Single Again

[Officers'Wife]

Hi Middle,

My first boyfriend was very nervous about the idea of my Dad having a firearm in ready reach. He was even more nervous when he found out I had a knife in my purse. What caused us to break up though was when he 'helped' my Uncle and I castrate hogs. Something about the way I smiled.(?) Or maybe it was Dad pointing at the guy and telling Uncle Lee there was one left.

Hubby, on the other hand, usually borrows my knife.

(If you are curious the knife is a hand made 5 1/2 in double edged 'toothpick' made out of blister steel folded 800 times. )

Selena

 

[-terry]

Rsachen,
You don't sound like you're willing to "pay the price." It seems that it's your way or the highway. Too bad. there are lots of really nice people out there, male and female, who don't share your views but are good, trustworthy, interesting people to have as friends or lovers.

For me, the last time I was in the hospital not a single one of my guns visited me, sent me a card, or wished for my speedy recovery. On the other hand, my wife was there every day, spent many nights there, and constantly was constantly encouraging my recovery. If it came to her or the guns which do you think I'd choose? (She also doesn't share my interest in guns but says I was grandfathered in when we married.)

-terry

 

[jakemccoy]

Terry wrote,

You don't sound like you're willing to "pay the price." It seems that it's your way or the highway. Too bad. there are lots of really nice people out there, male and female, who don't share your views but are good, trustworthy, interesting people to have as friends or lovers.

For me, the last time I was in the hospital not a single one of my guns visited me, sent me a card, or wished for my speedy recovery. On the other hand, my wife was there every day, spent many nights there, and constantly was constantly encouraging my recovery. If it came to her or the guns which do you think I'd choose? (She also doesn't share my interest in guns but says I was grandfathered in when we married.)

I see your point. However, you could use the same argument to cut off your pinky. With new relationships, we don't have to make the choice you're talking about. If we're talking about a wife or a 10 year relationship, then yeah, I might let the woman meddle with my pastimes. However, a girlfriend of a year or so, well, she needs to understand she has no monopoly on the female companionship thing.

I have three pastimes that are more than mere hobbies. They actually define who I am. A woman I'm dating has to be into at least one of them (making music, snowboarding or shooting firearms). I'll compromise on two, but not all three. She has to be locked into at least one. I've learned the hard way twice in my life. I’ve learned to figure things out earlier in any dating situation.

 

[Cougfan2]

When I went on my first date with my now wife of 29 years, I asked her to go target shooting with me. She had never so much as seen a gun, but she was game. I wanted to figure out if it was going to work from the get go. 31 years later (we got married 2 years after me met) she's never picked up another firearm, but supports my hobby.

We have a deal. I don't make her go to the range with me and she doesn't make me go to Bunco parties with her!

 

[Baba Louie]

Anyone else ever find themselves in a similar situation?

Thank the Great Goddess in the Sky, no! I am amazed that each and every significant female I have befriended has been extremely interested in joining me in the shooting sports, with the latest being a Black belted (Aikido) martial artist who had her own HK USPc before I ever became enamoured with her charm.

Swords, sticks or guns, hiking, skiing, cameras, dogs, architecture, reading, travel... she is a formidable wonder to behold and a great friend. Not to mention she's one heck of a Structural Engineer.

I am soooo lucky.

 

[bruss01]

There is a slight chance we’ll get back together

That's a way of saying "she's prettier than I am smart" that I hadn't heard before.

Have fun!

 

[biscuitninja]

Quote : Thank the Great Goddess in the Sky, no! I am amazed that each and every significant female I have befriended has been extremely interested in joining me in the shooting sports, with the latest being a Black belted (Aikido) martial artist who had her own HK USPc before I ever became enamoured with her charm.

Swords, sticks or guns, hiking, skiing, cameras, dogs, architecture, reading, travel... she is a formidable wonder to behold and a great friend. Not to mention she's one heck of a Structural Engineer.

I am soooo lucky. :


You lucky bastard! I knew I was lucky when my chemist wife was mixing up a batch of mild pyrotechnics (in the kitchen no less) for the 4th of july (sparklers). I asked if she could mix up something a little more exciting.... Unfortunately some women just won't do things that are good for me!
I'm lucky though that my wife loves my dance hobby (guns and race cars are a no go, though).
good luck
-bix

 

[Drifting Fate]

If you feel "free", then breaking up was the right choice.

