Best Caliber Against Monkeys?

[cpttango30]

Fast moving at night calles for one thing. quad M-2 Mount with Night vision. That would take care of them and look cool doing it.

 

[Joe Demko]

How about some really big snakes? I read The Jungle Books when I was a kid and IIRC Kaa the python didn't just prey on the monkeys, he ruled them like a god.

 

[Invalid]

1. Barrel full of Tannerite.
2. Monkey-feast on and around barrel.
3. YouTube video.
(4.) Get shot in turn by PETA.

 

[CypherNinja]

1. Barrel full of Tannerite.
2. Monkey-feast on and around barrel.
3. YouTube video.
(4.) Get shot in turn by PETA.

LOL!

I vote American 180 w/suppressor and a backpack full of 575 round drums.

 

[cpttango30]

Thommy gun? with 100 rounds drum mags.

 

[Cosmoline]

I've always heard baboons are the worst of the primates when they get a mind to attack people. These asiatic monkeys should be compartively easy to deal with. Poison is one way, or just a liberal dose of .22 LR and 12 ga. After you kill some the rest will get the idea.

 

[MD_Willington]

7.62x39 works quite well on Baboons and Gorillas, but Gorillas are apes, not monkeys...

 

[TBeck]

Can we please cut with the jokes and sarcasm? A person has actually DIED here. There are places in the world that monkeys are a very real threat to people especially children and the elderly.

Yeah, we know. But seriously, they ganged up and whacked a grown man. If you don't laugh you have to cry. I mean, what are they going to put on his tombstone, "Something he disagreed with ate him"?

 

[TBeck]

but Gorillas are apes, not monkeys...

And they're about as harmless an animal that you can find. Chimps, now, chimps can be nasty. There was an old female at Lowry Park Zoo that used to try and coax the keepers into placing their hands within reach. If they did she would then try and pull off their fingers. A fullgrown chimp is more than strong enough to do it, too. Chimps are enough like people to be scary. The movie had it all wrong, Dr. Cornelius was the one to watch out for.

 

[Joe Demko]

The movie had it all wrong, Dr. Cornelius was the one to watch out for.

Yeah, dood, but Zira was hot!

 

[6_gunner]

City authorities have experimented with using langurs — a larger and fiercer kind of monkey — to scare or catch the macaques, but the problem persists.

Uh...am I the only one who can see where this might lead to problems?

That made me laugh out loud!

Okay...but what if they're ZOMBIE monkeys?




I'm sorry, but we all knew somebody was going to say it sooner or later.

 

[tatters]

A while back, a monkey ripped some poor guys berries off after it bit his fingers and his face. I'll bet the guy wished he was dead!

I hate monkeys, have always hated monkeys. Blast them all, I say.

00 buck, or a HiPoint carbine

 

[TBeck]

Okay...but what if they're ZOMBIE monkeys?

In that case, fall back upon the advice of G. Gordon Liddy, "Head shots! Head shots!"

 

[Chris B]

Quote:
Any thing with a Banana clip.

As used in gorilla warfare.

Hilarious!

00 Buck should do the trick.

 

[JWarren]

6 gunner wrote:

Okay...but what if they're ZOMBIE monkeys?

Darn it. Now you made me do it....

 

[Crunker1337]

I think a machete would do nicely if firearms are out of the question. It is a bit of a pain to buy guns in India, and then you can only buy so much ammunition per year.

 

[oldironman]

"Something he disagreed with ate him"?

Now that is good enough for Jay Lenno. You should take advantage of the writers strike!

Boys and girls, if I ever lose my sense of humor, please... just throw me to the wolves......... NOT the monkeys, and then make jokes about it.

 

[TBeck]

I think a machete would do nicely if firearms are out of the question.

Well, if we're moving on to edged weapons then, given the geographical location, the tool of choice is clearly the kukri...preferably wielded by a regiment of Ghurkas!

Monkey problem? What monkey problem?

 

[havanatrader]

Peter Gabriel. Monkey problem solved.