bdickens
Member
"No" is the most important word in the English language.
Failure in Situational awareness
- Thread starter ZeeM
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Too bad parents and teachers are not allowed to use it, or just won't use it enough anymore. When we say "no" now, people seem stunned by it.
Trunk Monkey
member
I've told this story before but many many years ago I worked in a group home for troubled kids.
One night during dinner I was having a conversation with one of the kids when another kid asked me a question. I turned to answer the other kid and the first one, feeling disrespected, bounced her Melemene dinner plate off my forehead. That was the beginning of my journey of learning situational awareness.
I also worked in a mental health facility for almost a year. That was an environment where one minute a patient was fine and the next he decided that you were the Antichrist and you had to die. That only has to happen a couple of times before you really start paying attention to what's going on around you.
I honestly don't know if you can teach somebody situational awareness any other way than by putting them in a position where they have to pay attention to what's going on around them or they're going to have to suffer actual consequences.
One night during dinner I was having a conversation with one of the kids when another kid asked me a question. I turned to answer the other kid and the first one, feeling disrespected, bounced her Melemene dinner plate off my forehead. That was the beginning of my journey of learning situational awareness.
I also worked in a mental health facility for almost a year. That was an environment where one minute a patient was fine and the next he decided that you were the Antichrist and you had to die. That only has to happen a couple of times before you really start paying attention to what's going on around you.
I honestly don't know if you can teach somebody situational awareness any other way than by putting them in a position where they have to pay attention to what's going on around them or they're going to have to suffer actual consequences.
Another dodge, for those who have trouble saying “no,” is this: The international form of “Hello” is pronounced something like “Allo.” When asked a question that one would rather not answer, pretend to be a friendly non-English speaker, by saying “Allo” with a smile, while continuing to briskly move along. Obviously, this works better in cities, than in small towns.
entropy
Member
I've found about one second of looking at them (I've been told I have an 'intense stare') usually send the message "I see you. I know what you are, and I'm not going to interact with you." Less than that shows inattention, more than that is sometimes seen as a challenge.
theotherwaldo
Member
I'm a public librarian on the border with Mexico.
My days are filled with assisting all kinds of folks, including transients and the homeless.
Having been homeless and a transient, I feel that I must help those that need help but without allowing myself to become a victim.
Situational awareness is a must.
It's a bad idea for me to run - too much bone and joint damage, by the way.
My days are filled with assisting all kinds of folks, including transients and the homeless.
Having been homeless and a transient, I feel that I must help those that need help but without allowing myself to become a victim.
Situational awareness is a must.
It's a bad idea for me to run - too much bone and joint damage, by the way.
Hangingrock
Member
Apparently there are no good Samaritans among us. There are those among us that will need assistance/help that will be left to their situation that may result loss of life. Tough bunch here!
bdickens
Member
Someone who genuinely needs assistance behaves in quite a different manner than one who is trying to set you up
Trunk Monkey
member
I work around homeless people all the time. I see what they're like when they're not panhandling for money (on their best behavior).
This is the best example I can give of the point I'm trying to make. I stopped at a convenience store one night to gas up the company car. I went into the store for a receipt, when I walked out I encountered a homeless black guy. He politely asked me for a ride somewhere. I wouldn't let someone I don't know in my car and with the company car the policy was no passengers regardless.
So I told the guy "Sorry, I'm not allowed to carry passengers." As soon as I said it the guy went absolutely BALLISTIC on me. He started screaming that I was a racist prick who had no regard for black people.
That's how most of the homeless people I encounter are. As long as they can get something from you they're nice, once you're of no use you see the real face.
I've said this before but a "coworker" (in the sense that we worked for the same national company) was murdered by a homeless person at the Denver Center for the Preforming Arts when he asked the guy to leave private property. The guy cut his throat and stabbed him to death then took the security badge off his uniform as a souvenir.
I have never ran into to a homeless person who was unarmed. I've also never run into one who didn't live by conning people. They live by lying to people and I watch them switch from one lie to another right in the middle of a story. I had one try to tell me that he was on my property in the middle of the night because he heard a car alarm several blocks away and thought my employer might do security for wherever the car was and he should report it to me. Because I'm supposed to believe he walked several blocks to find me specifically so he could report the car?
When the police clean up homeless camps in Colorado Springs they routinely find dogs that have been reported missing (panhandlers with animals make more money). They don't care how heartbroken your kids are over losing fluffy if they want the dog they'll take it.
Bottom line, as I said earlier, I have zero use for homeless people I exercise extreme caution everytime I interact with one and I NEVER turn my back on them.
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wiscoaster
Member
I've noticed that most people aren't really too aware of what's going on around them, so I have to assume this is a learned trait, not a natural one. Focus is a good thing, but you need to learn to discriminate when focus is appropriate and when it's not. It's usually not all that necessary to the task at hand when the task is a routine one. Being in a state of no focus and no awareness at the same is simply a state of mental laziness. All too easy to fall into unless you practice being otherwise. They say we don't use more than 10% of our mental capacity, and I believe it.
