Almost lost my gun rights

[Zach S]

This is the best reason yet for not having a live-in GF.

IMO, its a good reason to have a live-in GF. If he married her, it would have been a lot harder to get rid of her.

I'm currently separated. In the past six months, I've seen my wife three times, and I always make sure there is someone else around when I do for this reason. More often than not, its her family, but do to the circumstances of our separation, I'm still on good terms with my in-laws, and if something were to happen, I trust them to be honest.

 

[jcwit]

Is this a meeting of the He-Man Woman Haters Club?
If it is I have been happily married to my one and only woman for 32 years. It is a lot of give and take. Have a great dog too...Izzie.
I guess I don't qualify to join.

I second rodger, thats why "the both of us "I & my wife" took our vows.
Much more pleasent life this way.

 

[jaholder1971]

Is this a meeting of the He-Man Woman Haters Club?
If it is I have been happily married to my one and only woman for 32 years. It is a lot of give and take. Have a great dog too...Izzie.
I guess I don't qualify to join.

Instead, count your blessings because you're not a member.

I was falsely accused of DV by my mother and brother as retribution for a)not being in town when my father passed away and b) not being a part of my mother and brother manipulation of the rest of the family. I had no guns for a little over a year, being in the possession of a good friend.

Take a good look at your state's domestic violence and PFA order laws. They will scare you. HOw about an instant, albeit temporary, divorce from your wife based on her word alone. BTW, that split is 100/0 in her favor and could be that way for months. No guns, no custody, no visitation. You pay maintenance for her, child support on the kids and also all bills to keep a roof over their heads adn a vehicle even though you're outdoors.

Live in GF, same deal. Even if you own the house you might end up out of it.

All that until a judge has a hearing on whether or not to keep the order permanent for one year. THat hearing could take months.

So yeah, those who have been caught up in this have a bad taste in their mouths.

 

[MachIVshooter]

Is this a meeting of the He-Man Woman Haters Club?

That was not my intention in starting this thread, and I don't think anyone who has replied hates women. Fact is, some of us have been put in very precarious positions by girlfriends and wives that threatened (and in some cases cost) 2A rights.

However, this thread applies equally to both genders. While far less common, a man could make the same accusations of a woman and cost her the same thing if she is charged. Also, both parties can end up charged with DV.

I still plan to find my "one" some day and become happily married and live out my life. For a time, I had thought this was it. But you don't really know someone until you live with them, and once you are living together, the risks go sky high if things sour. That is the point I was trying to make. That even though I'm a very calm, non-violent person, I still had my livelihood jeopordized by a crazy person's untrue claims of being assaulted.

 

[BP44]

I support the live in girlfriend idea, It worked for me and my wife.

Funny, My wife is kinda on the fence about gun/gun rights but I have been down with the flu for a week and yesterday she came home with a gun
"5906" for me. she bought it from her father who lives two hours away.

I love my wife

 

[Country_boy_88]

damn glad it worked out for you.

Women are crazy. Just gotta find the one thats the least craziest ha ha

 

[wacki]

Has she been charged with filing false reports yet
Not as far as I know, and I have no intention of pushing for it. The situation was ugly enough as is. The Sheriff's office out here is very pragmatic, and are more interested in simply seeing a situation get resolved peacefully than in throwing everybody in jail, which tends to exacerbate hostility between parties. Ergo, I wouldn't think they'll pursue anything in that respect. That said, I'm sure they told her to knock it off.

You owe it to every other truth telling citizen to create some sort of paper trail of her shenanigans. The next 'good guy' may not be as lucky as you are. I'm not saying you need to file charges, just that you need to create some sort of paper trail that will show up if someone else gets in a court battle with her.

 

[MachIVshooter]

You owe it to every other truth telling citizen to create some sort of paper trail of her shenanigans. The next 'good guy' may not be as lucky as you are. I'm not saying you need to file charges, just that you need to create some sort of paper trail that will show up if someone else gets in a court battle with her.

It's all on the record, and may come into play later on. But given that, unless she follows through on her threat, she is still carrying my child, I don't need to make her life any more stressful or add to the already thick animosity here. It's not just about her and I. I'm already faced with the possibility of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, as I'm just finding out how much she was drinking the last 3 months. She's gonna be really PO'd when I tell her to have that testing done voluntarily or by court order if she refuses.

