True Story:
I was a "qualified Expert" on all Navy small arms, to wit: 1911A1, 9mm, .38 Special (Hey! I was in for 20 years!), M16, M14, and Shotgun. I did a sort of volunteer auxilliary security thing in the Navy when I wasn't fixing jets, and therefore got to shoot a lot in the late eighties and nineties. I stopped doing the security thing in 1998, which meant no more military weapons while on duty, which was kind of a bummer, but no big deal. Navy folks just don't get weapons training, per se.
As an "Attaboy!" from my gunner, I got to take the place of a sick pilot during a sidearm qualification in 2005, about a month before I retired. I hadn't shot Navy guns since 1998, and was expecting to see Beretta M92s on the line...I was pleasantly surprised to see our pilots got to qual with Sig P226s! Sweeeet! I'd never fired one, but hey--a gun is a gun is a gun.
Rangemaster asked me if I'd shot before, I said sure, and made sure he knew that I'd qualified as Expert before, of course. In a bunch of a guns. In fact, I'd probably been shooting before he'd been born. He just gave me his bored smile, verified that I knew how to operate the firearm, and asked me if I'd help load magazines, as most pilots don't really know all that much about firearms and have trouble with the magazines. I helped load about 30 mags.
First course of fire? Are you serious? 7 yards? Oh my GAWD! This is going to be too easy! I had 20 seconds to shoot 10 rounds. I easily placed all 10 in
a group that you could cover with a playing card. Not the best, but hey--other people there couldn't hit paper! I was by far the best shooter, and was already anticipating my high score.
Next course of fire was 20 rnds in 40 seconds, I think, at 10 yards, with a magazine change (2 mags with 5 rnds). My Sig was flawless, and again I put all rounds downrange in a truly, I must say, masterful fashion. To make it more interesting for me, I chose head-shots only this time, a riskier move because of the smaller target. No probs, tight group! I glanced a little smugly at the poopy-suit next to me, while he frowned at the randomly scattered, lonely-looking four or five holes embarrassingly evident on his silhouette. Amateur. I asked him if he knew what a sight picture was, and could I maybe show him what he was supposed to be doing? He told me to mind my own business. Fine. It's his qual--let him do it again if he wants to.
Next course of fire was off-hand. 10 rnds in 40 seconds, one magazine change, 10 yards. No prob--wait! *** is off-hand?
...yeah. Turns out that the Navy has upgraded their pistol quals, and now require shooting from behind a stanchion with your "other" hand. My training, up to that point? Not so much the off hand. Read "not so much" as "never ever done that". Shooting on my own? Never trained with the off hand (at that point). Ever done this? It's...wrong! Nothing feels right! It's all funky and weird and stuff! It felt incredibly strange, and the damn bullets weren't going where they were supposed to, and I kept getting more frustrated...I tell you, that was both the longest and shortest 40 seconds I've ever endured. Those of you who've shot for points before when it counts, know what I'm talking about.
Fellows, I'm here to tell you that out of 10 rnds, I put only four on the paper. You had to see it--these nice, tight little groups centered on...well...center mass and head shots, and then...those others. I believe one or two were on the silhouette. Ok...maybe just one. Ok...maybe just one broke the black.
...yeah. Good thing it was just a "fun" thing for me, and not a true qual. I would have qualified (barely...and by that I mean by two points, and based solely on the good first two courses of fire). The pilot next to me, the man who I'd asked if he wanted some instruction on sight picture, easily outscored me.
He was very polite about asking me if I wanted some help with my sight picture. Jerk.