killer chimps. I'm not making this up

[armoredman]

So, what weapons for a troops of attacking chimps? I vote flamethrower. Or maybe minigun, inside armor.
As for baboons, I used to see them on the side of the road in the PI, as we bussed into Olongapo from NavMag, through some ungly jungle. We were told to never put the windows down, no matter how hot the bus was, as one of those evil baboons would climb in, and slaughter most of us before he could be stopped. We had one escort with a .45. Sure felt safe...

 

[jahwarrior]

chimps are our cousins, so it makes sense that they can be just as cruel, malicious, and nasty as us. recent video showed a tribe attacking an invading force succussfully, they cornered and killed a younger chimp, killed and ate him. ate him. name another primate that practices cannibalism. oh yeah, us. another female was beaten severely, and was what only be described as raped. so, shoot a chimp today, before they evolve and give us more trouble.

 

[Bondo_Red]

well it's not reallly a pointless thread.It enlightens people on the dangers of chimps and points out a potential new type of animal to hunt.

 

[thumper723]

So, what caliber for Baboons? Bonobos? Chimpanzees?

 

[BayouTeche77]

I guess the best answer for that question would be whatever caliber you feel comfortable with in its ability to stop a person, then go up a notch, since those chimps would probably have a much stronger will to live. With a rifle, I'd go no less than a .270, proven penetration and stopping power, with a handgun I'd definitely go with something .45 or larger, plus make sure it has a large capacity.

Of course, a blow gun, a wooden dart, and a poison dart frog have proven themselves quite nicely

 

[Simple Man]

Monkey's running wild in Florida. I know a guy that used to go boating on the Oklawaka river in Fl. near Silver Springs (where they filmed the first Tarzan movies). He always carried a sidearm as the monkey's would jump on his boat demanding food. He said they were very aggressive and had teeth that you would have to see to believe. Every so often the game and fish commission have "secret" hunts at night to kill off these bad boys. Kinda makes my trigger finger itchy.

Now if we could just get rid of those darn dillas.

Yes there are monkeys in this area and they do like to get hand outs but they are not savage beasts trying to kill people. A lot of people stop and throw bread to them and other things but the secret is just stay a safe enough distance away so that they aren't able to jump on your boat. These are very tiny monkeys though, I'm sure it would hurt if one bit you but they would be easy to field goal out of the boat.
The secret hunts do not exist as far as I know and I would think that I would know considering I worked for Silver Springs for some time.

 

[adobewalls]

I met a chimpanze up close once, at a menagerie kept by former circus people. It was an older chimp, and was about 5 feet tall and kept in a cage. The keeper told me not to get within arm range of the chimp, because he liked buttons and would grab at my shirt - and not let go. Needless to say I kept my distance.

That was when I first realized how big and strong Chimps actually are, not the cute little tikes they used for the Tarzan movies.

to keep gun related, I believe Capstick talked about carrying a High Power as a side arm in the bush. But that was a ways back.

 

[Bondo_Red]

Once me and my best friend finish high school we're gonna do a bunch of stuff we always wanted to but couldn't Baboon and/or Chimp hunting is on the list now, along with a visit to knob creek,grizzly hunting, and building a mini two man tank (His dad was a machinist for 30 years and has a whole garage filled with with every tool you can imagine.

 

[Mike U.]

I imagine since Ak-47's work fairly well on humans, they would work on marauding chimps too. Also, having 30 rounds on tap would be a big comfort considering these animals seem to prefer the gang attack. YIKES!!!

 

[Mike U.]

Bondo Red,

What exactly would be the reason for building a "mini-tank"?

And, do you have any idea how expensive it is to get tags, permits, a PH and all of the logistics involved for an African safari? Even if it's a one or two species hunt? Do you know if there is even a hunting season for chimps as they are considered an endangered species?

 

[plexreticle]

Someone should give the chimps guns and see how things develop.

 

[imprezagm4]

Kill em all.

 

[pdowg881]

I wonder hard hard it would be to train a chimp to use a gun.

 

[MD_Willington]

7.62x39 works well on Baboons...

My Ethiopian co-worker has done in many a Baboon and an Ostrich with his AKM, back in Ethiopia.

Also you can show curious primates how to slit their own throats, as they are "copy-cats"...

You simply hold a knife or bayonet back wards and run it across your throat quickly a few times. Leave the blade where the animal can get it and they will run the blade across their own throats, they don't differentiate between the blade or the spine of the blade.

 

[Vern Humphrey]

When I was in Singapore, I was scouting a location for a training exercise, and had my camera team along. I heard a crash! in the trees and thought, "Wow! That's a big squirrel!" Then I realized it was monkeys.

I turned around to see my camera team disappearing at top speed -- monkeys will mug you if they catch you in the jungle.

 

['Card]

...monkeys will mug you if they catch you in the jungle.

"You got a purty mouth on ya', human."

 

[Gun Wielding Maniac]

Capstick shot several baboons with a .375 H&H magnum. Then he killed a lot more with a MAC-10.

 

[Vern Humphrey]

In Singapore, there were some monkeys so obnoxious the other monkeys noticed -- and drove them out. They took up residence in a high-rise apartment complex. They started raiding apartments -- their favorite food appeared to be toothpaste. Finally, one of them found a tube of hair creme in someone's medicine cabinet -- and they tore that apartment to shreds to treach the owner not to try that trick anymore!

The Ministry of the Environment sent out a crew to trap them -- but while putting the trap together, the workers tripped it and caught themselves. The monkeys sat around and laughed until help came.

By the time I left Singapore, they still hadn't caught those monkeys.

 

[Gun Wielding Maniac]

Hopefully, they'll cane the offenders, vern.

 

[Vern Humphrey]

Before they do, they want to be sure who will be the caner and who will be the canee.

 

[JohnL2]

Gary Larson got attacked by a chimp???
That's news to me. Then again, that could explain a lot. Chimp trauma.

I recall a story of some couple that raised a baby chimp and then had it put into a animal sanctuary. They went to visit it and brought a birthday cake. One of the other chimps went well, ape, and mangled the guys face off. A handler shot the chimp dead.
Chimp jealousy I guess.

 

[zinj]

Gary Larson got attacked by a chimp???
That's news to me. Then again, that could explain a lot. Chimp trauma.

In one of his collections he also tells of having a large pet burmese python try to eat him.

 

[gezzer]

I believe Capstick talked about carrying a High Power as a side arm in the bush. But that was a ways back.

In one book Capstick mentions using a MAc10 in Rhodesia to shoot Baboons to help the natives in his area as the would attack and kill humans.

 

[ConfuseUs]

wonder hard hard it would be to train a chimp to use a gun.

Talk about SHTF situations.