I hear what you're saying, and I wish I could help others preserve their 2A rights and way of life by making a case-law type example out of this. But creating further stress in her life is not in the best interest of my already-imperiled unborn child.

 

[12131]

Nevermind. Since there are always 2 sides to every argument/fight, I'll stay out of this. Sorry.

 

[RobNDenver]

Get an attorney

Dear MachIVShooter;

Good luck with this. I truly mean that. Now, **** about it in public forum. Retain an attorney, and the next time that you must speak to the police, or the ex girlfriend or any of her friends, do so with your lawyer present or have your counsel communicate in your behalf.

You dodged a bullet initially, since you had a friend with a voice recorder who captured the contact that could have gotten you locked up. Don't take another chance with this. You will spend far less money on an attorney who is a specialist in domestic relations than you will if you have to defend yourself from baseless accusations. You may very well need to apply for a protective order. You will not get sound, impartial advice from the Sheriff's Office or the District Attorney's office in your community, but you will from your own counsel, who will tell you to cease any posting about what is going on, since it, along with emails on your computer and other communications including text messages may be seized and used against you as this little problem grows into a larger one.

This internet forum can't affect your wellbeing, other than by offering you moral support, and the details of your situation can't help anyone here if they end up in a similar predicament with a crazy ex-girlfriend.

Best wishes.

 

[Erik M]

Kentucky State Law: If a domestic violence order (for example, an EPO) is issued by a court against a license holder, the license holder must surrender the license to the court or to the law enforcement officer who serves the order. The court will explain how and when the license will be returned.


You dont even have to do anything, someone could go to the sheriff's office and file a restraining order on you under false pretenses and cause your license to be revoked for a period of time. You wouldnt even know anything about it until and LEO is at your door serving you.

 

[MachIVshooter]

RobNDenver-

I appreciate your well wishes and advice. But with all due respect, I didn't post this thread seeking support or advice of any kind. Simply using my recent incident to illustrate something that all people, especially gun owners, need to be very wary of. You hear these kinds of horror stories and think it can never happen to you, because you're just too smart, too careful, too calm, etc. That's what I thought. But who I was and how I behaved made no difference when she decided she wanted me in cuffs and concocted a story to accomplish that. My unwillingness to physically engage her did not prevent her from lying and saying that I did.

Hopefully no one here ever has to go through something like this. But if faced with it, perhaps they'll remember tidbits I mentioned that made the difference between my life continuing quasi-normal vs. being substantially negatively impacted.

I think it's safe to say that all of us here value our 2A rights and our freedom. In a situation like mine, keeping your cool and being smart enough to not walk into a trap and always have witnesses is critical to keeping those things.

 

[pyle]

I can tell you from experience that you don't really know someone until you divorce them.

Been married almost 13 years now and I've never heard that one. Never been divorced either, but that line is classic. One I'll certainly remember.

As to the OP, thanks for the great post. There are so many pitfalls that can deprive us of our gun rights, a person can't be too careful. I'm most appreciative of you sharing your experience.

 

[Alex23]

You hear these kinds of horror stories and think it can never happen to you, because you're just too smart, too careful, too calm, etc. That's what I thought.

Funny, when I did my CHL the instructor stressed this point again and again.

Crazy boyfriend / girlfriend = serious threat to your firearms ownership for a period of time.

 

[MachIVshooter]

Oh, and one other thing that definitely helped keep the situation smooth and calm:

It was out of concern of theft that I did it, but the responding officers greatly appreciated that I had secured all firearms in the house under lock and key, except my CCW, which I had left in my car both times once I arrived at the property. Police officers know they're walking into a potentially very dangerous situation when they may have to detain an individual who may be armed, so not having to contend with that risk meant that they could focus on the situation without worrying for their own and fellow officers or bystanders safety.

As well, when they did want to frisk me, I complied fully, instead of spewing the "I have a right, this is my property, tell me why you want to search me" nonsense that I have occasionally seen people recommend on here when the discussion turns to traffic stops and other incidences where an officer may inquire about a citizen being armed.

Telling the truth and being easy to deal with goes a long way with LEO's.

 

[pyle]

Funny, when I did my CHL the instructor stressed this point again and again.

