This is, sadly, the "Ayoob" school of defensive thinking. His writing, based on his conjecture as a shooter instead of as a criminal investigator, has perpetuated the myth of "graduated" lethality. I have yet to find a jurisdiction that defines firing a .38 special as a "leath lethal" decision in a self defense situation. Maybe Mr. Ayoob has? Indeed, I've yet to see a person prosecuted for a lesser offense because they used a .22 rimfire instead of a centerfire round.
I am not picking on you, KoB, just trying to poke holes in the common wisdom that pervades the gun community as to what is "legal" "rational" or "safe." When deploying deadly force, there is little wiggle room for "less lethal."
I also agree whole-heartedly with your last sentence - there is so much bad wisdom in the "conventional" wisdom it's hard to figure out how to challenge it.
FYI, I also agree the .44 spcl it the near ideal defensive round, and indoors or in dense urban areas is what I carry. We are clearly on the same page.