When do you feel most vulnerable?

[mr_dove]

For me, I feel the most vulnerable when I'm strapping my boys into their car seats. I can look around the area before I start but I still feel defenseless when I have my head inside the car without being able to see what's going on around me.

Number two would be when I'm bringing groceries in from the store. Both my hands are full with bags and bags of food so I'm pretty defenseless even if I have my CCW or my folder.

 

[fjolnirsson]

I have to go with the car seat thing. Pretty much any other time, I can keep a hand free and at least do spot checks of my surroundings. The car seat requires that I am half in and half out of the Jeep, in an awkward, contorted position with my both of my hands occupied.

As for getting groceries, I only carry them with my left hand, and I use plastic, so I can carry multiple bags at a time.

 

[hankdatank1362]

Umm... no matter what you're doing (unless you're carrying a child) if your hands are full, you could always drop whatever you're carrying.

Thought about that last time I left Food Lion with an armload.

+1 on the carseat thing.

 

[SoCalShooter]

I dont feel vulnerable I live in the DPRK the safest country ever!!! but back to seriousness, public bathroom for me...could take this a lot further but I think I will let it rest.

 

[Biker]

When playing live on stage. I'm blind due to the lights (play with my eyes closed anyway), and oblivious to anything but my fellow musicians.
A three year old with a sharp popsickle stick could take me out.

Biker

 

[TFin04]

Being the first one to work in the morning and locking the doors at night.

They are old bank doors with a shabby lock that takes a while for the key to hit the tumbler properly. My left side has a few bushes that during wintertime when it is dark at 5pm make a good hiding spot for the non welcome type.

That is the easiest time for somebody to enter the bank with me as a hostage, and also a time when I have NO access to any cash. It is all dual controlled and only one person goes in first for reasons like this. I just hope the guy(s) believe me if (god forbid), this ever happened.

Co-Workers are trained to wait 10 minutes and look for my all clear sign. If they dont see it they leave the parking lot and dial 911, leaving me by myself. While it is the best system for our purpose, it still leaves much to be desired.

 

[pax]

Absolutely agree on the car seat thing. At one time, I had five kids under age 6. Sometimes it seemed I spent half my life getting them in & out of those darn seats (and the other half changing diapers...)

Stuff that helped:

Only take the essentials. If you can get away with leaving the diaper bag in the car, do it. There's no such thing as travelling light with little kids, but the less "stuff" you have to deal with, the more your hands are free to take care of whatever else you need to take care of.

Remember your priorities. Getting the kids buckled isn't as important as getting out of a dicey situation. If you feel the parking lot is unsafe or feel threatened in any way, jam the kids into the car any which way, lock the doors, and go to someplace that is safe to finish up. You can buckle them up two blocks later and that is better than having to deal with an attack while buckling up. It is also better than getting in the habit of ignoring your instincts.

Get organized before leaving; focus outward while moving. Before you leave the building, take a moment to gather your wits and your belongings. Visualize getting into the car. If you're holding the baby in one arm and the toddler in the other, how are you planning to open the car door? Maybe put the toddler down, or have an older child carry the baby, or whatever. If someone needs soothing, soothe them -- or harden your heart if you must so you won't get distracted trying to soothe them while walking to the car. Get all that squared away before you leave the building, so that when you walk out, you are able to focus outward on your surroundings rather than inward on your family.

Pay attention earlier. Scan the parking lot before you leave the building. If anything in the lot looks unusual, watch for a minute before walking out the door. You're less likely to get surprised by someone who "suddenly pops up" from behind the next car if you glanced at the entire lot and saw them before they went into hiding.

Avoid multiple trips. Try to avoid taking two, three, four, fifteen trips back and forth to the house when you leave and come home. If you must: remember the baby is the last thing into the car, and the first thing out.

Remember it's not forever. Little kids can help more, sooner, than most parents realize. Teach your older kids how to buckle the younger ones, or have them help load the groceries. Never ever do something for a kid she's old enough to do for herself ... and remember, things do change as the kids grow.

Kids notice things adults don't. Take advantage of this. Make a game for the older kids: "How many people in the parking lot?" or "What color shirts do you see?" -- vary the game, but the idea is to get their bright little eyes helping you to notice your surroundings.

