Bit Me: A story of the end of the world
- Thread starter hrgrisso
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hrgrisso
Member
hoppy...
Um... WHAT?
Just kidding, I get what your saying. It may not make sense, yet, but bear with. It is risky, but whats life without a little riske?
(misspelling intended)
Remember 28days they technically were "crazy persons" because it was a virus. Just bear with and I think you'll catch where I'm going with the zombie mindset in the next three chapters.
Um... WHAT?
Just kidding, I get what your saying. It may not make sense, yet, but bear with. It is risky, but whats life without a little riske?
(misspelling intended)Remember 28days they technically were "crazy persons" because it was a virus. Just bear with and I think you'll catch where I'm going with the zombie mindset in the next three chapters.
hrgrisso
i trust ya, and look forward to the rest of the story. i agree your zombies are alot like like the 28 days later crazys. witht he exception the 28 day later crazy could be put down with body shots. from waht i can tell, yours require the traditional headshot
i trust ya, and look forward to the rest of the story. i agree your zombies are alot like like the 28 days later crazys. witht he exception the 28 day later crazy could be put down with body shots. from waht i can tell, yours require the traditional headshot
spartan55
Member
A chapter a day would be a nice! I'm hooked!
the naked prophet
Member
Hoppy - he's the author, he can make the zombies out to be whatever he wants!
I do have one question though. If the zombies are created that quickly, how did they ever spread beyond walking distance of the first infection? Nobody would let a crazed biter get on a plane, and the plane couldn't possibly continue once everyone has been bitten, likewise with a train or a bus - and the zombies sure couldn't drive, could they?
Likewise, how could a biter get into the bunker? Unless the biter could control the crazy feeding instinct long enough to blend in - but if they had that much mental processing...
Anyway, I assume you're going to answer those questions later on in the story, yes?
I do have one question though. If the zombies are created that quickly, how did they ever spread beyond walking distance of the first infection? Nobody would let a crazed biter get on a plane, and the plane couldn't possibly continue once everyone has been bitten, likewise with a train or a bus - and the zombies sure couldn't drive, could they?
Likewise, how could a biter get into the bunker? Unless the biter could control the crazy feeding instinct long enough to blend in - but if they had that much mental processing...
Anyway, I assume you're going to answer those questions later on in the story, yes?
hrgrisso
Member
Questions
Naked (sorry been wanting to address you that way for a while) I am going to be addressing the idea of the zombies and how they spread/grow/function throughout the book. My idea was to present the story mainly (with a few obvious exceptions) from the perspective of a guy who is mostly prepared and ready for anything, or he thought he was. The idea of how the zombies function, he won't know any or all of that at once either. So as the audience, and myself a little too, you'll see what's happening with the zombies as he learns.
As to the critique, I know there are thousands of zombie purists, hence the grumbling about everything from DOTD(r) and LOTD, 28DAYS etc. That's even what kept Stephen King out of the genre for so long in spite of his obsession with George Romero. I will make the zombies however I want, but I am enjoying others view so far. It helps me view how effective the writing is so far.
My main goal with this story is to be entertaining. I hope I am succeeding and pray that I will continue to do so. Second I hope it's exciting! A zombie story that wasn't would be pretty lame. I know there are ups and downs, peaks and valleys if I can use a theater term. But I hope you continue to be entertained, but I must admit I'm enjoying the little commentary, I've never done a story that way before, keeps me thinking!
Just remember this: Since it's a virus (which makes more sense to me than anything else) different people are effected different ways, it also takes longer for certain people to be effected (and vice versa) and not everyone is effected in the same way. Lastly just remember, viruses mutate...
Naked (sorry been wanting to address you that way for a while
) I am going to be addressing the idea of the zombies and how they spread/grow/function throughout the book. My idea was to present the story mainly (with a few obvious exceptions) from the perspective of a guy who is mostly prepared and ready for anything, or he thought he was. The idea of how the zombies function, he won't know any or all of that at once either. So as the audience, and myself a little too, you'll see what's happening with the zombies as he learns. As to the critique, I know there are thousands of zombie purists, hence the grumbling about everything from DOTD(r) and LOTD, 28DAYS etc. That's even what kept Stephen King out of the genre for so long in spite of his obsession with George Romero. I will make the zombies however I want, but I am enjoying others view so far. It helps me view how effective the writing is so far.
My main goal with this story is to be entertaining. I hope I am succeeding and pray that I will continue to do so. Second I hope it's exciting! A zombie story that wasn't would be pretty lame. I know there are ups and downs, peaks and valleys if I can use a theater term. But I hope you continue to be entertained, but I must admit I'm enjoying the little commentary, I've never done a story that way before, keeps me thinking!
