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Song I wrote about my 5" .500 (to the tune of "Zoot Suit Riot")

Discussion in 'Handguns: Revolvers' started by John Ross, Aug 5, 2008.

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  1. John Ross

    John Ross Member

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    I can't write music at all, but I'm pretty good with lyrics. Given that Karaoke discs provide a near-limitless supply of songs without the words, I've found music I liked and have written several songs that have left audiences howling, and usually one woman blushing furiously. (I'm dangerous when you put a pen in my hand...)

    A friend suggested I write a song about my favorite gun. After getting over my initial reaction, I started thinking about it.

    Anyway, here's what I came up with. It helps if you are familiar with the original song.

    Ross Five Hundred

    Lyrics by John Ross
    To the tune of “Zoot Suit Riot” by The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies

    Sixteen bar lead-in

    What’s that thundering in the woods? A real belt cannon that delivers the goods
    Balance and power and lots of blam; Am I its Daddy? Yes I am!
    Ruger came to play, but they see they don’t know how
    They’d best stay away from four hundreds at two thou!

    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Throw down a half pound of lead
    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Keep the front sight out of your head

    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Throw down a half pound of lead
    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Keep the front sight out of your head

    (Spoken)
    Fire, Jerry!

    A tight-gapped, custom-made, pile-driver, man
    Fast twist spinning slugs fast as it can
    Cut me, Elmer, and you’ll understand
    In my veins muzzle energy ran
    The Performance Center says it was the factory’s finest hour
    Now you dealers know where your shooters come for power!

    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Throw down a half pound of lead
    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Keep the front sight out of your head

    You’ve got a Ross .500!
    You’ve got a Ross .500!
    You’ve got a Ross .500!

    (Spoken)
    It’s really nice
    Shoot every day
    Best grip it firmly
    Don’t let it get away
    It’s really strong
    Comes up so well
    Don’t let it bite you
    It’s got stomp from Hell!

    Oh, the Performance Center says it was the factory’s finest hour
    Now you dealers know where your shooters come for power!


    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Throw down a half pound of lead
    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Keep the front sight out of your head

    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Throw down a half pound of lead
    Ross Five Hundred (Magnum!)
    Keep the front sight out of your head

    You’ve got a Ross .500!
    You’ve got a Ross .500!
    You’ve got a Ross .500!

    (Spoken)
    I think I’m about ready to shoot it…



    JR
     
  2. bleachcola

    bleachcola member

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    You have to sing it and put the video on YouTube. That's the rules.
     
  3. John Ross

    John Ross Member

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    Working on it.

    JR
     
  4. bleachcola

    bleachcola member

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    You have to be behind a keyboard too. If you don't know how to use one, just use it as a prop.
     
  5. GUNKWAZY

    GUNKWAZY Member

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    If you're goin' with props, you minus well be sportin a Flock of Seagulls Do...;)

    Now I'm gonna be hummin that dang song all day. Thanks a lot.

    Jeff (GUNKWAZY
     
  6. bleachcola

    bleachcola member

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    Better than the Macarena.
     
  7. The Bushmaster

    The Bushmaster Member

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    And the curiocity just over come me and I had to waste my time to check this out. Couldn't believe some one would post something like this.:rolleyes:

    Oops...Forgot first rule on THR...No bad mouthin' the locals...Sorry moderators. Please delete as necessary...:evil:
     
  8. NG VI

    NG VI Member

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    All of the above apply in full! That is a ridiculous song you came up with, it better end up in video form online!
     
  9. bleachcola

    bleachcola member

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    I can't believe somebody would choose to live in Ava, Missouri but you don't see me whining about it.
     
  10. John Ross

    John Ross Member

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    LOL! I've given a couple of MG shoots in Ava for private parties. Great time, beautiful property, wonderful host.

    I doubt Bushmaster was on the guest list, though...

    JR
     
  11. Warren

    Warren Member

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    Why not Mambo .500?
     
  12. John Ross

    John Ross Member

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    What's a Mambo .500?

    JR
     
  13. 19-3Ben

    19-3Ben Member

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    mambo #5
     
  14. PTK

    PTK Member

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    Fantastic! I love that song, and your new lyrics fit perfectly. :D
     
  15. Warren

    Warren Member

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    You've not heard Mambo # 5??

    It's how Lou Vega qualified for entry into the One-Hit-Wonder Hall of Fame.
     
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