Post some of the funny stuff you've heard on the range.

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boat launch stories

True enough.
I remember seeing a guy back his 4WD right off the end of the ramp, in AZ. Water half way up the windshield. Guy came out the side window. Not a word was said.
 
DI during bootcamp - We police up all of our brass cause that stuff is illegal to civilians, they cant have it good to go?!?!

Recruits - AYE AYE SIR!

me - derp?????
 
Basic doing range shake out, I was on range detail and another private wasn't what you would call fast. DS shakes him, 'no brass, no ammo' he stops, looks at the ammo crates full of brass he was carrying, back at the DS, and asks him, 'what do I do with that'
 
Mall ninjas at my local indoor range. One guy with new scope trying to zero his 10/22. He has around a 1 1/2 group towards the top right of the target, says he needs to adjust the scope a few clicks this way and that. His friend asks why doesn't he just move the target across.
 
Belong to a private local outdoor range. I drive up to the gate, get out of the truck, open the padlock with my key, swing open the gate, get back in the truck, drive through, get out of the truck, close and lock the gate, get back in the truck and go to either the handgun or long gun section. The only funny stuff I hear is me talking to myself. I need therapy.
 
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austin360, not to be too picky here, but the correct spelling is 9mm Browning "Corta".

It's 'Corto', but you guys are on the right track
Click to expand...

Corto is the Italian designation while "Court" is the Czech word meaning short. Or 9mm Kurz (German) or 9mm Kratak (Yugo) or 9mm Scurt (Romanian) or 9x17 or just 9mm Short, or 9mm Browning Short depending on what language is being used. Corto, Court, Kurz, Kratak, Scurt all just mean "short" and all are attached to separate the 9x17 from the 9x19 9mm.
 
My dad met some oil drillers once, one had this perfect ring around his right eye. When he asked what it was he said he had fired a 30-06 with the scope jammed against his eye! Never could see straight again.
:banghead:
 
I once heard a Guy (can't remember where... I try to forget) say "yeah 45 is nice but if you wanna rip someone in half then You better use 9 mil" (-.-)

Another good one, me and my sisters boyfriend went to my local gun store to pick up my rifle while I was doing paperwork and waiting on the background check he was browsing... he pointed at the desert eagle in the case and nudges me... I acknowledge it and carry on only to hear him look at the clerk and ask "do you have any desert eagles?" I was confused to say the least...
 
I once heard a Guy (can't remember where... I try to forget) say "yeah 45 is nice but if you wanna rip someone in half then You better use 9 mil" (-.-)

Another good one, me and my sisters boyfriend went to my local gun store to pick up my rifle while I was doing paperwork and waiting on the background check he was browsing... he pointed at the desert eagle in the case and nudges me... I acknowledge it and carry on only to hear him look at the clerk and ask "do you have any desert eagles?" I was confused to say the least...
 
Mrcymstr said:
I once heard a Guy (can't remember where... I try to forget) say "yeah 45 is nice but if you wanna rip someone in half then You better use 9 mil" (-.-)

Another good one, me and my sisters boyfriend went to my local gun store to pick up my rifle while I was doing paperwork and waiting on the background check he was browsing... he pointed at the desert eagle in the case and nudges me... I acknowledge it and carry on only to hear him look at the clerk and ask "do you have any desert eagles?" I was confused to say the least...
Click to expand...
I'll do that in stores, partly as a check to see if the sales person is remotely knowledgable about inventory and what he's selling.
 
"You know those things jam like every other shot, don't ya?" - in reference to a Kimber Pro CDP II I once owned. The kimber was filthy since I had just ran over 500 rounds through it AND all of my empty brass was in a jug beside my case I was standing in front of.

"9mm?! Man you should have asked around before you bought that. You do know that 9mm will bounce right off of thick motorcycle leathers, right?"
 
Geeze, some of this stuff is hilarious!!