Just remember this: Since it's a virus (which makes more sense to me than anything else) different people are effected different ways, it also takes longer for certain people to be effected (and vice versa) and not everyone is effected in the same way. Lastly just remember, viruses mutate...
illEagle
Member
You Rock!
Dagnabbit, I've got to get back to work. Great story so far. I've stopped at chapter 3 but can hardly wait to continue...
Thanks for sharing.
Dagnabbit, I've got to get back to work. Great story so far. I've stopped at chapter 3 but can hardly wait to continue...
Thanks for sharing.
Kevin108
Member
Keep up the good work!
Snipe315
Member
Bravo!
Awesome story so far.
I'm not sure I liked the part about the President being attacked in what should have been a secure bunker. Having some personal knowledge about similar security measures, I find it hard to believe that an infected person would not be noticed prior to his attacking the most protected man in the room.
And with the Zombie mindset of attacking any and everyone around them, there should have been lots of people being attacked prior to the Presidents speech.
Don't get me wrong... overall I like the story so far.
Awesome story so far.
I'm not sure I liked the part about the President being attacked in what should have been a secure bunker. Having some personal knowledge about similar security measures, I find it hard to believe that an infected person would not be noticed prior to his attacking the most protected man in the room.
And with the Zombie mindset of attacking any and everyone around them, there should have been lots of people being attacked prior to the Presidents speech.
Don't get me wrong... overall I like the story so far.
Love the story so far, but was feeling a little blah about the president being bitten. I feel if he made it to the bunker, he would be safe. Not saying that the virus can't somehow get into the bunker, but I have a tough time believing that the president would be singled out in a Zombie Attack.
Also, it's too bad about bloomberg
Also, it's too bad about bloomberg
darkknight
Member
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2006
- Messages
- 224
so my addiction needs to be fed with another chapter will u please fullfill my need. thank you. great story and looking forward to the rest of the story.
supraneurotoxin
Member
more. more! MORE!!
hrgrisso
Member
Patience
Sorry for taking so long for the rest of Chapter 3. I hope to have it done today. It's written but I'm trying to polish it before posting. Works been over the top lately so I'll get it done as soon as I can!
Sorry for taking so long for the rest of Chapter 3. I hope to have it done today. It's written but I'm trying to polish it before posting. Works been over the top lately so I'll get it done as soon as I can!
hrgrisso
Member
LOL
Well Correia I just like taking on more than I can chew! lol
A buddy and I are starting a gun shop, I'm trying to finish my BS and I work full time +. Chapter 3 is done, I just need to revise it, these internet guys have sharp teeth! lol!
Well Correia I just like taking on more than I can chew! lol
A buddy and I are starting a gun shop, I'm trying to finish my BS and I work full time +. Chapter 3 is done, I just need to revise it, these internet guys have sharp teeth! lol!
hrgrisso
Member
Chapter 3: Continued
Gabe had his arm wrapped around his wife as they watched the President fall. The small living room was silent except for the puttering sounds that Seamus’s son was making playing with a toy car. All the adults that made up the large group sat stunned in silence as the sound cut out as the young officer attacked the secret servicemen. The President stood, but after the previous day’s events, Gabe knew it wasn’t the President any longer. He saw the President jump at towards the camera and the television cut from the White House to a severe looking woman sitting at a small, grey desk as she introduced herself.
“My name is Helen Mortensen. I have been appointed as Regional Governor of Southern California, Arizona, Nevada, Southern Utah, and New Mexico, dubbed New Mexico 6. I have assembled all remaining Governors and state officers along with a federally approved team of advisors from FEMA all together to work to bring this time of crisis to an end as quickly and painlessly as possible.”
She smiled. “For the duration of this crisis, which we expect to be over in the next week all power, and water resources will be diverted exclusively to government controlled and approved locations and uses. From the end of this broadcast, people shall have two hours to gather as much water as they deem necessary. Before you become upset, remember this action is for the safety of those in the established safe zones, and soon we expect to bring everyone as yet uninfected to these safe havens.
Second, no person shall be found outside after dark. Any person caught after dark and away from home will be charged with, and found guilty of looting. With the sentence carried out immediately.
In addition, to leave the city or town you currently reside in, will require a permit. Travel is restricted to government vehicles and those with issued government permits. Travel permits may be procured from the nearest government resource center in your nearest Safe Zone. Due to the nature of the southwest, no open fires will be permitted.
Sadly due to the nature of this current situation and lacking organizational ability, the guarantees of the constitution are hereby negated. I will work with all officers and agents of New Mexico 6 to attempt to allow these rights to go un-violated, but due to the times, this cannot be guaranteed.
In regards to those whom have been infected, we believe that the infected are still people and have rights. From this point on, no person shall knowingly attempt to kill or harm the infected. We believe that if you do not attempt to harm or harass that they will not harm you. Any individual, whose actions result in the death of one of the infected, will be tried for murder, sentence carried out immediately.”
