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Odd bills that never made it in Statehouse
By PETE McALEER Statehouse Bureau, (609) 292-4935
TRENTON - Left to their own devices in 2003, New Jersey legislators would have sued the NFL for a blown call in a Giants game, banned large animals from the circus and forced students to wear protective eyeglasses to play badminton.
Other bills and resolutions from the past year reminded New Jersey residents to stop at flashing red lights, appreciate motorcycles and wash their hands.
None of those ideas actually made it to the governor's desk, although a few worked their way through the Legislature. Each required the taxpayer-funded time of not only the elected lawmakers who sponsored the bills but also the Office of Legislative Services staffers who researched and drafted them and the partisan staff who crafted news releases promoting them.
With the state Senate returning for the start of a new session Monday, here is a look at some bills from 2003 that might not have been worth the piles and piles of paper they were printed on.
'Can we craft a bill to sue the long snapper, too?'
When the New York Giants lost a playoff game in January 2003 because of a bad snap and a referee's missed pass-interference call, Assemblyman Anthony Impreveduto, a Democrat from Secaucus, decided to do something about it. He announced he would introduce a bill that urged the New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority to sue the NFL. To make up for the money lost to the Giants because of the blown call, Impreveduto reasoned, the NFL should agree to hold a Super Bowl game at the Meadowlands by 2009. The lawmaker withdrew the bill a few days later, after the pain from the heartbreaking loss dissipated.
'How about Highest Property Taxes in the Nation Awareness Month?'
Resolutions that raise awareness of a particular issue are government tradition. Sometimes they turn the spotlight on a little-known disease in an effort to raise money for research, or on an individual who made a little-known yet significant contribution to the state. Other times they shine a spotlight on the ubiquitous.
April, for example, was deemed Handwashing Awareness Month by several lawmakers. The month of May got singled out for the busy task of raising awareness for drug courts, YMCAs, children and motorcycles.
Deciding just how long the public should be made aware of such topics appears to be a tricky and inconsistent proposition. Lawmakers submitted bills designating a seven-day Police Recognition Week in May, a five-day Barber Recognition Week in September and one token day in late December to raise awareness for aviation technicians.
Barbers not only were nominated for their own month but for a commemorative postage stamp as well. That bill traced the history of the profession from the early days when barbers "dressed similar to ancient rulers" in Egypt and Greece, to a Middle Ages stint when they doubled as surgeons, on through the 15th century rise of barbers to faculty positions at the University of Paris and finally to the barber's present day status as fodder for movie and television scripts. The bill never got posted for a committee hearing.
'Is the tomato a fruit or a vegetable?'
In between debates about how to lower property tax and auto-insurance rates, the legislature also set aside time to nominate a state language (English), state slogan (former Gov. Tom Kean's "New Jersey and You: Perfect Together"), state steam locomotive (John Bull) and state fruit (a duel between the blueberry and tomato.) In the end, only the blueberry made it to the governor's desk, although the tomato bill may be revised in 2004 for a run at state vegetable.
The state fruit bills were at least spawned by elementary-school projects.
The nine bills offered on behalf of state songs involved mostly adults. In hopes of putting an end to an issue that has lingered in the State Government committee for several decades, one legislator tried to appease all involved with an omnibus bill that nominated a state song, state anthem, state popular song and state march song.
'Whereas "Born to Run" rocks ...'
Bills honoring late children's television star Mr. Rogers, unsung telephone inventor Antoni Meucci and the entire nation of Ireland were introduced in 2003. The Meucci and Ireland commemorations both moved on and got filed with the Secretary of State. Mr. Rogers failed to get a committee a hearing but has already been resubmitted for a 2004 commemoration.
And then there is the bill that honors The Boss, sponsored by two northern New Jersey assemblymen, who are obviously hoping to meet their favorite rock star in the flesh. Read the bill language, and you can almost hear the nervous stuttering.
