From a lady
Okay boys, here's from a gal's experience.
1) A woman CAN make her own choice. But let her shoot as many guns as she can before she actually thinks of buying one. That process alone will help educate her and get her jazzed about guns--or will show you whether or not she's truly interested at all.
2) A woman CAN handle an autoloader. Most of my female friends have had no problems with mine or any other that I've seen. It may be tough during the break-in period, but give her a chance.
3) Men, help your ladies find third-party instruction. Don't drag your ego to the range, let her learn stuff on your own--later on you can share your hobby and your combined knowledge. Make it a sport you can share, not one in which you automatically have the upper hand. She'll respect your experience if you don't shove it down her trachea.
4) Women have their own reasons for picking a gun. I admit that part of my attraction to my firearm of choice is lines, feel, size, thinness, reputation and such. Respect that women are often attracted to things for different reasons. Which is why many of you boys like boobies on your partners and many of us ladies like big strong arms on our men.
5) I love my Kahr P9. I don't carry on a regular basis, but the gun's comfortable enough for me to love taking it to the range weekly. I've worn it holstered and it's concealable enough for me. It's simple enough for me to break down and clean (though I needed some help during the break-in process, as it was pretty tight, like new guns tend to be). It looks and feels delicious in its Little Black Dress (velvety A-grips). I also liked the XD9 and Glock 26 a lot, but felt more comfortable with the Kahr. I thought about the smaller guns (Kel-Tecs, Maks) but for my first purchase, the p9 made the best all-around sense. Later I'll get a pocket gun, and probably a 45, then a shotty and so on...but that's a different story.
Don't force it, respect her attitudes, give her breathing room, and you just might have a shooting buddy for life.