Carbon_15
Member
This thread was such a riot on TFL a while back...here are the highlights. Any new ones?
her Bedroom slippers have Vibram soles
her car runs on tear gas.
she clips coupons in "Guns and Ammo'.
Her fingernails are NP-3
instead of 'silly putty', her kids play with C4
she uses pepper spray in her chilli.
her high heels are made by Rocky and Magnum
she opens her mail with a breaching round.
Her bra size is 38 +p
She had a Shoothouse warming party
at dinner everyone drinks from their own Camelback.
she makes the family eat dinner off of trauma plates
she sets mousetraps with itty bitty Claymores.
she "inserts" the kids at school, and "extracts" them in the afternoon.
Shes got a preban Hoover
her idea of jewelry is brass knuckles and zip ties
her business suits are all full metal jacket.
Her dress size is 9mm.
She prefers Special Ops to Special K for breakfast.
she use J-B Bore Bright for toothpaste.
When she sais she wants to hump..she means cross-country
she has a parkerized Salad Shooter.
she look for pre-ban high-caps in the magazine section at the supermarket.
her bi focals have night vision.
she uses Break-free for a personal lubricant.
that the kids' yardwork requires an OP plan and rapid deployment.
Shes developin' a new line of intimate wear called "Uncle Mike's Secret".
Her raid boots have stiletto heels
She fills the cats litter box with #6 shot
she makes the kids walk in snake formation behind her at the supermarket.
she serves carrots and +p’s
the Christmas tree is decorated with trip wire and flares
her blood type is Hoppe's.
She has kevlar panties.
Your dog is named Tennifer
She got an "Air Strike" button on her cellphone
the only color yarn she knit with is urban camouflage
at Christmas, she "cuffed and stuffed" Santa Claus
she wear a ghillie suit.... when she gardens
her kitchen knives handles are wraped with skateboard tape
if a jar is too tight, she pops it open with det-cord
She gets her rubbers from HOGUE
when she takes a belt to your butt, it's a Mitch Rosen!
Her cake mixer has a polymer frame
she makes Jell-o out of ballistic gelatin
she don’t drink Rum and Coke but Heckler and Koch
her lingerie is in "Realtree"...
she crochets with 550 cord
her purse attaches to her 782 gear with LC-1 clips.
She downloads MP-5's to listen to while she jogs
Her hair dryer has Pachmayr grips and a Kydex thigh rig
she don't cut the cheese...she slices the pie.
her hairnet is made by blackhawk
She uses grenade pins on the baby diapers
she cleans house with a satchel charge.
she uses a bore scrubber as her mascara brush.
She uses Bluedot to powder her nose.
The car's still on fire from the last time it broke down and she TOWed it.
she keeps her Tupperware in a Kydex cupboard
her Powerball numbers are 308223
She’s got an accessory rail on the dustbuster
The last time someone described her as stacked, she was standing at the doorway with a Benelli and 5 guys in raid gear
her curlers are made from 12 gauge empties
Christmas dinner is under the Christmas tree and is MREs.
She sent the Minivan to Robar.
she has a fore-end grip on her vacuum cleaner
She has a pistol grip 12 gauge breast pump
She has a Mk23 painted to match ever outfit
When someone sais ‘das da bomb’ she calls EOD
She powerwalks the mall in nomex
The PTA asked her not to drop the kids of for school in the Huey anymore
Your phone number is 870-556-5906
Continued...
her Bedroom slippers have Vibram soles
her car runs on tear gas.
she clips coupons in "Guns and Ammo'.
Her fingernails are NP-3
instead of 'silly putty', her kids play with C4
she uses pepper spray in her chilli.
her high heels are made by Rocky and Magnum
she opens her mail with a breaching round.
Her bra size is 38 +p
She had a Shoothouse warming party
at dinner everyone drinks from their own Camelback.
she makes the family eat dinner off of trauma plates
she sets mousetraps with itty bitty Claymores.
she "inserts" the kids at school, and "extracts" them in the afternoon.
Shes got a preban Hoover
her idea of jewelry is brass knuckles and zip ties
her business suits are all full metal jacket.
Her dress size is 9mm.
She prefers Special Ops to Special K for breakfast.
she use J-B Bore Bright for toothpaste.
When she sais she wants to hump..she means cross-country
she has a parkerized Salad Shooter.
she look for pre-ban high-caps in the magazine section at the supermarket.
her bi focals have night vision.
she uses Break-free for a personal lubricant.
that the kids' yardwork requires an OP plan and rapid deployment.
Shes developin' a new line of intimate wear called "Uncle Mike's Secret".
Her raid boots have stiletto heels
She fills the cats litter box with #6 shot
she makes the kids walk in snake formation behind her at the supermarket.
she serves carrots and +p’s
the Christmas tree is decorated with trip wire and flares
her blood type is Hoppe's.
She has kevlar panties.
Your dog is named Tennifer
She got an "Air Strike" button on her cellphone
the only color yarn she knit with is urban camouflage
at Christmas, she "cuffed and stuffed" Santa Claus
she wear a ghillie suit.... when she gardens
her kitchen knives handles are wraped with skateboard tape
if a jar is too tight, she pops it open with det-cord
She gets her rubbers from HOGUE
when she takes a belt to your butt, it's a Mitch Rosen!
Her cake mixer has a polymer frame
she makes Jell-o out of ballistic gelatin
she don’t drink Rum and Coke but Heckler and Koch
her lingerie is in "Realtree"...
she crochets with 550 cord
her purse attaches to her 782 gear with LC-1 clips.
She downloads MP-5's to listen to while she jogs
Her hair dryer has Pachmayr grips and a Kydex thigh rig
she don't cut the cheese...she slices the pie.
her hairnet is made by blackhawk
She uses grenade pins on the baby diapers
she cleans house with a satchel charge.
she uses a bore scrubber as her mascara brush.
She uses Bluedot to powder her nose.
The car's still on fire from the last time it broke down and she TOWed it.
she keeps her Tupperware in a Kydex cupboard
her Powerball numbers are 308223
She’s got an accessory rail on the dustbuster
The last time someone described her as stacked, she was standing at the doorway with a Benelli and 5 guys in raid gear
her curlers are made from 12 gauge empties
Christmas dinner is under the Christmas tree and is MREs.
She sent the Minivan to Robar.
she has a fore-end grip on her vacuum cleaner
She has a pistol grip 12 gauge breast pump
She has a Mk23 painted to match ever outfit
When someone sais ‘das da bomb’ she calls EOD
She powerwalks the mall in nomex
The PTA asked her not to drop the kids of for school in the Huey anymore
Your phone number is 870-556-5906
Continued...
