The problem with snubs is that it is hard to get enough velocity to get expansion with standard pressure 38. They also tend to be light weight, so you feel recoil more when you shoot them. I think there are two ways to go here:
- For a night stand gun I would consider a 4 inch barrel. You get meaningfully more velocity (usually enough to get expansion) and the guns are heavier so they soak up more recoil and are easier to shoot while still being easily maneuverable.
- If you are set on a snub, forget expansion. Pick a bullet that is all meplat (DEWC or HBWC) and drive it as fast as you can within pressure limits while still getting good accuracy. I like DEWCs for this because you don't have to worry about blowing skirts off the HBWCs and can drive them as fast as you like within the limits of the cartridge.
When dealing with smaller, more concealable guns, I generally choose to trade off some power for better accuracy and controllability. That lets you get fast follow up shots and the gun is controllable.