There are many many good pistols out there. I would say, to start to narrow it, try to decide this parameters, roughly in order:
1. Caliber
2. Action type (DAO, DA/SA, or SAO). Select SAO only if you're going to the range regularly and practice drawing and disengaging the manual in one second-nature fell swoop.
3. Single stack or double stack, and therefore width dimension (which question will in turn depend on likely carry mode, so decide carry mode among one of the first decisions before deciding on a gun - OWB, IWB, Smartcarry, Pocket, what?)
4. *IF* it's a DAO or DA/SA gun, Whether you want a manual safety or a decocker, or both, or neither.
5. Construction of frame (Steel, aluminum, or plastic)
6. Revolver or Auto
7. Budget
8. General size (full-sized, compact, or subcompact)
9. Willing to buy used, or must have new gun?
This has been re-hashed hundreds of times, of course, but I like metal guns, preferaby all-steel.
I like the
Kahr MK9 in a Smartcarry for "always" carry. (Subcompact, all-steel, pre-sprung DAO with no manual safety, single stack, 9x19mm). Or PM9 if you want to go a little lighter in the crotch area. I personally like having a bullet-proof steel plate fig leaf flap (the MK9) protecting the vital zone from stray bullets, NSA sterility gamma rays, and the like.
I like the
CZ 75 Compact or P01, or a
Sig Classic P Series compact in an OWB paddle holster for "normal" carry, with a jacket to cover up.
I like a
4" bbl compact 1911 single stack (all-steel) for "Tuckable IWB" Carry (i.e. when the holster is one where you can tuck your shirt into it and go almost completely concealed without a jacket or vest). Another good choice for this mode is a larger Kahr or a HK P7. I can carry in this way with the Kahr in the SmartCarry rig, and have two completely concealed handguns, if I think I'm going to be in a rough area at night, for example. I can actually get a third completely concealed gun in addition to these by throwing the CZ into a belly band holster, but that's only in winter - too hot for summer.
For pocket carry, I like a
snubnose .38 special 5-shot revolver, specifically, the Taurus 85 SS, since autos tend to unwittingly get their mag release button pressed while carried in the pocket. I used to think that the bulkiness of the revo's cylinder made it a poor choice for pocket carry, but the protrusion of the cylinder actually helps hide the outline of the rest of the gun, concealing it's identity better than a small auto, particularly when inside a pocket holster.
But a small auto like a Rohrbaugh, Seecamp, or NAA Guardian would work for pocket carry as well. Even the smallest Kahrs are a little too big for pocket carry, *for me*.
I don't do ankle carry, and I no longer do fanny pack carry. For a fanny pack (or purse carry for a woman**), the CZ 2075 RAMI and Springfield XD subcompacts are good choices (2-stack, but very compact), provided they fit your hand. Thin-ness is not so much an issue with a fanny pack (or Safepacker carry).
**
Or a fancy-boy about town.
Having said all that, I continue to evolve as I live and learn. Would like a Rohrbaugh for pocket carry, but they're so pricey, we'll see....