awoke last night. . .

[The-Fly]

about 9 months ago, my former roommate's dog, who is normally very quiet, rips a pretty loud bark at about 5am (and neither of us are morning people). I went from a dead sleep to 870 shouldered, safety off, in about 3 seconds flat i think. Roommate was up too shortly afterwards, giving me the "what the hell is the dog alerting to?" look.

I cleared the apartment, and nothing was astray, so I guess it was just a person walking outside, but still a tad unnerving. The good thing was, it reassured me of my ability to wake and deal with the unexpected if need be.

 

[Fulcrum of Evil]

Careful with the microphones if you record - apparently some states consider surveillance with audio wiretapping. No audio and you're fine. I have also heard that B/W video makes it easier to identify people.

 

[230RN]

I live on the second floor of an apartment. I happened to be reading one quiet night around 3AM when a very loud irregular sequence of banging noises occured and scared the Hm-hm out of me.

Sounded lke someone was trying to get in one of the ground-level apartments, in an unlit area behind the building, right under my place.

Coat over jammies, explored with flashlight and .357, being well aware that others might be checking it out, too, so kept the flashlight on, bouncing the light off the ground to see if any windows or doors had been tampered with.

Found no signs of anything. Brow wrinkled, lips pursed, went back to my place, cleaned mud and snow off my slippers.

The next day, I was standing on my balcony when the noise occured again, right next to me. Jumped a foot. Partially-melted ice falling down the rain gutter downspouts.

Mystery solved. Phew!

 

[thegriz]

Bad dog

Last night I heard breaking glass, clattering, and a door creaking. A few moments later our family dog was staring at the muzzle of my pistol.

The kids left out a plate with a couple pizza rolls. She knocked it off the table and one of them shot behind the open utility room door. She shoved the door out of the way to get it.

Nobody else even woke up so it was a big non-event for the family. We've had many break-ins in our neighborhood in the last 2 weeks so I thought it might be the real deal.

 

[sb350hp]

Woodpeckers at the break of dawn on my metal gutters. One or two days of that and I took care of the problem.

 

[TimboKhan]

I am a really heavy sleeper, but I find that my tolerance for wierd sounds is just about zero. My roommate isn't particularly loud, but he usually is up earlier than me and I never wake up from him banging around or turning on the TV downstairs or whatever. However, the slightest little brush against my door and my eyes pop open like a cat on meth. When I was in the USMC, I was always amazed at how I could sleep like a corpse normally, but the second we were in a bad place (Somalia or Saudi) I was the lightest sleeper ever born...

 

[sharkhunter2018]

im a heavy sleeper, but noises that are not of the norm in the house wake me up in an instant. about 30 min ago, i heard a plastic bag full of empty soda cans being shook up. having 4 dogs in the house at the moment, i figured one of em was up to no good. i go up (my room is in the basement) to investigate (AK in hand, just incase), none ofthe dogs are in the kitchen, in fact all are on the opposite end of the house. standing there looking around i hear a sound behind me in the dinning room which sounded like someone flicking their finger on a drinking glass. there is nothing around. there are things in this house that do literally go bump in the night. been times where it souded like a dresser had some how tipped over n fallen, only to find nothing wrong and no one is there. things i cant explain really

 

[FieroCDSP]

I live in a semi(as in half-a**ed) renovated 1869 house. There are all kinda of things that creak or make other noises. I was up late one night, playing the playstation, and heard this sort of creak/groan, seemingly at regular intervals. Almost sounded like a really low-pitched buzzer, or a stereo-typical creak of a wooden ship. It bugged me because there was no one else home, and it sounded like someone was walking and creaking a floorboard. I finally figured it out when I heard it the next morning around 10. It was the expansion of the tin roof. It would expand in the sunlight in the morning, and take it's time contracting in the evening (in summer).

The really frightening one was when everyone else was out for two days and I'm sitting on the comp, and I hear a loud crash/thud downstairs. Sigma 40 in hand, I carefully crept down the stairs and started clearing rooms. Darn cats had knocked over a some stuff from a low shelf in the dining room.

We get weird echos on our street. It's on a hill, the houses are close together, and it's a main street. Every time someone slams a car door, it sounds like they're slamming against the house. City life can drive you nuts.

 

[Neocode]

I cleared the house the other night myself... my wife heard a bang she said sounded like a gunshot... and I had sorta heard something in my sleep. So I cleared the house, and checked out the windows to make sure no one was around. It's an apt. complex but usually very quiet at night, so this was a bit odd.

Saw nothing though, so back to bed.

