Omniblade

[C0untZer0]

Look at dat... I juz bent dis ting.

 

[Mikhail Weiss]

That looks exactly like what I need!
It's a very well thought-out and effective design!
The orange paracord will help me locate it on my tactical night missions to the fridge should I accidentally drop the tactically-anti-reflective-coating blade on the cold linoleum, said orange paracord flashing orangely in fridge light, as if to say, Cheese slicer here!

 

[lemaymiami]

I suspect that there might some cheeses that could defeat someone using that clearly useless item...

 

[Mikhail Weiss]

Now I know why a knife is called a “Messer” in German. That thing is a messer-upper of a knife/axe thingamabob. Maybe it should be called a knaxe. Maybe knaw, for knife+axe+saw.