Protecting our Children

[rdsmith3]

Hi, I am new here. I am a new gun owner, well, almost-owner. I live in NJ, and it takes time. I am interested in gun ownership for home defense against black bears and bad guys, and maybe some target shooting.

While I think it is important that we all be proactive in protecting our families, and avoid the "victim" culture that is so prevalent in our society today, I also think it is important to have a dialogue about the real threats to our children. I am a parent/step-parent to five kids, ranging in age from 5 to 22, so I am speaking from experience. Our guns cannot prevent what I believe are the most pressing threats to our kids.

First, as recent events in the news have reminded us, the threat of sexual abuse is most likely to come from relatives, friends, and acquaintances. The data is widely available. In other words, we have to be very careful of whom we trust to watch our kids alone. Uncle Charlie or the friendly neighbor is more likely to be a threat than a home invasion. I read that only 4% of the time is a stranger the perpetrator in sexual abuse of children.

Second, if you have teens, the main threats come from their friends. We have to really watch who their friends are, and get to know them. We have to spend time in relationships with our kids and their friends. In the teens, kids will listen more to their friends than to parents, and are very susceptible to experimenting with alcohol and drugs, or just do stupid things.

Third, and related to the above, social media is very important in our kids lives, and it is a threat to them and the family. Kids are on facebook all the time, revealing confidential information such as, "I am so excited we are going on vacation next week," or "My parents are away all weekend, let's party!" My wife requires that our children "friend" her on facebook and she regularly checks what is going on. She will advise the kids to un-friend people who seem undesirable, such as the high school kid who brags about his sexual conquests. She also does surprise text message checks. We discovered, for example, that one of our sons was planning to have a secret liaison with a young lady when we were at work in the summer. Busted!

Thanks for listening to my ramblings.

 

[Loosedhorse]

Hi. Welcome. Good luck with the gun. Given your needs (and NJ's laws) maybe a shotgun will make the most sense?

If the gun is going to be useful to you, I'd suggest planning on A LOT of target shooting (defense-oriented target shooting). Taking a course or two is a good idea.

As to your other concerns: sure, a gun does not wave away all evil. And awareness of threats is the first step to prevention.

 

[rdsmith3]

Yes, I'm getting a Remington 870. I'm just waiting for my NJ ID card.

thanks.

 

[TexasRifleman]

Welcome. One thing to keep in mind is that shotguns are not magic like some claim. They still need to be aimed, and practice is important.

That may present a problem to some folks. Many ranges don't allow shotguns to be fired in a self defense mode, they restrict them to the clay target ranges etc.

Take the time to find a shooting range that will let you practice properly with a shotgun. It might be a difficult search.

 

[rdsmith3]

Texas Rifleman - Thanks. We have some state owned Wildlife Management Areas that have ranges that allow shotgun and archery practice, as long as one has a hunting license (which I do) so I have that covered. I also joined an indoor range that does allow use of these under certain conditions.

 

[Shawn Dodson]

See - "Combative Shotgun Training Video Recommendations" at http://www.firearmstactical.com/tacticalbriefs/2006/04/main.htm

Good luck!

 

[Fred Fuller]

rdsmith3,

That's definitely one of the more multifaceted opening posts I've seen in a thread here is a good while. It might not be the whole elephant, but it's at least a haunch, and thus likely best we try to eat it one bite at the time.

SHOTGUNS- There are whole books written on the subject, and good ones too, but I'll try to keep it shorter than that . Suffice it to say that if you are new to gun ownership in general and shotguns in particular, the first and most important lesson to learn is safety. Usually the starting point we suggest is Jeff Cooper's 'Four Rules'- http://www.frfrogspad.com/cooper.htm#Four .

It's necessary to learn the basic mechanics of shooting the shotgun early along and IMHO it's easier to get those lessons nailed down if you have a trusted someone to help you learn them. If you don't know anyone who can help, try finding an NRA instructor near you. There's a locator at http://www.nrainstructors.org/searchcourse.aspx that will help you find an NRA certified instructor near you if there is one, and will give you a description of the various courses available.

In my own case I had a lot of help early along in this regard, and I wish everyone who ever picked up a shotgun had the same kind of help I did along the way. It's not an exact duplicate, no one's life experiences ever are a duplicate of anyone else's, but there's a close approximation of the important things I was taught in the early chapters of a book called The Old Man And The Boy (http://www.amazon.com/Old-Man-Boy-Robert-Ruark/dp/080502669X/ref=tmm_pap_title_0). I heartily recommend it to you. If you don't want to buy a copy your local public library will either have it on the shelf or can get it for you via interlibrary loan.

