How to Talk to Your Neighbors About Guns

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BenW

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This is a good one :) :

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http://www.americandaily.com/item/4490

Rifles And Shotguns At Home, Oh My!
Larry Simoneaux, 01/27/04

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This one’s beyond redemption and pernicious to no end. Probably irresponsible, inconsiderate, and thoughtless to boot.

Still.

I’d just finished cleaning my .30-06 when the doorbell rang.

Setting things aside, I got up and opened the door.

Found a young lady standing there.

“Mr. Simoneaux?â€

“Yes.â€

“I’m your neighbor from a few doors down. Our boys are friends with your son and he’s asked if they could come play at your house.â€

“No problem there. Jason’s our youngest and we’ve been through having kids over with our older two. Got the place almost to where we can hose it down after an afternoon of whatever the kids get up to.â€

“Well, that’s good Mr. Simoneaux, but, you see, I’m a concerned parent…â€

“Aren’t we all. I was mostly concerned with staying sane while my two oldest went through their teens. Still not sure I made it and I still have Jason to go.â€

“Well there is that worry but, just now, I’m more concerned about guns.â€

“Good one to be concerned about.â€

“So, you’re concerned about guns in the home too?â€

“Absolutely. I’ve just about run out of space in the gun cabinet what with the rifles and shotguns we have for when we all go hunting together.â€

“No, what I mean is I’m concerned about guns in the home and I don’t want my kids in danger.â€

“I’m with you there. You wouldn’t believe how tough my wife and I are on that subject. Locks on the gun cabinet door. Safety chain running through the trigger guards to lock them into the cabinet. Ammunition locked in a small cabinet in the garage. My wife’s Italian, you know. I’d be sleeping with the fishes if I weren’t careful.â€

“So you keep guns in your house?â€

“Yep. How do you store yours?â€

“We don’t have guns and that’s why I wanted to talk with you.â€

“You want me to recommend a safety course? Be glad to and, I might say, you’re doing the right thing. Getting the kids through a course beforehand is the only way to go. Sure wish more people thought like you.â€

“That’s not it at all. I’m worried about where my boys play. And, with guns in a house, there could be…â€

“An accident? Ma’am, I worry about that too. That’s why all three of ours have been through safety and hunting courses and have shot until they’ve reached the point of not wanting to unless we’re going hunting. Then there’s that wife of mine. She’s laid down the law about ever touching a gun in this house unless one of us is around. Then there’s all of those locks…â€

“You’re still not getting my point. I don’t want my boys anywhere near danger.â€

“Me neither. Say, you don’t leave loaded buckets around your house, do you?

“Loaded buckets?â€

“Yeah, buckets full of water. Like when you’re mopping and go off to do something else. I read about toddlers falling into them and drowning. When ours were younger, we were really careful about that. Wouldn’t let them play in any house where people left loaded buckets around unattended. You wouldn’t believe the statistics on those things. But I can tell you’d never leave one out and Jason’s pretty big. I’d have no worry whatsoever about him playing in your house.â€

“Mr. Simoneaux, you’re still not getting my point about guns. I saw the sticker on your truck that says you’re an NRA member.â€

“Is that what this is about? You want to join? Don’t worry about not owning a gun. They have all sorts of safety courses that you and your kids can take beforehand. I think I even have some applications somewhere.â€

“That’s not it. You have guns in the house and I don’t want my kids…â€

“To feel embarrassed? Ma’am, I’ve lectured my kids over and over on the Golden Rule. Believe me, if they ever tease someone who hasn’t had all of the chances they’ve had to learn firearms safety, I’ll take a switch to ‘em.â€

“You’re missing the point. I’m scared of guns and…â€

“Scared of guns? Have you looked into professional help? Those shrinks can do amazing things nowadays for people who’re scared of inanimate objects.â€

“AAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!â€

“Larry, who’s that screaming?â€

“It’s our neighbor. She was asking about gun safety and just ran away.â€

“Is that gun cleaner I smell downstairs?â€

“Uhh…â€
“Are you cleaning that rifle on my new dining room table?â€

“Don’t worry. I put a lot of newspaper down and, besides, I left your tablecloth there in case I spilled anything and it got past the paper.

“AARRRGGHHH!!!â€

Good grief. Two screams in one day. Was it something I said?

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Larry Simoneaux is a freelance writer living in Edmonds, WA.

Copyright © 2003 Larry Simoneaux.

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Hilarious. :D
I worry about this statement, tho. "and have shot until they’ve reached the point of not wanting to unless we’re going hunting."