Out loud David yelled “B*****it!”
No one else spoke.
Governor Mortensen continued, “To ensure the safety and security of all, the carrying of firearms in general, and the carrying of firearms through or into any government controlled areas is further prohibited. People found guilty of either crime will face the maximum punishment according to the law, immediately.
Local leadership will soon be announcing gathering points that have been secured where all those not infected can gather for food, water, shelter and safety. These safe zones should be available soon.
Please understand that while these actions may seem harsh, that they are completely necessary to ensure the people of this great country’s safety and security. Let us all attempt to remain calm over the next week while we restore order. Let us strive to restore the precious order that we all so cherish, so that the sooner we are able to resume the traditions of this great country.
I will gladly hand the rights of this people back to them as soon as we can guarantee the violence and bloodshed are over and that we are able to return to a duly elected government.
Lastly to ensure that I have impressed the seriousness of the situation upon you, please know that the punishment for looting, and murder is execution. We must have control and order if our survival is to be accomplished. I hope to see all of you in safe zones very soon. In our great President’s words, ‘Good luck!’”
In the small apartment one of Deacons daughters started to cry.
Gabe had his arm wrapped around his wife as they watched the President fall. The small living room was silent except for the puttering sounds that Seamus’s son was making playing with a toy car. All the adults that made up the large group sat stunned in silence as the sound cut out as the young officer attacked the secret servicemen. The President stood, but after the previous day’s events, Gabe knew it wasn’t the President any longer. He saw the President jump at towards the camera and the television cut from the White House to a severe looking woman sitting at a small, grey desk as she introduced herself.
“My name is Helen Mortensen. I have been appointed as Regional Governor of Southern California, Arizona, Nevada, Southern Utah, and New Mexico, dubbed New Mexico 6. I have assembled all remaining Governors and state officers along with a federally approved team of advisors from FEMA all together to work to bring this time of crisis to an end as quickly and painlessly as possible.”
She smiled. “For the duration of this crisis, which we expect to be over in the next week all power, and water resources will be diverted exclusively to government controlled and approved locations and uses. From the end of this broadcast, people shall have two hours to gather as much water as they deem necessary. Before you become upset, remember this action is for the safety of those in the established safe zones, and soon we expect to bring everyone as yet uninfected to these safe havens.
Second, no person shall be found outside after dark. Any person caught after dark and away from home will be charged with, and found guilty of looting. With the sentence carried out immediately.
In addition, to leave the city or town you currently reside in, will require a permit. Travel is restricted to government vehicles and those with issued government permits. Travel permits may be procured from the nearest government resource center in your nearest Safe Zone. Due to the nature of the southwest, no open fires will be permitted.
Sadly due to the nature of this current situation and lacking organizational ability, the guarantees of the constitution are hereby negated. I will work with all officers and agents of New Mexico 6 to attempt to allow these rights to go un-violated, but due to the times, this cannot be guaranteed.
In regards to those whom have been infected, we believe that the infected are still people and have rights. From this point on, no person shall knowingly attempt to kill or harm the infected. We believe that if you do not attempt to harm or harass that they will not harm you. Any individual, whose actions result in the death of one of the infected, will be tried for murder, sentence carried out immediately.”
Out loud David yelled “B*****it!”
No one else spoke.
Governor Mortensen continued, “To ensure the safety and security of all, the carrying of firearms in general, and the carrying of firearms through or into any government controlled areas is further prohibited. People found guilty of either crime will face the maximum punishment according to the law, immediately.
Local leadership will soon be announcing gathering points that have been secured where all those not infected can gather for food, water, shelter and safety. These safe zones should be available soon.
Please understand that while these actions may seem harsh, that they are completely necessary to ensure the people of this great country’s safety and security. Let us all attempt to remain calm over the next week while we restore order. Let us strive to restore the precious order that we all so cherish, so that the sooner we are able to resume the traditions of this great country.
I will gladly hand the rights of this people back to them as soon as we can guarantee the violence and bloodshed are over and that we are able to return to a duly elected government.
Lastly to ensure that I have impressed the seriousness of the situation upon you, please know that the punishment for looting, and murder is execution. We must have control and order if our survival is to be accomplished. I hope to see all of you in safe zones very soon. In our great President’s words, ‘Good luck!’”
In the small apartment one of Deacons daughters started to cry.
eric.cartman
Member
crap!
so Hillary is the new president now?
Grrr... I hope she gets eaten, slowly
Keep it coming!
BTW, did you write it all yet and are feeding us bits and peaces, or is it written as you go?
so Hillary is the new president now?
Grrr... I hope she gets eaten, slowly
Keep it coming!
BTW, did you write it all yet and are feeding us bits and peaces, or is it written as you go?
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