TOMATB won't teach you much about the mechanics of shooting a pumpgun but it will help you learn a good sized chunk of 'gun culture.' And I think you and perhaps even your sons will enjoy reading it. For other shotgun questions you might have, there's a good Shotgun forum here at THR (http://www.thehighroad.org/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=7) that has probably already discussed a lot of the things you'll want to know.

Once you learn gun safety to the point it's a reflex and get the basics of running the gun down pat (loading, shooting, reloading on the fly, select slug drill, handling malfunctions and unloading) then you'll be well on your way to learning what you need to know about how to fight with a shotgun. What's mostly left is strategy and tactics, and for that I'd suggest a class from a good defensive shotgun instructor. Until you can manage that, I'd suggest Clint Smith's defensive shotgun video. You can see a preview at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhgwHQCJwWw .

As to the threat of sexual abuse, an open and ongoing dialogue between parents children is one of the best protections those children can have. Children old enough to understand the language need to be taught the differences between "good touch" and "bad touch" (http://www.uihealthcare.com/topics/medicaldepartments/pediatrics/goodtouch/index.html) and what constitutes appropriate and inappropriate behavior, both on their part and from other people. Children who are confident they can talk to their parents about absolutely anything will most often do so.

With teens, their friends are not only a potential threat to them, but they're a potential threat to the parents as well. All too often it's the talkative nature of teens that spreads information that ultimately sets up burglaries of their parents' homes. If your teens don't know that 'family business' is to be kept private, that's a potential problem. Older children and teens like to brag to their friends - "Hey, my dad just got this HUUUUGE shotgun!" - and some things are better kept in the privacy of the family.

That's probably enough for this iteration, hope it helps.

Stay Safe,

lpl

 

[rdsmith3]

Lee - thanks very much

 

[mortablunt]

Welcome, and let me state: "Sentio male de tibi"

It's nice to have you here. I'm rather snarky, but I'll try to help you.

hi, I am new here. I am a new gun owner, well, almost-owner. I live in NJ, and it takes time.

You'll probably get the license sometime after the election of our 47'th president.

I am interested in gun ownership for home defense against black bears and bad guys, and maybe some target shooting.

Let's think.... NJ guns... HD against men, bears, and good for targets... Have you considered a Mosin-Nagant M91/30?

While I think it is important that we all be proactive in protecting our families, and avoid the "victim" culture that is so prevalent in our society today, I also think it is important to have a dialogue about the real threats to our children.

It is important to raise kids with some steel in them. And by real threats, I am thinking of car crashes, drunk drivers, cancer, terrorism, epidemics, and a global oil crisis.

I am a parent/step-parent to five kids, ranging in age from 5 to 22, so I am speaking from experience. Our guns cannot prevent what I believe are the most pressing threats to our kids.

I hardly dare ask.

First, as recent events in the news have reminded us, the threat of sexual abuse is most likely to come from relatives, friends, and acquaintances. The data is widely available. In other words, we have to be very careful of whom we trust to watch our kids alone. Uncle Charlie or the friendly neighbor is more likely to be a threat than a home invasion. I read that only 4% of the time is a stranger the perpetrator in sexual abuse of children.

Well done, good admission of facts.

Second, if you have teens, the main threats come from their friends. We have to really watch who their friends are, and get to know them. We have to spend time in relationships with our kids and their friends. In the teens, kids will listen more to their friends than to parents, and are very susceptible to experimenting with alcohol and drugs, or just do stupid things.

I am a teenager in college and I don't smoke or drink or take illegal drugs. At all! Not to be insulting, but you sound a bit orwellian.

Third, and related to the above, social media is very important in our kids lives, and it is a threat to them and the family.

Meh, I could take or leave Facebook. I only got it to stop people from going 'No Facebook ZOMG'

Kids are on facebook all the time, revealing confidential information such as, "I am so excited we are going on vacation next week," or "My parents are away all weekend, let's party!"

That's not exactly the world's most confidential information. Be worried if they start giving away accounts, credit cards, SSN's, or insurance info.

My wife requires that our children "friend" her on facebook and she regularly checks what is going on. She will advise the kids to un-friend people who seem undesirable, such as the high school kid who brags about his sexual conquests.

Is your place by any chanced named "The Beautiful Lovely Happy Supportive Democratic People's Republic Of Home"? I found those braggarts to be annoying and were easily dealt with by moving into honors and AP classes. Sorry, but the way you say "undesirable" just makes me grimmace.

She also does surprise text message checks. We discovered, for example, that one of our sons was planning to have a secret liaison with a young lady when we were at work in the summer. Busted!

At this point, I'm surprised that your kids don't do everything in code, face-to-face, and always use incog browsing. And don't tell me that you've got Omiai plans.