 

[OBXMIKE]

Week before Christmas two years ago, my wife wakes me up at 0330. There's a noise coming from the kitchen...a 'tink-tink...clatter...something rolls across the floor...' So, I grab the .357, my glasses (blind as a bat) and do the tactical creep to the bedroom door. I flip the kitchen light on with gun at high ready.......nothing. Then as I'm standing there in my 3 am puzzlement, I hear it again....'tink tink, clatter, roll roll.' All of a sudden, I see a green tree ornament ball roll out from under the fridge. Out comes a freakin' MOUSE, grabs the ornament, drags it back to the fridge, tries to pull it under, loses grip, and it rolls back across the floor. Called the wife, said "you ain't gonna believe this..." We watched this go on for a few minutes in disbelief, set out some traps (never caught the little f-er)and went back to bed. Laughing hysterically. We still laugh about our Christmas mouse.

 

[Rey B]

Christmas Mouse?

You should have baited the traps with tiny ornaments. Lived in a couple of old houses and investigated strange noises more than once. Some were easily explained (cat, dog, plumbing) but there have been a few that I still wonder about . The best was the night the dogs were going nuts, way out in the country with a federal prison 20 miles away . My roomate threw on his boots, grabbed a rifle off the rack and went out the door. His wife right behind him with the flashlight and I grabbed a shotgun. The intruder was a possum that was on a very narrow branch. He shot at the possum but since he looked through the scope instead of under it, he shot the branch instead . the possum hit the ground ,the dogs are going nuts, and I am almost on the ground laughing. You see my roomate didn't believe in pajamas or other night-clothes. So all he had on was his boots and my squirrel gun.

 

[CajunBass]

I drew down on a loaf of bread once...

My wife wants your receipe for challah bread. (Whatever that is.)

 

[SoCalShooter]

House gremlins. Everyone has them.

yeah I took care of those.

It's amazing how quick you can go from sound asleep to condition orange when something goes bump in the night!

Ain't that the truth, You go from Defcon 5 to Defcon 1 with all the tacticool stuff loaded up looking for a fight, satellites are linking up in space, National guards been alerted etc and all you find...is nothing.

I hope everyone was wearing their tactical briefs for these episodes cause I know I was.

One night it was raining real hard and the cat decided he was gonna stay outside and then later decide to come back in, since my house has iron bars on the doors and windows (no this is not prison) He decides to jump up on the large iron gate that covers the back sliding glass windows, well this thing moves and shakes a little on its track and the cat apparently started sliding in and out of the bars trying to get someones attention, BANG BANG BANG is what is sounds like when the little bugger does it, well I cleared the upstairs and then headed down only to find that little bugger staring at me through the glass I got him lit up with the flashlight and well covered with my HK. Cat doesnt do that little trick anymore.

 

[heypete]

Two of my married friends (they're married to each other), we'll call them K (female) and C (male) have had some interesting experiences.

C is an Arizona Highway Patrolman, and leaves his cruiser in the "visitor/overflow parking area in their townhouse complex when not on duty. (Amusing story: He originally wanted to park the cruiser in the parking area by their house, and the pickup in the visitor area, but the complex said they'd tow the pickup if that was the case. Now he just parks the cruiser there, and they won't tow it. )

You'd think criminals would know better than to break into a cop's house, particularly when both the husband and wife shoot all the time. But unfortunately, they've had a few run-ins with less-than-savory people who don't seem to understand the concept of "no trespassing".

Amusing Story #1: C is assisting Phoenix metro cops with some fender-bender when he gets a call from K saying the house is being broken into, she's got the Walther P99 and the phone, and is secure in the master bedroom. C glances over at the metro cop, and inquires if he would be so kind as to pay a visit to his home (only a few blocks away) to handle the situation while C finishes up with the traffic incident. The metro cop was amused, and was there in a matter of moments. Bad guy had been fiddling around with the AC unit and trying to force the rear door, but had fled before the police arrived. Moral of the story: It's generally better for you and the police to call 911 rather than your husband if you want a fast police response. Generally.

Amusing Story #2: C and K are in bed, sleeping. It's about two in the morning, when a loud "CRASH!" comes from the 8-inch-wide, 6-foot-tall window that's next to their front door. Both awake instantly, K rolls for the shotgun and covers the bedroom door, while C grabs his Sig and, clad in boxer shorts, peers out from the bedroom door. A half-naked bad guy is stuck in the window, struggling to get in. When confronted with a pistol-mounted light and loud, authoritative commands, he flees. K has the cops on the phone, and they arrive in minutes.

A half-naked man with cuts consistent with being cut by glass is found lurking in the bushes about a hundred feet away. C identifies him as the intruder. He evidently turned on their garden hose and watered their privately owned Crown Victoria and Ford Ranger pickup, as well as the police cruiser and some neighbors cars.

Here's the kicker: He used the "This Home Protected By [Alarm Company]" sign on a stick to smash in the window.

