"You bought another gun, didn't you?"

[BryanP]

Some of you may remember my post recently about my wife's car wreck. The one she by all rights should have died in and instead is being released back to work less than 3 weeks afterwards. Yes, we've used up our luck quotient for the year. No lottery tickets for us.

Anyway, we were discussing "Husband Points." Husband Points are earned by being gallant, taking care of things that she hates, or in this case taking care of everything related to the accident while she healed. Someone asked what exactly "husband points" were.

"Oh, he redeems them. When he brings home some new computer or electronics toy or if he buys another gun I'll just sigh instead of complaining that I still don't have wood floors."

Side note: with the really fun events of the past 2+ years (looooong story) she told me that at one point I had enough Husband Points to cover anything up to but not quite including an affair.

So she makes the above comment, looks at me and sees the expression on my face. "You bought another gun."

Bryan looks around, shuffles feet. "Uh, well, yeah. Two days before your accident. I didn't know you were going to wreck your car."

Her: *sigh*

 

[4v50 Gary]

sees the expression on my face. "You bought another gun."

Isn't non-verbal communication a fascinating topic? Thankfully you were up on your husband points.

 

[BigG]

Since I didn't start this thread and a moderator has already chimed in, thus establishing "gun relatedness," I will feel free to add this handy dandy checklist I have found helpful to decode female vocabulary: No need to thank me!

WORDS WOMEN USE


FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are
right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks -
this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an
even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will resu! lt in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will
get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when
she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at
that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she
is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay
content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman! can make to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is
often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised
Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big
trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance
to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it
is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her
in some callous way, a! nd will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not
to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing"

 

[Lennyjoe]

Lets me just say that Im glad my wife doesnt look in the gunsafe.

 

[Standing Wolf]

My ex-wife used to try to keep track of my guns.

 

[alwims]

<GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big
trouble.>

Man I hate that one. I get caught with that one all the time. You would think after 22 years of fearful, I mean wonderful marrage I would have her figured out. And how in the heck does she know every single time I even think about buying another pistol??????
:banghead:

 

[Smurfslayer]

All outta Husband points...

Been out of "Husband Points" since last year. My portion of last year's tax refund got plunked down on C3 transfer... A scant few weeks before - Wife's layoff which turned out to be really long term, and 1st dog's sudden "bloat" - a sometimes fatal stomach ailment - requiring expensive surgery. Now our 2nd dog has (probably terminal, but hoping for remission) mast cell cancer, and treatment is not cheap. At least she's got a job though ( my wife, not the dog ). Yup, I wore my Husband Point surplus out when she found out I had an inbound gun... :banghead:

Hopefully this year I can rebuild my surplus...

 

[Dave R]

So am I the only husband on THR who actually obtains spousal consent before purchasing a firearm?

OOopps, forgot, there was one I didn't ask about, but that was just a $60 Romanian .22 which the son loves.

Oh, and there was the P-32, but that was a trade, so it doesn't count, right? And I told her about it afterwards....

OK, I _usually_ obtain spousal consent, which consent is not unreasonably witheld.

 

[Monkeyleg]

On Christmas eve, 2002 I earned a whole bunch of husband points when I surprised my wife with a new car.

Unfortunately, I can't afford any new guns. But the husband points are there, so maybe later this year.

 

[BowStreetRunner]

wow, a new car, that sounds like a lot of husband points to me.....
at least 3 or so new guns
BSR

 

[BryanP]

Isn't non-verbal communication a fascinating topic? Thankfully you were up on your husband points.

We call it Marital Telepathy. Of course this was happening before we were married, so we engaged in Premarital Telepathy.

 

[Sylvilagus Aquaticus]

I'm glad my ex didn't know one High Power from another. I just had to remember not to get onre than one out at a time and never let her know there were 15 hiding any time one was out.

Regards,
Rabbit.

 

[tc300mag1]

The real question is what gun did you buy? Mine just says ok as long as i keep the one she likes to shoot she dont care

Im glad mine isnt bad about it even help me choose where gun cabnit would look the best and the reloading bench. Plus buys me gun stuff so shes part of the problem

 

[Range Ninja]

I'm not married just livin' in sin. So I've got to be super ninja about hiding my toys. I only keep one gun at our residence in a colored case - that she never looks in. I keep the others at my parents and switch them out when I began to miss one.

 

[Azrael256]

Not married, and, if I'm lucky, staying that way.... somehow this doesn't allow me to buy new guns all the time... go figure.

 

[Diggler]

It's a lot easier to buy a gun for yourself if you buy her one first.

For example, two weeks ago I bought her a brand new S&W 642 Airweight .38, then one day later returned to buy myself a Springfield Loaded .45 in black stainless!

Now, if she brings it up, I can just say, "Well YOU got one..."

Of course, I can shoot the .38 whenever I want....

 

[Langenator]

Maybe I should get a His & Hers on all my C&R rifles. That and the Kimber Ultra Carry she's getting for her birthday ought to be worth tons of Husband Points.

 

[Khornet]

I just had to explain

when the DPMS and the Para showed up on the credit card. Fortunately, I was armed with the truth: there actually was a legit business reason (which I won't discuss). I got the "fine", followed by the heavy sigh, but ten minutes later she cracked up!

God bless 'er. The sweetest thing about being a man: WOMEN.

 

[Rhinodogg]

Went to the fun show a couple of weeks ago. When I get home, the first thing she asks is: "Where's your new gun?". I say: "I didn't buy a new gun". Which was the truth. I did however buy about $400 worth of reloading stuff and ammo. I got busted the next day when she happened to look at my reloading bench and noticed several shiny new items. I have no doubt there is a satan, because I live with her.

 

[alwims]

Women, you gota love 'em but d**m how do they do it. Is this some kind of special power they are taught when they are young?

 

[rayjay]

My wife is really good about my gun habit. She even got sneeky about it back in Dec. We started talking about handguns one afternoon while we were driving around shopping. She asked me if I "could buy a handgun today" what would it be? I narrowed it down to a G17(for IDPA). Little did I know I was being set up. About a week later I was getting ready for work and she says "I guess I'll give you your X-mas present early." She hands me a wrapped package but as soon as I saw it I KNEW it was a Glock container. I think to myself WOW how'd she kno..........Hey! Now I remember the conversation we had a week earlier. As I was driving to work thinking I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have such a beautiful and gun friendly wife, it hits me. Oh my god! What is she up to! Come to find out later that evening that she ordered new furniture for the living room. The Glock was a distraction to keep me off the furniture trail. I'm thinking I still got the better end of the deal.