It's not that I'd chose "guns" over my true soulmate, it's that my true soulmate would never expect me to get rid of my guns. In fact, a true soulmate would expect me to have guns in the home so that I could defend her and children that came along.

 

[glennfish]

My wife declared me obsessed until she picked out an S&W 642 for her own. Then SHE dragged ME to the CCW class. Now SHE wants to go to the range weekly and send a few hundred rounds down range. What really annoys me is she's just a natural at this stuff. I remember watching her, and a crowd of guys watch her do a 2" group at 25 feet with her S&W. I can't even do that with a scoped 10/22. :banghead:

I guess it's time to learn reloading so I can afford HER hobby

 

[MillCreek]

I have to remember that 'why do we need another jewelry' line. This could come in handy.

 

[kentucky bucky]

I could never have married a person that was anti-gun. It is hard enough to make marriage work with someone you agree with on everything. Guns are a big part of my life and I would eventually (when the honeymoon was over) resent being deprived of my hobbys and basic rights.

 

[BikerRN]

When I first met my wife she would point at one of my guns and say something like, "Move that thing please," if she wanted it relocated in the house.

Now she just picks it up and moves it. Shooting still doesn't "do anything" for her, but she at least has gotten over her irrational fears about guns. BTW, I tell her what I want to buy and then I go buy it when we have the money. She does the same with me. We don't deny each other anything, just have to save for it. She knows what I want next.

BikerRN

 

[dmftoy1]

Yes my firearm habit has cost me a few girlfriends.

Funny, when I read that I immediately thought: "My girlfriend habit cost me quite a few guns."

In my younger days I was so poor that I had to sell off my guns to take my girlfriends out on dates, etc. I really wish I had just skipped the majority of those dates and kept the guns.

My beautiful wonderful wife was pretty leary about firearms, but once I started using shooting time to bond with my daughter she became much more accepting, now she thinks nothing of seeing a K98 leaning against the wall in my office in prepartion for the day's coffee break.

Have a good one,
Dave

 

[goon]

I'm pretty fortunate.
My GF is all for guns and even a little enthusiastic about learning about them (at times).
But she is far more practical than I am. About the only objections I could see her having to a gun would be if it was a duplicate.
I like the idea of redundancy - if your primary CCW gets broken you just go withdraw another one from the gun cabinet. Same manual of arms, same ammo and mags, same holster.
She thought that was kind of unnecessary - if your Glock 19 quits working you just carry your Commander until the Glock gets fixed. Why have that money tied up in a gun you already have if you can have variety?
So we compromised on that one - for my collection I can buy whatever guns I want and when she starts her collection she doesn't need to have any duplicates in it.
Perfect.

But as far as ideology goes she's all for gun ownership. She understands that it's easy for a woman to get victimized and has expressed interest in getting a handgun and becoming proficient with it. She was a little uptight about my CCW at first but she's also OK with that now. It also helps that she'd have to pat me down to find it.

One thing though - I was straight with her from the beginning. Within about two dates we were going to the range. IIRC, she suggested it when she found out I own guns. My .22 rifle was the first gun she ever fired. She knows my political and ideological points of view and is accepting of them and shares many of them.
And she knows that if someone tries to harm her when she's with me they'll have to fight their way through a hail of copper-jacketed lead to do it.
Eventually we'll get the point where I won't have to be there for that to happen. I'm hoping that a small revolver that will fit in her purse is in the not too distant future.

IMO, if your GF wasn't accepting of you as you are then you're better off without her. Whether it's guns, fishing, sports, whatever... if they want to change you then you'd both be better off finding someone else.

Its just a matter of mutual respect.
I also think that if you get back together with her when you know that she is still going to try to control you, well you kind of deserve what you get.

 

[Conqueror]

My girlfriend says, of my cigars and my guns, "you liked them before you liked me, so who am I to change you?"

That's why I love her.

 

[Kind of Blued]

This is all making me a little more sure that the woman I've been seeing off and on since high school should probably be the woman that I marry. I know that's what she wants, it's just taking some time for me to figure it out.

