Dumb Oklahoma Laws
-Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
-Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
-Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
-Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
-It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
-Whaling is illegal.
-It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
-Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings. (Repealed 1998)
-People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
-Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)
-Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
-Tattoos are banned.
-No one may spit on a sidewalk.
-It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
-Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
-Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.
Ada
-If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.
Clinton
-Molesting an automobile is illegal.
Hawthahorne
-It is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
Oklahoma City
-No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.
Schulter
-Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
Tulsa
-You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
-Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area.
Wynona
-Mules may not drink out of bird baths.
-Clothes may not be washed in bird baths.
Yukon
-While passing another vehicle, you must honk your horn.
How you know you're from Oklahoma
-You can tell the difference between a cow and a horse from a distance.
-You don't put too much effort into a hairstyle due to the weather.
-Your quarterback is hurt and it is the top story on the six o'clock news.
-You use your inheritance to attend the Oklahoma-Texas game.
-You can wear red and white overalls in public without being embarrassed.
-There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching
for the tornado.
-You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
-You go to the State Fair for your only vacation.
-You get up at 5:30 A.M. and go to the coffee shop, where the waitress never asks what you would like. She already knows.
-You are on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
-Little smokies are something you serve only on special occasions.
-You know what the "Sea of Red and White" is.
-All your radio preset buttons are country-western stations.
-ALL the radio stations are country-western stations.
-You can drive 80 mph on a two-lane dirt road with one hand, but driving 45 mph on a four-lane expressway in a city scares you to death.
-You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
-You call the wrong number by mistake and end up talking for an hour anyway.
-You aren't surprised when the Sooners are scheduled to play Iowa
Deaf and Blind in the fourth game of the season, but you're upset when the score is 82-0 and you don't go up in the national ratings.
-Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
-You know the difference between feed corn and sweet corn... while it's still on the stalk.
-You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.
-Football schedules are consulted before choosing a wedding date.
-You wear cowboy boots to church.
-You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays (before the Sunday drivers come out).
-It takes 30 seconds to drive clear across town.
-You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feedlot.
-It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in an airplane crash.
-You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah and Chickasha.
-You can recall hot summers by the year they happened easier than you can remember your mother's birthday.
-You think that people who complain about the wind in their states are sissies.
-You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door but by the availability of shade.
-A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
-You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee is.
-A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.
-You understand the difference between 3.2 and 6 point and more than once you've made a beer run to another state.
-You know that everything goes better with Ranch.
-You have had this conversation:
"You wanna Coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."
Something my brother typed up when he went back to Washington, DC...
A list of things I’ve discovered while living in Oklahoma:
Warning: some may sound really stupid
1) There are more than two towns in Oklahoma
2) Oklahomans are some of the toughest people I’ve ever met. I guess some old wild frontier blood in there somewhere.
3) Attendance, while recommended, is not required in Dr. Eberhard’s classes.
4) Sometimes it’s ok for the news to lead with a story on the weather.
5) Pride. Lots and lots of pride. And passion too. People here are not always the laid back personalities that they are sometimes portrayed to be. Find the right thing and they’ll get going on it.
6) The words to the song “Oklahoma”
7) A new found appreciation for karaoke
8) A lack of seafood is worth the trade for good Tex-Mex and Mexicali foods.
9) Beauty. There are some incredible and inspiring places here with natural beauty. Keep it that way; we need all of it that we can get.
10) Driving a couple of hours is nothing. Get used to it.
Hope you enjoy Oklahoma... it's not half bad.
