouring the shot back in the top afeter each measurement and it was completely full.Then I decided to remove the bottle and turned it over. I bet you know what happened.Well,have you ever seen what happens when you do this?to say it made a mess is the understatement of the year.My wife heard me yelling sh##,over and over and just had to come in to see what happened.all she said was well,it looks like you have a lot of picking up to do because she was locking her vacumn up. We all have to start learning somewhere. sj

 

[HSMITH]

Don't feel bad yet sjones, that IS gonna happen you you with BOTH bottles unplugged sooner or later. Then you will be scared to use the vaccum even if you could!!!!!!! When the static in the vaccum sets off the powder you sucked up it is one heck of a bang, I know a guy that did this. He was in his late 60's and nearly deaf anyway, but his ears rang for a long time and the cannister vac that his wife just loved died a quick death

We can pick on the new guys all we want, but some of the experts really screw up from time to time too LOL.

 

[romulus]

I've been shotgunning for ten years but the above still describes me...

 

[sm]

Shotgunning is like anything else--its a journey, not a destination.

I never said that I quit being NEW...I'm always learning.

TIP: Get a sheet metal buddy to make you tray ,mine has about 1" sides. My reloader and tray "C" clamped, when shot and powder decides to jump out of containers or shells, easy to retrieve. Unclamp, pour through sieve to retain shot, reclamp, good to go.

 

[Kingcreek]

So...How To Spot a New Shotgunner:

He shows up at the range and his "guncase" is the cardboard box it came in.

...and he can't figure out how to transport that "guncase" and all those boxes of shiney, brand new shotshells.

...and he DOESN'T have ear protection.

 

[sm]

--wonders why all the invites to shoot with various squads, they keep drooling as they spy "shiney new shells"

--"gee all those people were so nice--even vounteered to police my hulls".

--2 wks later..."whadya mean by "reload" ?"

 

[Traveler]

My feeling is that most of this thread discribes not the beginner, but the average shotgun fanatic.

Beginners are easy to tell apart. They try to use sights.

 

[Monkeyleg]

Opens shirt to reveal large black-and-blue spot on shoulder. (Sorry, but I'm still in that camp ).

 

[sm]

--digs through trash cans at range for shell boxes

--uses the Mec shell stacker so all shells slide into boxes

--uh oh! which box are the shell boxes amongst clutter in garage

--#'s the boxes and shoots in correct order

--wonder's if he'll ever shoot a "straight"

--low 8, straight so far...quiet as a morgue...hands sweaty, BP racing...heart about to jump out of chest...loads two...PULL--dust,thumping of heart, dry mouth, sweaty,... PULL IT...YES!!

--has a grin, receiving back slaps, and walks back to club with a shot up hat

 

[HSMITH]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-low 8, straight so far...quiet as a morgue...hands sweaty, BP racing...heart about to jump out of chest...loads two...PULL--dust,thumping of heart, dry mouth, sweaty,... PULL IT...YES!!

--has a grin, receiving back slaps, and walks back to club with a shot up hat
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What a feeling that is!!!!!!!!!! Man, how many times were you there on 8 with your heart trying to jump out of your throat and miss? LOL. The first 100 straight is just as exciting too, and just as likely that a couple old farts are going to massacre your headware at my club LOL.

 

[HS/LD]

You know you are a new shotgunner when:

Your wife gives you weird looks as you sit on the couch after dinner continually racking the slide about 500 times.

"But I am trying to smooth out the action honey... You gotta break it in a little..."

Weird look, "I'm going to bed."


Regards,
HS/LD