Sadly, I don't find this reaction to be that out-of-the-ordinary.
In the past few years I've dated 2 women who were previously abused.
In one case, she was married for 26 years, to a "control freak" that governed her every move and was verbally abusive throughout (She wouldn't admit to any physical abuse, but I inferred from some things she said that there was probably some). He also totally ignored their only child. When she trusted me enough to tell me about all of these things, all I could think was "Why in hell did you live like that?". Her philosophy was that marriage was a lifelong thing, and you just took the bad with the good...Of course he walked out the day her daughter turned 18, and he no longer was responsible to support her. After we started dating (3 years after he left) she was still terrified that he would come after her/me/us. (He'd once told her if he didn't have her, no one would). If she was it my place, and my dogs started making a fuss, she would get this "deer-in-the-headlights" look, and make me go check it out. Bizarre considering there probably wasn't a safer place to be. She finally got up the nerve to file divorce papers...shortly after that she said she couldn't see me any more---no explanation. My inference was that he somehow threatened her, but to this day I don't know what happened.
The second one was even more screwed up..She'd been in an abusive relationsip for 7 years, and had finally left. We started dating shortly thereafter (bad idea on my part)... Her ex-boyfriend was a real psycho, threatened me several times...Used to call her (on the pretense that he wanted to see how her daughter(not his) was doing...If I was there I'd answer the phone(caller ID), and he'd threaten me some more (he was usually drunk)...Told him to "come on down" a few times, but while he had no problem picking on a 100 lb. female, he would never face me. But I digress.
Her problem was that she was so used to confrontations and arguments and such, that she would actually try to START fights with me (especially if she'd been drinking). When I wouldn't play along (I wouldn't even raise my voice), she'd just keep after it, trying to get a rise outa me. This usually resulted in me walking out. In short, somehow it was stuck in her head that fights and arguments were part of a relationship. Obviously, this didn't last too long. Besides feeling sorry for her (she obviously had some deep seated psychological problems), I felt really bad for her daughter, who I'd grown attched to.
In the past few years I've dated 2 women who were previously abused.
In one case, she was married for 26 years, to a "control freak" that governed her every move and was verbally abusive throughout (She wouldn't admit to any physical abuse, but I inferred from some things she said that there was probably some). He also totally ignored their only child. When she trusted me enough to tell me about all of these things, all I could think was "Why in hell did you live like that?". Her philosophy was that marriage was a lifelong thing, and you just took the bad with the good...Of course he walked out the day her daughter turned 18, and he no longer was responsible to support her. After we started dating (3 years after he left) she was still terrified that he would come after her/me/us. (He'd once told her if he didn't have her, no one would). If she was it my place, and my dogs started making a fuss, she would get this "deer-in-the-headlights" look, and make me go check it out. Bizarre considering there probably wasn't a safer place to be. She finally got up the nerve to file divorce papers...shortly after that she said she couldn't see me any more---no explanation. My inference was that he somehow threatened her, but to this day I don't know what happened.
The second one was even more screwed up..She'd been in an abusive relationsip for 7 years, and had finally left. We started dating shortly thereafter (bad idea on my part)... Her ex-boyfriend was a real psycho, threatened me several times...Used to call her (on the pretense that he wanted to see how her daughter(not his) was doing...If I was there I'd answer the phone(caller ID), and he'd threaten me some more (he was usually drunk)...Told him to "come on down" a few times, but while he had no problem picking on a 100 lb. female, he would never face me. But I digress.
Her problem was that she was so used to confrontations and arguments and such, that she would actually try to START fights with me (especially if she'd been drinking). When I wouldn't play along (I wouldn't even raise my voice), she'd just keep after it, trying to get a rise outa me. This usually resulted in me walking out. In short, somehow it was stuck in her head that fights and arguments were part of a relationship. Obviously, this didn't last too long. Besides feeling sorry for her (she obviously had some deep seated psychological problems), I felt really bad for her daughter, who I'd grown attched to.