Take lots of breaks. You got the kids to the car. When you arrive, take a break and look around the lot. Open the door. Take a break and look around the lot. Put one kid into the seat, unbuckled. Place a hand on him, lift your head and look out the windows around the lot. Buckle him. Take a break, stand up, look around the lot. Get kid #2 into the car ... you get the picture. Don't be worried about looking like a freak, just get in the habit of looking around whenever there is a natural break in what you are doing.

Probably more ...?

pax

 

[10-Ring]

At work - there are times when both hands are busy and I have a difficult time accessing keys / phone / etc I'm so glad my son is old enough to drive himself and I no longer have to buckle him up anymore!

 

[Coyote3855]

Pax,

Excellent advice. I was out of that line of work (diaper bags and car seats) for about 25 years, but now I'm doing it for Grandkids.

Your post is good reading and good situation awareness tactics, kids or not. I

 

[Devonai]

Any time I have to go into a federal building with an access control point and one or two unarmed security guards.

 

[Rumble]

When I sleep. I have to wear a CPAP device, which is rather loud (well, loud in my head--my wife says it's not very loud at all), obscures my vision, and tethers me (not firmly, but it is sometimes awkward) to my bed. Makes it hard to hear or see much (on the other hand, I don't snore anymore, and so my wife has decided not to kill me in my sleep--I suppose it's all about tradeoffs )

Fortunately, we have a dog, who I can hear barking over the device.

 

[pax]

Any time I have to go into a federal building with an access control point and one or two unarmed security guards.

Devonai ~

Good one! Me, too...

Last year, my teenage son and I went into a federal building to obtain his permit to learn how to fly a glider (cool beans). Front wall of the building consisted of multiple glass doors, with a single metal detector placed a few steps inside one of the doors. We entered through one of the other doors. Security guard stopped us and said, "Hey, you need to go through the metal detector." Ummm, okay. I stepped over to the detector, son following me.

Security guard stopped my son and told him he did not need to go through the detector, because he was underage. What, there are no teenage criminals in America?

Funniest part? Because it was his permit we were after, my unscanned teenage son then got escorted past the desk and further into the bowels of the building. "For security reasons," I had to wait down in the lobby, right next to the metal detector. And yes, it made me a little nervous.

pax

 

[real_name]

The walk from the restaurant back to my car.
Here in TN we aren't allowed to carry in restaurants that serve alcohol, so I leave Siggy in the car. We are always very happy to be reunited and remain together until the next time I eat out.

 

[tellner]

Yesterday, while throwing up from food poisoning.

 

[Devonai]

"For security reasons," I had to wait down in the lobby, right next to the metal detector.

That sounds like a crock of bull. I would have complained to the security supervisor.

Yesterday, while throwing up from food poisoning.

BTDT. Sorry to hear about it.

 

[ZeSpectre]

Commuting to/from work.
I live in Northern Virginia (NoVa) and work in Washington DC. The bus part of my commute isn't so bad (except for the traffic congestion) but the train part absolutely sucks, especially if I've worked extra late. Once on the train you are stuck in a can, underground, with absolutely no place to go in the event of an emergency.

I've only had three close calls over the years but I always feel quite vulnerable on that train.

One crazy-aggressive homeless guy that went nuts and started flailing at everyone around him. I helped another passenger pin him down until the metro-cops could get to us. Later on I'm thinking about all the things I could have caught from this guy if he'd had sharps or bitten me...ugh.

One late evening group of just obvious thug-boyz who sized me up and then moved further back in the car and left me alone but kept eyeing me the whole time. (In my head I spent the majority of that ride calculating how to do the most damage with a laptop power "brick" and cord if the need presented itself).

Two business-suit types who suddenly exploded into a fistfight right next to me. One guy just suddenly turns and belts the other guy in the chops and the fight was on. Never did find out if it was personal or what the hell happened but I spent the night thinking...woah, that could have been me. All I could do at the time was try and squeeze back away from them.

 

[Exmasonite]

for me, it's whenever i come to school. No CCW on university property. doh.

