I'm torn on this. On one hand, shops where everybody shows up in Sunday clothes make me think of the big retail chains, where nobody has a clue. The gun business is one of those where you need someone who loves guns and KNOWS them, not somebody who took a two-hour class and is just there for a paycheck. It goes with the territory that some of those folks in the first category are going to be the Grizzly Adams type. Oh well. I'd rather get good advice from them than bad advice from Brad in the Hunting Accessories section.
The most important thing is that they're friendly, knowledgable and approachable. That's what the guys at my gunshop are like. Sure, it could look nicer, but I'm not going to Macy's. I expect the smell of Hoppe's in the air and the sound of gunshots out back
On the other hand, there's such a thing as good business. If they're elitist jerks, I'm out of there in a heartbeat. There's one such place near me, where I've overheard exactly the things you mention. They have no patience for the inexperienced, and they think their opinions have the authority of holy writ.
Newbies tend to ask redundant and uninformed questions. That's not a reason for sighing and eye-rolling, it's an opportunity for education. I can see where people could get turned off by that.
So yeah, a few gun retailers could learn a few things from other retailers, but I don't expect them to turn into car dealerships, either.
Big dittos on the subject of female employees, though. That's a perspective that's sorely missing from every place I know, and I can see where women could feel intimidated by entering into what they percieve to be an all-male atmospehere.