Anger and guns

What is "DEP?" I was in the Army so many years ago my issue weapon was the late, great, M1 Garand and I am not familiar with all these present day military acronyms.

Thanks.

L.W.

The army, in it's never-ending generosity, allows people to sign up, get their physical, and be assigned a report date weeks or months in the future. I'm sure this is all for the convenience of the soldier, and has nothing at all to do with the scheduling and budgeting needs of the army, because you know, they are nice like that.

"Delayed entry program"

Biggest point I have seen made is to take action. You can't move mountains by sitting on one. I would agree on getting the guns to a safe storage location, or at least in a safe or in a wad of heavy welded chain with a padlock keeping the gun from being potentially used against you or your grandma. Make some phone calls to local pd and advise them on your concerns so that they are prepared for next time when they need to show up. The recruiter may or may not get you out of that situation quickly but made damned sure your grandma is safe before you leave. If something were to happen you would blame yourself for walking away and letting "it" happen, whatever "it" may be. Guilt ruins lives just like other things, so take care of that sweet lady and be proactive for when your not there anymore.

MLJDECKARD - "Delayed entry program"

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Thank you.

L.W.

mljdeckard said:

When you are armed, the rules change. No more trash-talking, saving face, etc. You hold a higher level of responsibility, and with that, greater responsibility to keep your temper, bite it off, and walk away. Looking like a fool if necessary. They will never know that the reason you are walking away is because you can instantly escalate to deadly force and they aren't worth it. This is the discipline.

As you get older this distinction gets clearer, the things that aren't really worth arguing over after all.

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This is it in a nut shell. The owner of the salvage yard I work at is constantly amazed at how I handle the bum holes of the world and never loose my temper. No matter what they say or how they say it. His brother said something about it to me this last week after a customer offered to do some not so nice things to me in a not very polite way. I had to explain to him that when you choose to carry a side arm every day, you loose the option to prove your manhood in situations like that. You are obligated to do every thing in your power to de escalate the situation. Because once the gun come into play there is no going back. And you had best be in the right. Either way you will live with the consequences for the rest of your life.

You prove your manhood by being smarter and in more control of your self than the other guy. At the end of the day words are just that. They leave no lasting injury unless you allow them to.

And as others have pointed out alcoholics don't reason. They often time have no concept of backing down or allowing you to. You are in a bad situation and can only fix it by removing one of you. If he is willing to accept help, help him if not, the best thing you can do is leave him until he is willing to get help.

Get out, no matter what you have to do get out. It "may" be solved temporarily but unless he stops drinking it'll always be an issue if he's a drunk so it's bound to come back around. Get out and live somewhere else until you ship off for basic and then you'll be away from the problem and you'll have to turn in your firearm to be stored in your company's arms room or store it off post with a buddy.

Lots of people telling you WHAT to do and very few telling you WHY you need to go about doing it, beyond the superficial. Though one or two hinted at it.

The one thing that YOU have control over is YOU. No matter what other people say or do, you have that one, single factor in your favor. You need to understand this, and understand what it means for your future.

When emotions flair and other people are involved, take control of the one factor that YOU own...and that's YOU.

Walk away. Leave. Move out. Physically separate yourself from the problem(s). If there are guns involved as you describe, then separate them from the situtation as well. The danger with respect to drunks and out of control relatives drops off radically with distance.

Work something out with other relatives or friends, if possible, to provide you with a place (or places) to go while you get your act together on living on your own.

You say that this issue is, at least, temporarily resolved. I would emphasize that "temporarily" is the important descriptor with respet to drunks and out of control people. You cannot let your guard down, nor can you take the risk of NOT developing a plan to vacate yourself at the first sign of trouble again. Take this respite as time to work things out in your favor for the long term.


You say your in DEP. This can make your long term solution (moving out and away from these people) easier. Get with your recruiter and see about moving your entry date up. If you're not totally bent on a particular MOD or rating, or the branch of service, then remember that there are OTHER branches of the service that you can go to as well.

Recruiters will bend over backwards to enlist someone: it's their meaning for existance and it's a very performance oriented job. Which means that YOU have something THEY want very much indeed...and that's a desire to enlist as soon as possible.


Life is full of strife and challenges, and it's how we each deal with them that marks our character. When you finally move out on your own, by whatever means, remember that there are plenty of other people like this in the world. Learn now how to handle yourself around these kinds of people and don't let them control you.


I wish you the best of luck!

Sentry, lock up that gun and keep it away from "cuz" at all costs. Get you a cell phone with 911 on speed dial, and carry a can of Fox OC spray at all times. Get a TV for your room and a solid door, avoid interaction with cuz. You've only got a few months until you can get outta there.

As for granny, if cuz gets nasty, hit that 911 and get the law out there. You need to help keep her safe from cuz's moodiness without getting into trouble yourself.

However he continues to talk trash and bad mouth me

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Mama always said to me to go by "sticks & stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me"
Your mileage may vary. You sound like you have the right attitude.

I hope you're safe, and continue!
USNChief has the BEST advice.

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome - to achieve what YOU choose.

I too grew up with sever alcoholism all around me, throughout my childhood and early adult life. I too had firearms, I kept them all out of reach, as in stored at friends houses so they couldn't possibly become involved in the never ending drunken rampage's. I feel for you, and will as well pray for your future recovery from having to live in such conditions.

At every opportunity, remove yourself from that environment, just do what you have to cope for the next few months or until such time you will be free of that situation. Have you tried seeking refuge in a church? Often times and depending on the church, one can find temporary lodging, not to mention spiritual support and guidance. Also, keep reminding yourself that it's only a matter of time before you will be out of that situation and be starting your own life.

And at all cost, avoid letting LE get involved in this situation, it could become a documented event that may effect your future in the armed forces.

God Bless You, and best of luck with your future.

GS