They've since replaced vulnerable windows of that type with some type of beefy glass that doesn't shatter, and is a pain in the ass to break. Not sure what. They had a security door (one of those locking semi-decorative gates with anti-bug screens and anti-bad-guy bars) protecting their front door, so the bad guy evidently took the easy way.

Moral: Good locks aren't everything. Get good glass too, particularly around doors. Also have door locks that require a key on the inside if there's a window anywhere near it.

 

[MilsurpShooter]

Here's one.

Late one night around x-mas, only light on in the house is the tree, and I'm laying in bed with a usual case of insomnia (go to bed at 8:00pm may fall asleep at 3:00am if I'm lucky). My rooms on the ground floor, others are upstairs. Live within a stones throw for a "School for troubled youth" that has made the news once or twice. I'm about half in, half out of sleep when I hear a loud crash and tinkle of broken glass. Trigger lock is off my M48, stripper clip loaded and I'm slowly sweeping from my room into the living room in about 10 seconds. Move slow, spot check on the windows and the front door... Nothing. Work my way to the kitchen and dining room... Nothing. By now the other two people come downstairs wondering what the noise was. Safety goes on the rifle and I just kinda look around wondering what the heck it could have been

"Mew"

Nearly jumped out of my skin as our new kitten jumped on my shoulder followed by a pretty fair amount of rattling noise. Turns out the little guy had climbed up inside the tree and knocked an ornament off in the back close to the wall.

We all shared a pretty good laugh

 

[Turkey Creek]

About ten years ago wife wakes me from a dead sleep asking "Do you hear that?"- Instantly awake I listen and hear a weird scratching sound coming from down the hall- First I check the sleeping attack dog and sure nuff he's so sound asleep I'm not sure he aint dead- Grab the Beretta and down the hall I creep- Half way down the hall sound quits but I go and clear the house and nothing is amiss-

Starting back down the hall to the bedroom as I pass the kids bathroom already checked on the first pass and looking at my wife who is peering around the bedroom corner with that deer in the headlights look, scratching starts and stops- Enter the bathroom where there are no windows I peer around the shower curtain for the second time expecting that Bates guy from Psycho to jump out and start slashing- Nope nothing- As I pass the bathroom closet scratching starts and stops- Now unless the intruder is a dwarf or a leprechaun nothing can be in there since it's all shelves-

Still not knowing what I may encounter, up comes the mini cougar as I ease the closet door open- Into the gaping maw of the 45 stares the two beady eyes of a possum!- The day before we had four furniture movers clear out two rooms of furniture for two carpet layers to do their work- At the same time our next door farmer neighbor decides to brushog the fence line apparently disturbing the afore mentioned intruder-

Now the possom apparently mosies across our front yard, hops up on the porch, enters the foyer and goes about ten feet to the hall and makes a sharp left and an immediate right and then another left to enter the closet- All this while six guys are moving furniture out the front door!-

Figuring this is one cagy critter that deserves mercy and not wanting to blow a hole in the wall, to say nothing of trying to clean possum pieces out of the linens I close the door and put the beretta away- I don heavy jacket, work gloves and prepare to go hand to hand with the enemy- Fortunately this was not an adult possum otherwise there's no way I would do this- Easing the door open again the critter has buried his head between two heavy blankets and I see my moment of opportunity- I put a death grip in his neck with one hand on the top blanket and one under the lower blanket- Fortunately Mr Possum decides to play possum and goes limp- Wife open front door and I toss critter into the yard-

He bounces twices and lays absolutely still- Damn says I, didn't want to kill him just wanted him gone- Then just like in a cartoon he stands up, shakes his head, turns to look at me as if to say "What's your problem" and heads back to the field

 

[230RN]

Moral: Good locks aren't everything. Get good glass too, particularly around doors. Also have door locks that require a key on the inside if there's a window anywhere near it.

Can't document this, but apparently this can be dangerous. I recall reading somewhere that inside-keyed locks like deadbolts have been responsible for a number of deaths in fires because the keys couldn't be found in time to get out.

I dunno. National fire code, national safety council, somebody said that.

I'm sure there's a solution, if one is forewarned of this possibility, so maybe that might be kept in mind.

Can't call it a "factoid," so maybe it's just a "memoroid."

Just for relevance: GUN

 

[MilsurpShooter]

If you make it hard for the enemy to get in you make it hard for you to get out

Certain states I think the interior locking method is illegal

 

[heypete]

Hmm. I honestly can say I didn't consider the fire prevention aspects of interior-locking doors. An interesting conundrum indeed.

 

[230RN]

That's what we're here for.

(I thought sure somebody would make a wisecrack about my new word: "memoroid." I guess my sense of humor is too puerile.)

For relevance: RIFLING