You are cordially invited to
1st annual Ugly Shotgun Contest, Skeet Shoot & Monkey Rodeo!
On XXXXth at exactly 10:00 am Central Standard time (clocks to be set to mirror the Navy Master Clock) the activities will commence! Actually we can do this when ever everyone is available; I could give a s%^t….. The USCSS&MR will be held at XXXXXXXXXXXXXX. What are the requirements you ask? Well here you go:
Ugly Shotgun Contest: Each shooter is requited to purchase or provide proof of “value” for their shotgun, i.e. receipt, blue book value. This shot gun’s value can not exceed $50.00. This is the gun that you will shoot 2 rounds of Skeet with (50 shots) so please make sure it is in somewhat safe condition or that I am not standing by you when you shoot it! Each shotgun will be judged to see how ugly it is, the uglier the better! Your God awful shotgun will be 25% of your overall score.
Skeet Shoot: We will shoot two rounds of skeet (50 shots). This will be 50% of your combined score, 1 point per hit.
Monkey Rodeo: I just like saying “Monkey Rodeo”; this has nothing to do with monkeys. The goal is to find the most “creative attire” possible that will impress the judges and generally make a total XXX out of your self. The perfect example is Patrick’s “Robin” outfit from (Batman and Robin), that he wore without “skirt” that covered his junk! THIS EVENT WILL BE VIDEO TAPED! This is required category and will account for the remaining 25% of everyone’s overall score.
I have no idea who the judges will be for the Ugly Shotgun and Monkey Rodeo contests, any suggestions?
Entry fee is $45.00, this will include your 2 rounds of skeet, and all additional funds will go towards a gift card for the winner from Gander Mountain. Everyone will need to bring their own shotgun shells, ear and eye protection (Jonathan, condoms will not work, that’s a different protection!) There will also be a plaque or trophy for the winner!
I hope everyone will join us for the USCSS&MR! Give me a call at XXXXXXXXX with any questions, to RSVP or just to give me XXXX from thinking this up insane XXXX while suffering from a hangover shooting skeet.
LATER!
J.
