I always figured that, "If it's too weak to penetrate the walls, then it probably won't do what I want it to do when it lands where I want it to."
LL has it IMHO. Know your target, your field of fire, and your gun.
I just obtained a 870 P vintage 1984 that the smith put a short stock on. I made some homemade spacers for it and took it to the range today for 100 hulls. Never looked at the bead, and hit everything I shot at. Thanks to Dave McCraken and many others here, I've learned a thing or two. One of them is the joy of shooting a shotgun that actually fits me. Feels good and looks good. Having a well fitting gun makes for better accuracy I think.
If I miss with a 9mm or .45, I'm thinking it will have similar if not worse results than if I miss with low recoil buck shot. I prefer buck, and have heard people tell me bird shot is better for HD. I just disagree. If you want to go with bird, then it's your choice. We all have different needs, and different circumstances. Only you can decide what's best for you.
Like the man says, BAUUR.
Think software more than hardware.