It is an UNLEARNED trait, and it has occurred only over the last 100 years or so.
My Mom’s Dad was acutely aware of EVERYTHING around him, even when he was 85 years old when I knew him. In 1917 he was working a construction job building a bridge 9 miles from town. On Sunday, his only day off, he would walk to town to take my future grandmother to a Sunday afternoon movie. And then walk back. 18 miles round trip for a MOVIE and two hours with her.
We have become big, slow, unaware jelly donuts over the last 100 years.
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wiscoaster
Member
Ya, no kidding. Just look at the kids these days.
I help folks quite often. It is a very Biblical thing to do. The topic of this thread is situational awareness. I am situationally aware, when I help others. I understand that some I have helped, did not “deserve” the help, but that is between them, and their Creator.
This topic is about someone asking me/us for the time, when everything about their body language is saying that they know exactly what time it is, without having to look at any watch.
danmc
Member
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There’s a reason most are homeless- not even their families can deal with them anymore- unfortunate, but true
her
When one is out jogging alone, one should be very wary about letting anyone approach too closely, or getting too close to anyone.
Why would a hobo need to know the time? Lol.
As a segue to, ''do you have XXX?'' Traditionally money, tobacco. Start big, work down.
As a segue to, ''do you have XXX?'' Traditionally money, tobacco. Start big, work down.
Been there-done that- but, U forgot the 3rd switch to, ''I don't know you.'' Took me a while to realize, most really couldn't recollect it (telling the truth, from their perspective)
Hangingrock
Member
I've dealt with all types of personalities in my life from the indigent to the wealthy. With that said I have no illusions. There are those that I can help and there those that I can not help. Along the way we've had interactions with the not so law abiding elements of society. One example would be at a Walmart parking lot, an individual walking around with a broken V-Belt asking people for money so he could purchase a new V-Belt for his automobile. Handing out blankets to the homeless during the colder months of the year. When you interact with differing elements of society, you can read them with in reason.
Trunk Monkey
member
rbernie
Contributing Member
Having faith in your situational awareness (based on training and observation / analysis) is good. Recognizing the gaps / lapses in that ability, and avoiding those circumstances that expose that gap is also good. Lacking in situational awareness and blundering about anyway is not a recipe for success, nor is letting your confidence in your S/A skills write a check that your butt may not want to cash. And on the flip side of that - avoiding contact with other humans is likely to improve your survival odds, but may also impoverish other areas of your life. It's all a balance of probability and consequence.
When I frequented areas in which I was potentially gonna be bumrushed, I took to carrying trinkets that were currency in the homeless community - a pack of cigarettes, for example. It was a mitigation strategy, in the event that my S/A failed me or my risk avoidance likewise failed.
Howland937
Member
Years ago, after coming out of a department store, I unlocked my vehicle and turned to get my son (who was about 2) out of the cart. A guy who had apparently followed me was standing between me and the cart my son was in. He started with his story of woe and I reached into my pocket and grabbed the first bill my fingers met. Handed him the $10 and asked him to move from between me and my son.
I felt incredibly stupid for being caught in that situation, and incredibly angry at the person for approaching the way he did. After my son was secured in the vehicle, I politely explained to the guy that it was probably bad practice to walk up to a stranger and stand between them and their child. He seemed understanding, but who knows?
Given the circumstances, I did what I felt was best even though it wasn't what I wanted to do. My frustrations didn't cause me to put my kid in more danger which woulda made things even worse.
I've never regretted handing over the 10 bucks, but I definitely learned some things.
I felt incredibly stupid for being caught in that situation, and incredibly angry at the person for approaching the way he did. After my son was secured in the vehicle, I politely explained to the guy that it was probably bad practice to walk up to a stranger and stand between them and their child. He seemed understanding, but who knows?
Given the circumstances, I did what I felt was best even though it wasn't what I wanted to do. My frustrations didn't cause me to put my kid in more danger which woulda made things even worse.
I've never regretted handing over the 10 bucks, but I definitely learned some things.
First, maintain distance. Second, develop a plan to evade if he attempts to close the distance.
When one actually sees and recognizes a potential threat at a distance, getting closer is not a failure of situational awareness; it is a failure to avoid a potential threat of which one is aware.
Situational awareness involves noticing, observing, and assessing things around us.
When we pull into a store parking lot, we should not fail to notice the man who watches us as we enter. We should observe any actions his actions that he may take as we go by. Suppose he pulls a cell phone and starts talking , while watching us. Perfectly innocent? Probably. But we need to also notice the other man standing by a pickup. We need to observe his answering his cell phone. We need to assess the situation, and decide whether they may be observing and talking about us.
If so--we are situationally aware of a potential threat.
The thing to do then is drive elsewhere and avoid the threat,
Homeless or well dressed, I generally avoid people when there aren't several other people around. It is those good looking ones with heaving cleavage that always seem to make it past my defenses... who are probably the most dangerous of all!
I remember a photo in one of the first editions of Calibre Press's Street Survival book that was this exact scenario, a well endowed young lady in a low cut top......pointing a stainless steel revolver at the camera.
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