"Ranging from his ode to Atlantic City, to 'Jersey Girl,' 'cause down the shore everything's all right,' to his plea to Asbury Park to 'rise up' in 'My City of Ruins,' to the 'swamps of Jersey' in 'Rosalita' ... Bruce Springsteen is a true ambassador for New Jersey," the bill pronounces.
The ode to Atlantic City, by the way, laments organized crime's corruption of America's Favorite Playground, while "Rosalita" finds its main characters planning to bolt the swamps of Jersey for a cafe in San Diego, California.
The most optimistic song mentioned, "Jersey Girl," was performed by Springsteen but written by Tom Waits. Perhaps most troubling, the bill completely ignores Springsteen's best album, "Darkness On The Edge of Town."
'What about those cute chimpanzees?'
Rock stars failed, however, to garner the attention heaped on animals.
One bill made illegal "the display or exhibit or use in any performance, in any manner, of a living bear, elephant, lion or tiger," with violators fined and the money sent to the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Other legislation sought to make room for calves to move around at slaughter farms and to force drivers to slow down to 25 mph when passing horses.
Also seeking to make roads safer was an Assembly bill that allowed school buses to display a "stop when red lights are flashing" bumper sticker.
The bumper-sticker bill never made it to the Assembly floor, but not every trivial bill died in 2003. Just last week, Gov. James E. McGreevey signed a bill that tackled the hot-button issue of bad yearbook photos. The new law allows students to replace their school photo with pictures taken by a personal photographer.
'I think that we shall never see another bill honoring Amiri'
Remarks widely taken to be anti-Semitic from state Poet Laureate Amiri Baraka sent legislators into a dizzying bill-writing frenzy. A dozen poet bills were introduced to express no confidence in Baraka, call for Baraka's resignation, fire Baraka, eliminate the Poet Laureate's honorarium and change the laureate appointment and removal process. In the end, McGreevey signed a bill that eliminated the position entirely. Baraka later landed an appointment as Poet Laureate for the Newark Board of Education. State lawmakers responded by promptly introducing a resolution condemning the move.
'Isn't that already a law?'
Some bills introduced in 2003 seemed sensible, if not quite essential, such as a bill that clarified that a victim's rights must be recognized by all courts in the state. The Woman's Right to Know Act asserted that "no abortion shall be performed, except with the voluntary consent of the woman upon whom the abortion is to be performed."
Other well-intentioned legislation seemed to aim a tad bit high. Trenton lawmakers introduced resolutions that called on China to release political prisoners, urged NATO to admit Estonia and Lithuania and "reaffirmed a commitment to opposing and combating worldwide discrimination against women."
'But what about lowering my property taxes?'
Yes, to be fair, there were bills in 2003 that addressed the issue of New Jersey's highest-in-the-nation property taxes.
Morris County Republican Richard Merkt proposed setting up a "tax me more" fund for Garden State residents hoping to pay more. It asked contributors to send a check and a 100-word statement, to be posted on the Department of Treasury Web site, explaining why they wanted to pay more in taxes. The bill, of course, was intended as a joke. But like far too many bills introduced in 2003, it also amounted to a serious waste of time.
To e-mail Pete McAleer at The Press:
[email protected]
BILL EXCERPTS
"Whereas the need for all individuals to routinely wash their hands every day transcends all ages and demographic categories ... be it resolved that the month of September 2003 is designated as Handwashing Awareness Month in the state of New Jersey."
"Stop when red lights are flashing: This legend shall be displayed across the rear black bumper of the school bus. ... The letters shall be of a color that contrasts with the color of the school bus."
"No abortion shall be performed, except with the voluntary consent of the woman upon whom the abortion is to be performed."
"Whereas barber shops and hairdressing locations are located throughout the country and their work can be seen in theatre, film and television."
"It is fitting and proper to designate the John Bull as the state steam locomotive."
Yup, makes me proud to live in Jersey. Sure does
. Fortunately, it's almost over.
