Here's my best snake story:
A couple of years ago a client came in the clinic door toting a larger Rubbermaid container on wheels. The Receptionists are always leery of any container that does not allow them to visibly identify the beasty contained therein. In this particular case, the container was the current domecile of a 12 year-old Reticulated Python.
Said snake was 18 feet long, and weighed 140 pounds. Needless to say, this snake was perfectly capable of killing an adult human without much effort. Well, the purpose of his visit was a sore in his mouth.
Hmmmmm....
OK, so I need to examine the mouth of an 18 foot long snake that weighs almost as much as I do. Time to round up a few technicians. Thankfully, the snake was pretty amicable about the whole examination process. One side of the mouth was horribly swollen, with necrotic tissue around the dental arcade. Another Vet had been treating him for mouth rot for the past month, without any visible improvement. All right, time for Plan B. Told the owner that a biopsy was in order to determine what exactly was going on there.
I don't think he would have been very cooperative about me pulling chunks of oral mucosa out of his mouth for histopathology, so anesthesia would be needed. As this was late on a Saturday, it would have to wait until Monday. The owner lived about 2 hours away, so he elected to admit the snake for the weekend.
The debate then began about where to put this creature. The dog runs have gaps too large in them to keep a determined snake inside. The last thing we needed was to have Mrs. Pettibone arrive on Monday morning to reclaim her Poodle Ginger, and have us point to a small bulge in the middle of the snake's abdomen. The snake would have to be given his own room. Thankfully, our hospital was fairly large, and had two rooms specifically designed for Exotic animals. We emptied out one and put the snake inside. On the door, I placed a large sign that read: "DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT OPENING THIS DOOR UNLESS THERE AT LEAST TWO PEOPLE PRESENT"
I nodded to myself as I affixed the sign to the door, knowing that it may very well save the life of an employee. I went about seeing the rest of my appointments. Later that evening, the cleaning crew came in. Bob, who was very meticulous about mopping the floor, was not very cognizant about anything above it. Yeah, you know what's coming...
As I'm getting packed up to leave for the night, I suddenly hear a loud moaning "WHOOOOAAA",and the sound of cleaning implements scattering across a tile floor. Thinking Bob may have slipped on the wet floor, I ran around the corner to make sure he was alright. There he stood, with his back to the door, looking over at me. His face was alabaster, and his whole body was trembling. I tried my best to suppress a grin as I said, "So I see you met Godzilla."
He nodded slowly, and bent over to pick up his mop. Turning his back to me, he went about continuing his custodial duties without saying another word. He never mentioned it to anyone.
Monday came and we anesthetized the snake. I took a biopsy of his mouth and we got our answer. Unfortunately for Godzilla, it was Squamous Cell Carcinoma. He lived for about 6 more months.
from the 12 guage, and snake is dead, and boat is sinking, fast.