lance22
Member
Have you ever had difficulty understanding the things you read in the newspaper or hear on the news? Well ... no longer! Just use these handy translation guidelines!
Armed - Pocket knife found in person's car in 'junk box'.
Armed and Dangerous - Pocket knife was thought to be in person's pocket. Turned out to be only a tube of lip balm.
Heavily Armed - Person has small caliber of cheap make. This is worth months of investigation.
Armed and Barricaded - Person has small pistol in his home. Person shot at their doorway during ATF raid turned out to be an unrelated solicitor.
Carrying an Arsenal - Person has small caliber pistol and swiss army knife.
Massive Weapons Cache Found - Kitchen utility drawer of Person Carrying an Arsenal (see above).
Assault Weapon - Single shot, break action scattergun inherited from grampa, not used in 50 years.
Dangerous Assault Weapon - Single shot shotgun described above was found with fewer than two locks attached to it.
Sniper Rifle - Ruger 10/22 found in person's home. This is worth a year of undercover activity to get such a beast out of the community. Only the military should posses such a dangerous weapon.
Long range sniper rifle - Ruger 10/22 chambered for .22 WMR.
Para-Military Equipment - Gun owner was found to also have military supplies in home - these supplies are (1) a post card sent from Grampa from Okinawa in 1945 (2) a mail solicitation from Navy recruiter found in mailbox (3) an MRE in trunk of person's car, found next to blanket and flashlight, both of which have been noted as being used by military forces world-wide.
Dangerous Gun Nut - Person has posted messages on TheHighRoad.Org.
Bomb Residues Found - Person stepped on lawn fertilizer while visiting neighbors. This justifies helicopter back-up for SWAT team raid.
Bomb Making Supplies - Clock, wires, nitrates, and timers found in gun owners home. Clock was on kitchen walls, wires turned out to be coat hangers, nitrates were on bottom of shoe (described above) and timer was a three-minute salt egg timer. NOTE: Salt is an ingredient in some explosives.
Safe Gun Storage Laws - Federal mandate requiring that homes occupied by minors store firearms by coating them with cement, wrapped in chains and secured by no fewer than three locks. Keys to locks to be sent to Sarah Brady who will know when it is "safe" to unlock them.
Armed - Pocket knife found in person's car in 'junk box'.
Armed and Dangerous - Pocket knife was thought to be in person's pocket. Turned out to be only a tube of lip balm.
Heavily Armed - Person has small caliber of cheap make. This is worth months of investigation.
Armed and Barricaded - Person has small pistol in his home. Person shot at their doorway during ATF raid turned out to be an unrelated solicitor.
Carrying an Arsenal - Person has small caliber pistol and swiss army knife.
Massive Weapons Cache Found - Kitchen utility drawer of Person Carrying an Arsenal (see above).
Assault Weapon - Single shot, break action scattergun inherited from grampa, not used in 50 years.
Dangerous Assault Weapon - Single shot shotgun described above was found with fewer than two locks attached to it.
Sniper Rifle - Ruger 10/22 found in person's home. This is worth a year of undercover activity to get such a beast out of the community. Only the military should posses such a dangerous weapon.
Long range sniper rifle - Ruger 10/22 chambered for .22 WMR.
Para-Military Equipment - Gun owner was found to also have military supplies in home - these supplies are (1) a post card sent from Grampa from Okinawa in 1945 (2) a mail solicitation from Navy recruiter found in mailbox (3) an MRE in trunk of person's car, found next to blanket and flashlight, both of which have been noted as being used by military forces world-wide.
Dangerous Gun Nut - Person has posted messages on TheHighRoad.Org.
Bomb Residues Found - Person stepped on lawn fertilizer while visiting neighbors. This justifies helicopter back-up for SWAT team raid.
Bomb Making Supplies - Clock, wires, nitrates, and timers found in gun owners home. Clock was on kitchen walls, wires turned out to be coat hangers, nitrates were on bottom of shoe (described above) and timer was a three-minute salt egg timer. NOTE: Salt is an ingredient in some explosives.
Safe Gun Storage Laws - Federal mandate requiring that homes occupied by minors store firearms by coating them with cement, wrapped in chains and secured by no fewer than three locks. Keys to locks to be sent to Sarah Brady who will know when it is "safe" to unlock them.
lol, some of these are quite good...I needed that laugh