:what: The more I shoot, the more I want to shoot. I think they must be doing it wrong.:)
 
:D

Another good response is to thank them for letting you know that their children haven't been taught not to go looking through other people things & playing with whatever they find. Given that they have no self control you would rather that they not come over to your house....
 
You think that's bad? Wait until you're a priest, and you move to a new parish. As you're unpacking in the rectory, the ladies group arrives to welcome their new pastor - to find him unpacking something over 40 firearms (at that time - the collection has grown since then! :D ) and 10,000 rounds of various calibers of ammunition. Talk about a stunned silence...!

:what: :neener: :p :D

(The mens group loved it, though... :D )
 
That is excellent. Gotta try to remember some of those answers.

Preacherman, your parish isn't anywhere near the Lehigh Valley? Is it? :)
 
Preacherman
I seem to recall Solomon (sp) had 60 armed men standing by with swords at their side who were trained in the use of arms when he got married. He wanted to prove that he would take steps to always defend the women he loved. IMO we should at least keep ourselves armed to protect our wife. (sad to say I normally am too lazy and overconfident of my own abilities to bring the gun along.) :(
 
Preacherman

What is your denomination? You sound like my kind of Parson. Remember the line in "The Patriot" When the local Parson shoulders his musket and joins the Militia? Something to the effect of; "A Sheperd must tend his flock, and sometimes that means fighting off the wolves!" :D
 
My good friends invited me on a free vacation to Orlando last year, including a free suite at a resort, if I'd agree to take care of their little girl for a few days so they could gallivant about and do married folk stuff.

"You know I'll have guns with me in the hotel room, right?" I asked.
"Why do you think we want you to babysit our child? She'll be in the safest suite at the resort; they'd have to climb over your body and a pile of spent brass to get to her, right?" :D
 
Right after I got my permit I was going to shoot in the back yard(We live in the woods)..so I called my neighbor and let him know,just so he wouldn't have a heart attack w/ the noise.....he thanked me and said sometime he'd like to come over and shoot w/ me....turns out he's a local judge and shooter...he even helped me get in his Gun Club.....hey you never know....the neighbor on the other side however has said"I hate guns"....but has never had a problem w/ me shooting.....and actually recently she asked my wife if I could come over and shoot some squarrels:D ...she hates guns...unless they can help her...:cool:
 
Definitely a keeper!!! :D

OMG, Tamara, that is rich!! Thanks for a good laugh to start the day.

You know Tamara's going on vacation when her 'spare magazine' is a suitcase on wheels loaded down with ammo!! LOL
 
Tamara said:

"....if I'd agree to take care of their little girl for a few days so they could gallivant about and do married folk stuff."

Guarantee if someone takes my 3 boys for a few days, the wife and I will act like we're single again............woooooooooooooo hoooooooooooo
:evil: :D
 
Dude, a little warning please. :D

I was sitting here eating my lunch and almost dumped my sandwich on the laptop. Ye gods that's funny.
 
A great article. The author was articulate, and didn't skip a beat.


SMLE asked:

Preacherman....What is your denomination?
Click to expand...
Well, he used the words priest, parish, & rectory . That should serve to confirm that he is in fact Roman Catholic. All he needs to do is drop the word "Mass" into a post, and we're locked in. (I hope I'm right here, Preacherman.)

That said, I'm a bit confused about the use of the moniker "Preacherman". That's not a word that enjoys general usage amongst Catholics. Oh well - different strokes. We've already adjusted to the Roman collar being co-opted by certain other denominations. ;)

TM
 
Well, he used the words priest, parish, & rectory . That should serve to confirm that he is in fact Roman Catholic. All he needs to do is drop the word "Mass" into a post, and we're locked in.


Technically could be Episcopal
Or Anglican

Just said that cause I can. ;)
 
Last time a had to see a doctor, I removed my holster and said something to the effect of "it is legal". She laughed and said "why should I care, I am carrying one as well?" She'd never seen a Kahr P9 before and wanted to check it out. That's another reason why I like living in the South.
 
Well, he used the words priest, parish, & rectory . That should serve to confirm that he is in fact Roman Catholic. All he needs to do is drop the word "Mass" into a post, and we're locked in.
Click to expand...

Technically could be Episcopal
Click to expand...

Could be non-Roman Catholic. ;-)


Could also be eastern Orthodox of one stripe or another, but not to many of those live in US.

Few other possibilities as well.

patent
 
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