 

[10 Ring Tao]

Was dating a girl for several months and becoming very fond of her...until I tried to get her to participate in my favorite hobby. We were standing in front of my open safe, and I wanted to show her some guns I thought she'd enjoy shooting. She flat out refused to touch any of them. Wouldn't hold one, wouldn't even lay a finger on one.

Thing is, every time I would come to her place, I would take my phone and keys out of my pocket, set them on the counter, and next to them would always go the holstered pistol from my belt. Never not once did she react negatively when I did that.

I got rid of her not long after that. I just couldn't see myself with a girl who could react like that to inoperable inanimate objects.

The current girlie jumped headfirst into shooting with me, and loved every minute of our third date, especially the parts where she got to shoot silenced fullatuo uzis and full auto 5.56 HK rifles. I'll keep her.

 

[MachIVshooter]

Like I said before, I really feel for you guys who's better halves aren't shooters. But as promised, I'm gonna pour salt in the wound





It was windy as hell today, but we still managed a couple hours on the range. At this point, it seems as though I'm committed to getting her either a stainless Baby Eagle .45 or a Kimber Eclipse pro, plus whatever she deciides for a CCW. She handled my new S&W 4516 like a pro (though she's not fond of the sharp recoil with the PF9).

 

[Baba Louie]

MachIV,
Show her how much you care for her by buying GF her own safety glasses, and electronic hearing protectors, eh?

 

[Kingcreek]

My ex wasn't anti-gun. When she left she took most of the good ones.
I wouldn't mind getting a couple of them back (that beautiful old 20g 870 wingmaster!) but I never want to see her again.
My current wife of 17 years has little interest in firearms but is proficient with her Colt .38 diamondback and the old .243 model 70. We have no conflicts over gun buying or ownership or much of anything else. We almost never have a disagreement.

 

[hso]

Why would you get deeply involved with someone that doesn't share some of your interests and is accepting of those they don't share? How do you build a relationship when you don't have that much in common? As life changes, and it does as we grow and change over the years, you keep communicating and sharing those interests and concerns and there are fewer surprises.

Make good choices about the people that are your friends and these problems don't get to the breaking point.

BTW, I wasn't particularly "into" guns when my wife and I first met or the first couple of years we were married. I had a couple and she knew and didn't think anything of it. She didn't shoot and I only shot occasionally. We spent our money on whitewater kayaking and on scuba diving and backpacking. When the AWB reared it's ugly head it was one of the topics we discussed. She's a medical professional and I'm a Safety professional. Neither of us could find a public safety reason for all the political vitriol so we became more interested in RKBA and shooting. We both have carry permits, attend defensive pistol and carbine courses and have our own EBRs and carry guns along with target guns. Keep the lines of communication open at every stage.

 

[Koos Custodiet]

Pffft

My g/f [1] knows I have a lot more into her [2] than I have into guns.

She was ignorant-anti when I met her, but she's a bright cookie and the facts are on our side, so she's now very pro-gun and anti-dip*****-politicos.

My girlfriend says, of my cigars and my guns, "you liked them before you liked me, so who am I to change you?"

My g/f liked women before she liked me and I sure as h*ll ain't gonna try change that )))

[1] OK, so we've been married a while, she's still my g/f

[2] Money, OK?

 

[learningman]

Where I grew up the girls just new that every guy had a gun. It was Montana and hunting season is never that far away. I finnally meet a girl and married her and we have been together for just shy of 9 years now. She was not into guns at all but accepted the fact that I was and we got along great. Since moving here to Boise and seeing the crime rate keep going up she has begun to see the reason for having a means of defending one's self and their home. And has even told me that she feels safer knowing that I am as ready to defend out home as much as possible. I am still working on getting her to the range.

 

[tinygnat219]

I have been lucky. My spouse of 6 plus years doesn't really care for guns. She has said as long as I don't drive us into bankruptcy she's just quiet about her uninterest in firearms.

Well, except her .22 rifle. She doesn't like me to touch it, screw with it, etc. b/c it's her rifle.
It's an older beatup Ted Williams tube fed semiauto built by Winchester for Sears. It shoots like a top and is just fun to blast away with. She wasn't happy when I took it squirrel hunting.

 

[MachIVshooter]

Show her how much you care for her by buying GF her own safety glasses, and electronic hearing protectors, eh?

Because she's an adult who prefers ear plugs to muffs and didn't want glasses while firing the AR, OK dad?