the Beretta 92fs
There are other guns out there that are more user friendly to women than the M9 or 92FS. Try the Browning High Power and CZ75. Like the Beretta 92FS, these two are metal framed which will help to reduced the recoil.
A word on the Browning HiPower; the slide is very hard to work on a lot of BHP’s. I am no weakling and have very good finger/ hand strength (I rock climb regularly), and I have trouble operating the slide of my BHP when the hammer is down.
The Beretta 92fs is a very good gun. They are reliable, accurate, and easy to operate and maintain. If it fits your hand well, then I would say go for it. My sister is in the Army and is 5’2”, 110 soaking wet and loves her M9 (the military version of the 92fs) and is very proficient with it. The only word of caution I would give with the 92 is to avoid cheaply made magazines. Everyone and their brother makes 92 mags and some do a better job than others.
Since you are considering options other than the 380’s now, may I suggest that you also look at the HK P2000 or the HK USP9 and the SIG 229. The HK’s have the easiest to operate slides, IMHO, of all of the duty calibers.
The USP and P2000 are wonderful guns. Dead reliable and very accurate, they are easy to maintain, and the P2000 has a nice trigger option (called LEM) that many consider to be the best of all of the polymer framed guns. They also have a recoil reduction system that softens recoil a good deal, and their polymer frames are slimmer than that of most metal framed guns.
The SIG 229 is a fabulous mid size 9mm that is all metal and has a very nice, smooth trigger. My girlfriend is very good with hers (well it was mine, but she borrowed it a year ago and I have not gotten it back yet) and it was amazing how fast she became proficient with it. Also, this is the gun of mine that most new shooters (male or female) that I take shooting like and can shoot well with right away, after starting out on a 22 of course. The 229 is a bit on the heavy side, especially for its smaller size, but that weight makes it a “soft” shooter recoil wise.
Hope this helped,
-Fred