Once, at our old Police Qualification range.. it was downtown underneath a bridge.... a local gun club had rights to use the range on Wed. nights.. There was an old guy that showed up early to try out a new 45 hard ball gun he had just finished building.. Being downtown, there were always wino's about somewhere.. no one had been on the range shooting for a few hours. The civilian went and set up his box on a stand nearest the fence, and loaded with the obligatory 5 rounds. He Locked up on the target and let one fly.. There was a yell, and a wino fell off the bridge railing about 20 feet away outside the fence, evidently the sound of the shot scared him, and he fell from above the range at street level..... John, with the most dead pan, straight face, looked at his pistol and said, "Humm, high and to the right". We busted a gut...!!!!

While in our gun shop before I joined the Police Department, we used to get some of the dumbest people.. there was a man that walked in and asked "Can you put a stronger Goat on my pistol?" Whaaat? You know, the Goat, the thing with the horn on it that buts the shells, I need a stronger Goat so the bullets will come out faster".. We couldn't help him with that one... But my partner did sell him a new pistol...

Another guy walks in with as RG... "I need a new Clicky Pin". A Whaaat? "You know, a clicky pin, it's the thing here in the middle, without it the gun won't go Clicky-Clicky.." He was talking about the cylinder retention pin...

A lady walked into the shop one day, She was A LOOKER... Build like a Brick Outhouse.. She told my partner that she was looking for a gun for personal protection, He looked her straight in the face and told her, "Lady, I don't think they make one big enough".. I had to go in the back room... She smiled, winked, and bought a 9mm..

There are others, but these are the funniest..
 
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You guys are right about boat ramps, I was assigned to the Marine unit for a while, we used to go over to one of the big parks on the lake and just set about 100 yards off the public ramp there.. was one of the best free shows in town...

I actually did see a man UNHOOK HIS TRAILER from his car, and let boat, and trailer float off and tied the thing up to the dock and tell his wife and kids, "Okay Honey, were ready to load up.... we stopped and talked with him a bit....
 
Speaking of boat ramps, I saw a guy with a tiny Ford Ranger back his trailer not far enough down into the water and try to pull a big power boat up onto the trailer. The back end dipped under the water when he got the boat halfway on the trailer and it started taking on water. I laughed to myself for two seconds then decided I needed to help so I dove in from the dock where I was docking my jetski and held the front end of the boat out of the water because it was pivoting in the middle. That had to be one of the most physically exerting things I've ever done in such a short time. Lifting that boat up to drain the water out that kept pouring in seemed like it was almost too much. By that time other people showed up and we got the boat pulled enough up on the trailer that we could get the boat out of the water with about 10 people pushing on the truck to give it enough traction. That boat drained for a good 15 minutes and was still full of water :)
 
Was shooting my trapper pistol (black powder) with my son at the outdoor range. The guy a few feet away didn't like the smoke and smell told me that smokeless powder would give that pistol some uummpphhh and not smoke nearly as much!

I explained why it would never happen while I was shooting it and why. I still don't think he believed me. Look for him on the Darwin list in the future :(
 
Thats like saying no guns allowed at the gun range.

Today my room mate brought his nerf pistol to the line and took some shots downrange. The little revolver thing couldnt get the nerf darts 10 yards, but it was awfully funny and gave everyone a good laugh.
 
shooting my ruger 9mm/357 convertible at the range, the guy next to me asked if it was a colt. i said, no its my new ruger. he looked disappointed and said i don't like imported guns....he was shooting a taurus.
 
Me and my friend were at the range and he was having some malfunctions with his gen 4 glock 19, so he was a little frustrated to say the least. This old guy comes up to us and starts saying over and over "shoot happy rounds fellas" I'm kind of laughing becasue i've never heard that spoke at a range before. My friend is in the process of dealing with a stove pipe and not paying the old guy any attention. Then the guy gets right in my friends ear and says "happy rounds son" My friend turned around and said" LOOK, THIS GUN DOESNT SHOOT HAPPY ROUNDS OK"
 
Not for nothin', but I get the distinct feeling a lot of this dis-information is generated at the sales counter...

Time to get 'em back, lol, like checkin their inventory knowledge etc. :)

Side note, that image of a guy putting his boat and trailer afloat is just plain scary, Bob, hehehe.
 
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