I'm pretty much in the "don’t ask, don't tell" category. I don't hide anything from my wife, nor do I bother to tell her what I've got. She knows my collection is "large", and now even larger after I inherited my grandfather's modest collection when he passed away four years ago.
Maintaining "don’t ask, don't tell", is pretty easy as she's
willfully disinterested in my firearms. Politicaly, she's actually moderately pro-gun, but she
dislikes mine on the basis that they represent time/energy devoted away from her and our family life. (Hypocritical on her part, as I only manage to get any kind of shooting related activity in once a month or less…) The only thing I'm unsure of is if she consciously recognizes the source of her disdain for my collection or not. And I'm not going to bother asking her to find out, as I'm not going to get any kind of rational answer out of her that would get her to change her mind.
Beyond that, having the "critical mass" in the size of the collection is great, since each new firearm is just a minor increase in the entire amount of "gunnage" you possess. If you have only one firearm, a second is a whopping 100% increase. If you have twenty, an addition is only a 5% increase...
I also don’t feel guilty as I've been responsible. I only acquired new additions to the collection with found money, gift money, or the change I scrimp and save into the "gunvelope" over many, many months. I've also let my C&R license expire for lack of time or funds to buy anything with it. I haven't bought a new firearm in the three years since our children were born. Instead, I've focused on lower-cost accessories for what I do have in my collection since that time.
Ultimately, my particular "wife strategy" is not focused around my ability to acquire new firearms, instead it's predicated on avoiding endless circular arguments with my spouse who prefers to debate emotionally rather than rationally. This way I can better focus on the majority of the aspects of my marriage that work properly.