Crazy boyfriend / girlfriend = serious threat to your firearms ownership for a period of time.

To the best of my recollection (it's been over 10 years), my instructor didn't mention this.

However, he did emphasize that we be careful who we ride with and who we allow to ride with us. The example used was being careful if you take a ride with someone you don't know very well. For example, the contents of that person's car and your legally carried firearm could cause unexpected problems...

 

[KevinR]

Ya any kind of violent crime = no more guns of any kind. Good for you it turned out like it did.

 

[Alex23]

To the best of my recollection (it's been over 10 years), my instructor didn't mention this.

However, he did emphasize that we be careful who we ride with and who we allow to ride with us. The example used was being careful if you take a ride with someone you don't know very well. For example, the contents of that person's car and your legally carried firearm could cause unexpected problems...

Every state has different laws. Here, with any kind of domestic dispute that goes to court or divorce proceedings his/her lawyer will get a restraining order and that will involve seizing your guns until the complaint is resolved.

That is worst case scenario in my opinion. If your divorce is amicable it is unlikely that it would go that way.

But if you are a CHL holder and you have an ugly dispute, you should expect to have your guns taken from you.

 

[alemonkey]

Wow, I'm glad my wife is sane.

 

[RobNDenver]

MachIV. . . My point, is that this is simply the beginning of a very difficult, and potentially dangerous (figuratively and literally) chapter in your life. I believe that I read that you may be involved in a custody matter with the ex-girlfriend. Anything you say, can and will be dredged up, in the light most damaging to you by your ex. Expect it, and protect yourself with an attorney now, before the salvo arrives. LEO's appreciate those who tell the truth, but remember they (we) are bureaucrats with guns and may be misled by your ex. Stop posting on a gun forum and get yourself some legal advice about the custody issue, the fetal alcohol syndrome, the prospect that you may need a protective order to restrain ex girlfriend and the next boyfriend that she brings into the picture.

Good luck.

 

[wobble]

Thanks for the post man. It just makes me glad I'm not in a redneck relationship.

 

[MachIVshooter]

It just makes me glad I'm not in a redneck relationship.

"Redneck" is not a prerequisite to this kind of thing, my friend. I don't think you mean for that to be offensive, and I'm not going to take it as such. I'm nowhere near being white trash or redneck, and don't think that just because most of the "COPS" episodes involving DV seem to be filmed in trailer parks means that you or anyone else is immune. Living in an affluent community and being college educated has no bearing on what can happen to you if you wind up accused of DV, especially if the police decide to arrest and charge you. My mother was a volunteer with victims assistance in a very well-to-do *cough*Highlands Ranch*cough* area, and the number of these calls she was sent to was astronomical. Incidentally, the frequency with which there really was violence was quite high, and she had more than one where the female turned out to be the assailant.

Don't miss the point of my sharing this. It can and does happen anywhere and everywhere to people on all ends of the political, intellectual and income spectrum.

 

[dec41971]

Thanks for the post man. It just makes me glad I'm not in a redneck relationship.

Wow easy there; kind of insulting there don't ya think? Anyway this one really made me kuckle. Made my night.

 

[makarovnik]

Good for you having witnesses and keeping your cool. Yes, the domestic violence thing can be unfair sometimes.

If you are single I strongly advise against any roommates male or female. Things just get messy sometimes. It's best to have a retreat and it helps keep things separate.

I hope I'm wrong but I doubt your troubles with her are over. Look for a restraining order to be served next.

My lawyer advises against it but then again they give you advice that usually benefits them more than it does you. In my area the temporary restraining order cannot be "drop served" and if you don't allow yourself to be served the restraining order cannot go into effect.

I could have saved myself about $1000+ had I told my wife to make sure not to answer the door. She answered the door and I got served. Thank God I was able to have the restraining order dropped but it cost me.

Good luck to you, keep cool, be prepared and don't have anymore contact with that naughty girl.

P.S. Once my ex wife asked for my checkbook and I didn't get it back until seven years later when were separated.

 

[2000Yards]

Thanks for the post man. It just makes me glad I'm not in a redneck relationship.

Interesting stereotype. Do you believe this only happens in "redneck relationships?"

Gun (and other) rights can be lost at any rung on the socio-economic ladder due to lies and false witness. DV is also present, as another poster pointed out, all over the place.