Odd bills that never made it in Statehouse
By PETE McALEER Statehouse Bureau, (609) 292-4935
TRENTON - Left to their own devices in 2003, New Jersey legislators would have sued the NFL for a blown call in a Giants game, banned large animals from the circus and forced students to wear protective eyeglasses to play badminton.
Other bills and resolutions from the past year reminded New Jersey residents to stop at flashing red lights, appreciate motorcycles and wash their hands.
None of those ideas actually made it to the governor's desk, although a few worked their way through the Legislature. Each required the taxpayer-funded time of not only the elected lawmakers who sponsored the bills but also the Office of Legislative Services staffers who researched and drafted them and the partisan staff who crafted news releases promoting them.
With the state Senate returning for the start of a new session Monday, here is a look at some bills from 2003 that might not have been worth the piles and piles of paper they were printed on.
'Can we craft a bill to sue the long snapper, too?'
When the New York Giants lost a playoff game in January 2003 because of a bad snap and a referee's missed pass-interference call, Assemblyman Anthony Impreveduto, a Democrat from Secaucus, decided to do something about it. He announced he would introduce a bill that urged the New Jersey Sports and Exposition Authority to sue the NFL. To make up for the money lost to the Giants because of the blown call, Impreveduto reasoned, the NFL should agree to hold a Super Bowl game at the Meadowlands by 2009. The lawmaker withdrew the bill a few days later, after the pain from the heartbreaking loss dissipated.
'How about Highest Property Taxes in the Nation Awareness Month?'
Resolutions that raise awareness of a particular issue are government tradition. Sometimes they turn the spotlight on a little-known disease in an effort to raise money for research, or on an individual who made a little-known yet significant contribution to the state. Other times they shine a spotlight on the ubiquitous.
April, for example, was deemed Handwashing Awareness Month by several lawmakers. The month of May got singled out for the busy task of raising awareness for drug courts, YMCAs, children and motorcycles.
Deciding just how long the public should be made aware of such topics appears to be a tricky and inconsistent proposition. Lawmakers submitted bills designating a seven-day Police Recognition Week in May, a five-day Barber Recognition Week in September and one token day in late December to raise awareness for aviation technicians.
Barbers not only were nominated for their own month but for a commemorative postage stamp as well. That bill traced the history of the profession from the early days when barbers "dressed similar to ancient rulers" in Egypt and Greece, to a Middle Ages stint when they doubled as surgeons, on through the 15th century rise of barbers to faculty positions at the University of Paris and finally to the barber's present day status as fodder for movie and television scripts. The bill never got posted for a committee hearing.
'Is the tomato a fruit or a vegetable?'
In between debates about how to lower property tax and auto-insurance rates, the legislature also set aside time to nominate a state language (English), state slogan (former Gov. Tom Kean's "New Jersey and You: Perfect Together"), state steam locomotive (John Bull) and state fruit (a duel between the blueberry and tomato.) In the end, only the blueberry made it to the governor's desk, although the tomato bill may be revised in 2004 for a run at state vegetable.
The state fruit bills were at least spawned by elementary-school projects.
The nine bills offered on behalf of state songs involved mostly adults. In hopes of putting an end to an issue that has lingered in the State Government committee for several decades, one legislator tried to appease all involved with an omnibus bill that nominated a state song, state anthem, state popular song and state march song.
'Whereas "Born to Run" rocks ...'
Bills honoring late children's television star Mr. Rogers, unsung telephone inventor Antoni Meucci and the entire nation of Ireland were introduced in 2003. The Meucci and Ireland commemorations both moved on and got filed with the Secretary of State. Mr. Rogers failed to get a committee a hearing but has already been resubmitted for a 2004 commemoration.
And then there is the bill that honors The Boss, sponsored by two northern New Jersey assemblymen, who are obviously hoping to meet their favorite rock star in the flesh. Read the bill language, and you can almost hear the nervous stuttering.
