Trip to Mexico

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Shotgun12

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Apologies, if this "letter", has been posted before.

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Mr. President .... I'm heading to Mexico

U.S. Citizen
April 30, 2006

Dear Mr. President:

I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use
them or not.
3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their
school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government
services.
9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local
traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to
leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a
gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments
from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any
labor laws or tax laws.
13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical
word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely,

U.S. Citizen
 
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