Thought I would pop this thread back up, I've now put a few hundred rounds of .22 down range, and ~150 rounds of 9mm out of : P226, G19, M&P9, SR9, and 50 rounds of .40 out of a USP and G22.
didn't like the .40 at all. AT ALL. haha.
so far, really, I haven't found a 9mm I didn't enjoy shooting. I still have some more range time ahead of me before I'm comfortable buying something, but I've got it narrowed down to 2 pistols (for) now.
1) Springfield XD 4"
2) HK P2000 w/ LEM.
both of these pistols address what I believe is the #1 handling concern, the reholstering process. it is my trepidation about a lifetime of reholstering that leads me to not accept pistol that doesn't have either a grip safety or a hammer to facilitate safe reholstering (no glock, otherwise I find the glock a lovely shooting and enjoyable firearm)
I've reversed course on the manual safety after spending my time at the range. I don't feel I have the opportunity to practice with a safety enough in a manner that would translate to correct ingrained handling practices in the real world, so I'm choosing to instead focus on so called 'automatic' safeties like a grip safety.
the P2000 doesn't require a trigger pull in the course of a field strip, and I appreciate that, and it also has the paddle style mag release which I think poses an advantage (highest likelihood of the mag staying seated over the course of carry), but the XD has fewer points of entry for FOD, is mechanically simpler and possibly more rugged, and has better availability of things like sights etc. (and it's cheaper. cheaper is nice)
I ultimately discarded the P7 as a contender, no rail, not really any sight availability, high price, and feeling like I needed a high dollar coating job to make me feel secure in it's longevity. otherwise a very attractive design. if there were a modernized P7 (capacity and metallurgy/finishing) it would shoot to the top of my list.
so that's where I'm at, I hope others find my thought process useful/ thought provoking.
as always, feedback appreciated and encouraged!
PS: BCRider (Hi, I recognize you from ST:N and ADVRider!) my experience in life so far, between flying models, flying real planes, riding motorcycles and various other acts of youthful carousing have led me to believe that, for better and worse, I'm just not that excitable. I'm "one cool cucumber" as they say.