Rickstir
Member
SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT
A major research institution has just announced the
discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named "Governmentium".
Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These 311 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, as it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction
to take over 4 days to complete, when it would
normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it
does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization
in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase
over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".
When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element which radiates just as much
energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as
many morons.
A major research institution has just announced the
discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named "Governmentium".
Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These 311 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of
lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, as it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction
to take over 4 days to complete, when it would
normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it
does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization
in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and
deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase
over time, since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".
When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element which radiates just as much
energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as
many morons.
