My 2 cents:
Women are not too different from men. Send her to the website
http://www.corneredcat.com/ for advice.
Some things I've learned:
- We need to be guiding them, NOT influencing them. Let them form their own biases. As long as they end up with a reliable firearm of an adequate caliber, and proceed to become proficient enough to operate it under stress...well that is all we are after. She needs to choose sides in the XD vs glock vs 1911 vs revolver vs 9mm vs 40 vs 45 vs whatever battle for herself.
- Recoil is perceived and very little is actually felt. She can handle that mean ol' 9mm, 40 slow and weak or 45 ACP just as well as you or I can. I dated a girl that was 5'4" and 110lbs soaking wet...about as small as they come. She could shoot anything I owned when properly instructed. She never even whined about shooting 357 out of a lightweight revolver. I could tell it stung, but my friend that owned the snubbie whined WAY more than she did.
- A snub nose revolver is not the defacto carry gun a woman needs. They need to shoot (rent or borrow from friends) many different types, including types of handguns that you don't like. I learned to like glocks because I had an ex that shot them well no matter how much I wanted her to like my 1911 or a 38 snubbie. Whaddaya know...I like them, too. Now she is gone, but yet there are 2 or 3 glocks in my safe.
- 2 weeks worth of simple triceps and maybe shoulder exercises will have her racking that slide in no time if she is having trouble. If you're like me and over 30, if you don't already do so; exercising may be more of a lifesaver than that firearm anyway.
- Yes their stance looks funny, at first. They have larger, heavier breasts. Women need to counterbalance. It is natural for them to lean back. See cornered cat reference above for advice.
- If we try to hard and give them too much info at first, it ceases to be fun. If it stops being enjoyable, they won't like it and it will stop.
- Be open minded enough so that when you giver her advice, you tell her when your opinion is an opinion and when a fact is a fact. I've heard too many times "my last boyfriend said I shouldn't shoot plastic guns because they are junk, or anything smaller than 45 will just get you killed." All of that stuff are opinions that we have formed and we will defend until we are blue in the face. Let her form her own. As long as it is an adequate caliber in a reliable handgun, all we need to be doing is helping steer her in becoming proficient. In that respect, a good class is better than any lesson we could ever give her.
- On body carry is different so experience doesn't mean much. She needs to seek out advice from women who carry. Their hips are built so different that what is comfortable and concealable on us looks like a gigantic lump on her hip. 4-5 o'clock IWB seems to be most comfortable from what I hear, but opinions and comfort vary.
Just my 2 cents...your mileage may vary.