"Ranging from his ode to Atlantic City, to 'Jersey Girl,' 'cause down the shore everything's all right,' to his plea to Asbury Park to 'rise up' in 'My City of Ruins,' to the 'swamps of Jersey' in 'Rosalita' ... Bruce Springsteen is a true ambassador for New Jersey," the bill pronounces.
The ode to Atlantic City, by the way, laments organized crime's corruption of America's Favorite Playground, while "Rosalita" finds its main characters planning to bolt the swamps of Jersey for a cafe in San Diego, California.
The most optimistic song mentioned, "Jersey Girl," was performed by Springsteen but written by Tom Waits. Perhaps most troubling, the bill completely ignores Springsteen's best album, "Darkness On The Edge of Town."
'What about those cute chimpanzees?'
Rock stars failed, however, to garner the attention heaped on animals.
One bill made illegal "the display or exhibit or use in any performance, in any manner, of a living bear, elephant, lion or tiger," with violators fined and the money sent to the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
Other legislation sought to make room for calves to move around at slaughter farms and to force drivers to slow down to 25 mph when passing horses.
Also seeking to make roads safer was an Assembly bill that allowed school buses to display a "stop when red lights are flashing" bumper sticker.
The bumper-sticker bill never made it to the Assembly floor, but not every trivial bill died in 2003. Just last week, Gov. James E. McGreevey signed a bill that tackled the hot-button issue of bad yearbook photos. The new law allows students to replace their school photo with pictures taken by a personal photographer.
'I think that we shall never see another bill honoring Amiri'
Remarks widely taken to be anti-Semitic from state Poet Laureate Amiri Baraka sent legislators into a dizzying bill-writing frenzy. A dozen poet bills were introduced to express no confidence in Baraka, call for Baraka's resignation, fire Baraka, eliminate the Poet Laureate's honorarium and change the laureate appointment and removal process. In the end, McGreevey signed a bill that eliminated the position entirely. Baraka later landed an appointment as Poet Laureate for the Newark Board of Education. State lawmakers responded by promptly introducing a resolution condemning the move.
'Isn't that already a law?'
Some bills introduced in 2003 seemed sensible, if not quite essential, such as a bill that clarified that a victim's rights must be recognized by all courts in the state. The Woman's Right to Know Act asserted that "no abortion shall be performed, except with the voluntary consent of the woman upon whom the abortion is to be performed."
Other well-intentioned legislation seemed to aim a tad bit high. Trenton lawmakers introduced resolutions that called on China to release political prisoners, urged NATO to admit Estonia and Lithuania and "reaffirmed a commitment to opposing and combating worldwide discrimination against women."
'But what about lowering my property taxes?'
Yes, to be fair, there were bills in 2003 that addressed the issue of New Jersey's highest-in-the-nation property taxes.
Morris County Republican Richard Merkt proposed setting up a "tax me more" fund for Garden State residents hoping to pay more. It asked contributors to send a check and a 100-word statement, to be posted on the Department of Treasury Web site, explaining why they wanted to pay more in taxes. The bill, of course, was intended as a joke. But like far too many bills introduced in 2003, it also amounted to a serious waste of time.
To e-mail Pete McAleer at The Press:
[email protected]
BILL EXCERPTS
"Whereas the need for all individuals to routinely wash their hands every day transcends all ages and demographic categories ... be it resolved that the month of September 2003 is designated as Handwashing Awareness Month in the state of New Jersey."
"Stop when red lights are flashing: This legend shall be displayed across the rear black bumper of the school bus. ... The letters shall be of a color that contrasts with the color of the school bus."
"No abortion shall be performed, except with the voluntary consent of the woman upon whom the abortion is to be performed."
"Whereas barber shops and hairdressing locations are located throughout the country and their work can be seen in theatre, film and television."
"It is fitting and proper to designate the John Bull as the state steam locomotive."
Yup, makes me proud to live in Jersey. Sure does
. Fortunately, it's almost over.