 

[sm]

pax,
Excellent points!

I am single -

For me it has always been entering or exiting a structure,answering a door especially home or business, and entering / exiting a vehicle.
A lot of which has to do with the work I was in.

Being with other folks. I had 3 younger sibs, and concerns with other's kids. Add when married having a wife, a stepson, and dogs. Dogs and Vets can be interesting, especially a midnight run to emergency Vet hospital.

Elderly folks. Good example is when I am with mom. She cannot walk well. So I know I can move, scoot and evade, with someone not physically limited, they can too. With mom I can't very well just holler out to run, or anything. She looks like the prey she is.

She has a handicapped hang tag. My insistence on hang tag. I did not want her to have the handicapped plate, that just advertises her being prey even more driving around town.

Hang tag is only used when parking in handicapped parking. I either use her hang tag in my truck, or drive her car. Especially with it getting darker sooner.
I can pull up at front of grocery store, especially Mom&Pop one and get her inside quick.
She can stay in store, and most times if a lot of groceries, this place carries out groceries. Groceries loaded, mom comes out, and very quickly we are gone.

By herself, during the day, she can pull up, get in, and finally got her to hand keys to carry out boy, put groceries in car, and he/she carry out person or employee makes sure she gets in and leaves.

Getting her to do this at this grocery store and elsewhere I deserve a medal or something.
Surprised me she did it at the hardware store the first time.

Multiple cars - as sometimes a few of us meet, and some with kids - we do a team effort. Moms will often "watch" and I curse these child seats. Thank goodness for 12 year olds - "oh , do it like this and it is easy" . Not even her sib, this 12 year needs to be a engineer someday.

"Still think if you just tossed the brat in the truck with some toys if would be a lot easier"
"Don't temp me, he is teething"

<kidding>

 

[CoachVince]

Anytime I'm in my home state, but not in my home.

Seriously, whenever I'm in traffic in certain areas between home and work, and wouldn't be able to pull out quickly, I go up a level of alert. When I'm in a bank drivethru (it's hard to reach the cash chute without opening the driver's door on the mini-ute I drive). When standing in the driveway, at the school I work at, being a human traffic cone so parents won't pull into our lot at 40 mph during dismissal/school bus loading. When we went to Atlantic City, and walked to the casinos, one block away from the "official" walking route from the Convention Center to the casinos (the wife and I were followed til the two guys saw me pick up a fist-sized hunk of concrete in each hand).

 

[Pro_Gun]

When

I can't carry because of ignorant gun laws.

 

[up_onus]

anywhere there is a "no weapons permitted" establishment, and sleeping....

 

[Soap]

On my motorcycle.

 

[kengrubb]

Car seats in the car is a very defenseless time, but a minivan is something else. Standing upright with peripheral vision not that hard to get kids into a car seat.

Drive up ATMs make me nervous.

Away from a group of people, even out on a public street, is a bit more vulnerable. So long as there are people around, there's more of a chance someone will call 9-1-1 in the event of a problem. If not, then at least there's someone I can outrun and pass off the victimhood torch.


Any disarmament zone is bad, but it's all the more reason to remain vigilant and aware when one cannot carry. Improvise. Leaving Starbucks one is well armed with a formidable weapon.

 

[LkWinnipesaukee]

In the shower. I think I should start packing in the shower.

 

[Pistol Toter]

What will YOU DO?

I don't have the car seat problem anymore, as the baby is 21, and the closest grandchildren are 6 hours away. I would guess that my worst time is between the car and the front door at night. It is nearly impossible to change the motions between those two points. Anytime one is required to reduce his situational awareness, a problem can arise ( I say can, it may not). My wife is mistified when I see someone at the bank and then see the same individual at the grocery several miles away. She doesn't understand how I do that. The 21 yr old has the same ability / gift; the slightest change as to how something was positioned brings on a comment! Most of us will likely never be required to draw a weapon, I hope not, but as above it can. I find myself often playing out scenarios especially when in an unfamilar place or time. It is just like driving, what will I do if the car next to me begins to infringe upon my lane, that was at one time refered to as defensive driving. What will YOU DO?