U. S. Secretary Defense Donald Rumsfeld apologizes

[jsalcedo]

U. S. Secretary Defense Donald Rumsfeld apologized today for referring to France and Germany as an "Axis of Weasels."

"I'm sorry about that Axis of Weasels remark," said Mr. Rumsfeld."I didn't mean to dredge up the history of France and Germany's share of pathetic compliance with ruthless dictators." The Defense Secretary said he was "way out of bounds" with the comments.

"I should have known better than to remind people that these two nations--which live in freedom thanks only to the righteous might of America, Britain and their Allies--that these nations are morally and politically bankrupt, and have failed to learn the lessons of history," he said. "It really was an inappropriate thing to say--you know, the Axis of Weasels thing. I really should not have called them the Axis of Weasels. I think it's the 'Weasels' part that was most offensive...you know, when I said that France and Germany form an Axis of Weasels. Of course, I'm so sorry."

The Defense Secretary continued, "I want it to be known that no other man holds the Weasel in as high a regard as I do, and I'll be the first to point out the crucial role this noble creature plays in our ecosystem. I went way over the line comparing the Weasel to a bunch of rude, unwashed, leftist Euroweenie-surrender monkeys who change their underwear once a month whether they need to or not. And I just did it again, didn't I? I just insulted the Monkeys. I'm quitting while I'm ahead."

 

[Rawlings]

Yeah. I'd like to hear any member of the administration use the term "cheese-eating surrender-monkeys" in a complete sentence.

 

[zahc]

Where did you get that quote?

 

[WonderNine]

Funny, but B.S. quote

 

[Pendragon]

I call BS.

Funny though.

 

[jsalcedo]

Hey, its not on snopes.com yet so it has to be true

 

[Hkmp5sd]

Nope, it's bogus. Written by a guy called Scott Ott on a parody board called ScrappleFace .

A couple more of his articles are:

U.S. Appoints Bin Laden to Run Iraq
(2003-04-25) -- U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced today that Usama bin Laden has been named to head the interim government in Iraq. Mr. bin Laden will immediately appoint a cabinet which will develop a constitution and schedule popular elections as early as this summer.

"We were looking for someone who had the respect of the Shi'ite Mulsims in Iraq, and had a lot of connections there," said Mr. Rumfeld. "We think they will cooperate well with Mr. bin Laden who has the best interests of the Iraqi people at heart. Under his tolerant leadership, they'll have a true representative government to rival any in the Muslim world."

Mr. bin Laden, who is dead, could not be reached for comment.

or

Michael Moore to Go Shirtless on Mag Cover
(2003-04-24) -- In the wake of the Dixie Chicks attempt to blunt criticism by appearing mostly naked on a magazine cover, Academy Award-winning documentarist Michael Moore has agreed to appear shirtless on the cover of an unnamed periodical.

"There's nothing like a little skin to change the tone of the debate," said Mr. Moore. "Since I have more skin than most folks, it should really alter the mood of the discourse."