buddy getting into guns - is this a good idea?

[tripleevil]

I’ve been reading this board for a few weeks now and figured that this would be the best place for a well thought out answer.

Anyway I was hanging out with my buddy yesterday and he mentions in passing that he’s finally convinced his wife to let him get a handgun – which in of itself is no problem.

The only problem I do have is that he does have an “impulse-anger†problem – i.e. road rage, minor scuffles when out, etc. Furthermore he doesn’t seem know his limits of understanding about firearms and lacks initiative to get educated. I’m worried that this combination will lead to a bad outcome.

Is there disaster ahead or am I being paranoid? Is there a good way to address this? Thanks

tripleevil

 

[dance varmint]

A warm welcome. This sounds pretty serious and I would have the same concern.
In our area, yet another POS murdered his wife or girlfriend recently.
Before any purchase, I would recommend taking the guy to a day-long NRA course (might be well worth the cost) and see if he absorbs the lessons of safety and responsibility through his Cro-Magnon skull; if not, I would discourage buying a gun. Sounds like this person already has barely avoided becoming prohibited from owning guns already. Personally, FWIW, I would want his wife to be at parity--she should get her own gun too.

 

[Preacherman]

Welcome to THR!

I'd suggest that your buddy gets into a good training program - the NRA courses are a good introduction - BEFORE he buys anything. Then, suggest to him that he goes out to a shooting range in the area, looks at the guns that are in use, and either rents a few, or borrows a couple from your shooting buddies, and tries them out before buying. That way, he'll know what "fits" him, and what he likes, before wasting money on something he may not like.

This will have the additional advantage of letting him learn from experienced shooters about gun safety, etiquette, etc. Hopefully, this will "rub off" on his anger management problem. Besides which, I've found a good day at the range is great frustration therapy! I come away feeling much more relaxed.

 

[Bartholomew Roberts]

A good way to bring this up tactfully is to suggest the NRA class as a means to get to try shooting different types of guns and learn a bit so the guy doesn't get "ripped off" during his purchase. Make it about the value it brings to him so he has incentive to take it.

 

[4v50 Gary]

He'll need to learn about the lawful use of force and like Bart. mentions, the NRA class will be of benefit to him.

 

[Tommy Gunn]

I would tell him straight up to take an anger management course before he buys any guns.

 

[SelfProclaimedExpert]

If you are actually friends with the guy, you may just want to ask him straight out if he's going to be shooting at other drivers or if he's going to be able to throttle down when he has the gun. The NRA class thing is good, but won't be appreciated if he realizes why you're pushing it.

But you could take him shooting now, ostensibly to show him different guns, and maybe do a little mentoring on range etiquette. Sometimes caution and professionalism can be infectious.

Either way, he's going to get a gun. The only thing you can do is help mold his attitude towards a deadly weapon.



Good luck.

 

[Guy B. Meredith]

Where you live can also dictate the level of concern. If you are in a location where getting a license to carry is easy then the short fuse factor is even more critical.

If he intends to carry without a license then he doesn't need a gun--basically because he is irresponsible enough not to obey the laws and probably will not take other laws and ethics into consideration when dealing with his short fuse.

Quite frankly, I don't want another POS giving politicians more reason to promote bigotry against responsible firearms owners.

 

[IAJack]

How good of friend is he compared to how valuable is his or possibly someone elses life?

If you are close then he will understand and maybe appreciate you mentioning it or he will be PO'd at you and do what he wants to anyway but atleast you will have a clear concience then?

 

[AJ Dual]

I don't know your friend, so obviously take this FWIW...

But some people with "anger problems" are like dogs behind fences and on a chain. Barking their head off. But outside the fence and off the chain they mind thier manners. Some "hotheads" are much quicker to return insults or a challenge, but return to sanity when things get serious, but obviously some do not.

Think carefully about your friend's "scuffles" and "road rage", was it a little pushing and shouted insults at a bar, but only when behind 10 guys on each side wisely pushing the combatants apart? Flipping the bird and some brake lights on the freeway?

Or was it realy ready to escalate into real knock-down drag-out fight, or to pull over and get out of the car, etc.?

Robert Heinlien's famous "An armed society is a polite society" goes both ways, and affects the person behind the gun too. Many will attest that the knowledge of that ultimate responsibility that is riding in that holster on thier hip makes them much more wary and avoid escalating any confrontation, and "saving face" is no longer as important as staying safe.

 

[Standing Wolf]

1. Welcome to the High Road!

2. He sounds as though he needs both an N.R.A. introductory course and some coaching. I'd be inclined to take him to the range and show him the difference between a .357 magnum round shot into an empty milk jug and one shot into one filled with water, then casually mention the human body is about 80% water.

3. If he has an anger problem, does he have felony convictions to match? If so, he has no legal business even handling, still less owning, firearms. Some of what passes for "anger problems" is actually psychomotor epilepsy. It's extremely common among people in jails and prisons; it's also diagnosible and treatable.

 

[Carlos Cabeza]

People who lack self control do not mix well with firearms. Suggest that he get some form of training, this may help him to control his emotional impulses. I have found that a significant other knows exactly which buttons to push and in the correct sequence to cause a fit of rage in certain people. If it were me and I knew this person, I would discourage him from making a purchase. I could not bear the thought of my friend hurting someone in an emotionally charged moment.

 

[STW]

He's much more likely to take any course if it's "Let's take a course" instead of "You should take a course." Besides, if you're like me, you'll invariably learn something new too and it'll give you one more excuse to be around guns.

 

[dance varmint]

You should get a copy of In the Gravest Extreme by Massad Ayoob, read it, then give it to him and tell him to read it from cover to cover and get back to you. If he's too lazy to read it, or if he disparages Ayoob's idea of the proper mindset for an armed person, then there is no question that I would not want this friend to be armed.

 

[fourdeuce82d]

he does have an “impulse-anger†problem – i.e. road rage, minor scuffles when out



Doesn't need a gun. Put it this way- I had a confrontation this afternoon (ten minutes ago) that had I not been armed *might* have escalated into a fistfight. The presence of the gun,...and being 41, and not wanting to lose my CHL, or have a record, motivated me to accept the abuse...and go home.

You aboslutely, positively, not matter what the provacation, have to be able to walk away. If there's any doubt- don't carry.

I realized also that I had responded inappropriately to the initial contact. Didn't realize just how cranky that rude person was. It's hard to accept abuse...but if you're carrying, you have to, period.

from now on... I'll eat shiite and ask for more.

 

[HankB]

. . . my buddy . . . does have an “impulse-anger†problem – i.e. road rage, minor scuffles when out, etc.

I suggest you re-evaluate how you pick your friends. If you happen to be hanging out with him when he decides to escalate something, it could end up being a problem for you, too.

 

[tripleevil]

thanks for all the advice - I going to have a serious discussion about responsibilities of firearm ownership and anger control. It seems like a good place to start.

It's sometimes a little difficult confront friends/families on stuff they really don't want to hear, but I think it's worth 'biting the bullet' on this one


Again, thanks.

 

[KarlG]

tripleevil,

Good choice. You seem to be a true friend. Good luck.

 

[H Romberg]

If you're a REALLY good friend, sponsor yourself and him for the next available LFI courses. In fact, I'd like to go too.

 

[GregoryTech]

You mean he hasn't stabbbed anyone with a fork, or driven over them with his car yet? Perhaps he's just not a murderer. Then again, the anti's are always telling us that the mere possession of a gun drives us to murder.