Classic gun-related Christmas songs

[RKBABob]

Well... its not a Christmas song... but this may be my only chance to post it!

Ahem...

"Glory, Glory, Halleluia!

Te-acher hit me with a ru-uler.

I met her in the attic with a semi-automatic,

and she ain't my teacher no more!"

 

[Big Duke Six]

How about the actual lyrics to "It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas"...



It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in ev'ry store
But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be
On your own front door.

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
There's a tree in the Grand Hotel, one in the park as well,
The sturdy kind that doesn't mind the snow.
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas;
Soon the bells will start,
And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart

 

[SHOOT1SAM]

Here's the contributions of my 13 year old daughter:

Good King Winchester

Santa Glock is coming to town

Did you see what I shot? Did you hear my gunshot?

I saw Mommy shooting Santa Claus (I have no idea where she gets this sick, twisted streak of hers )

Kling, Glockchen

Shoot A Pan

Shoot, Shoot, Shoot (Fum, Fum, Fum)

Shots of the Sugar Plum Fairies

Chestnuts exploding, from gunfire...

O Tannenbomb

Re; gunpowder-Let it Flow, Let it Flow, Let it Flow

I shot upon a sight picture clear

"Check your shells for seated primers, boom boom boom boom boom, boom boom boom boom
'Tis the season to call your flyers, boom boom.......
Don we now, our shooting apparel,.....
Let's shoot that doe that we call Carol........."

From another daughter: Oh gun all ye faithful

 

[Kor]

"Darryl Stokes (That Dumb Sonofa*****) Almost Shot Santa Claus" by Tim Wilson:

Darryl Stokes (That Dumb Sonofa*****)
Almost shot Santa Claus!
He was layin' on the couch on Christmas Eve
Over at his sister-in-law's.
When he heard something walking up on the roof,
He laid down his Christmas beer,
And went and got the same .357 Magnum
That Santa brought him last year.

And Darryl Stokes (That Dumb Sonofa*****)
Started shooting in the fireplace.
He blowed all the buckles offa Santa's boots
And left powder burns on his face.
He didn't realize Santa had a heart condition,
And it was a Christmas mess
When the young'uns come downstairs
And found Darryl pumpin' on Santa's chest.

And Darryl Stokes (That Dumb Sonofa*****)
Gave Santa a heart attack,
But with some CPR he learned in prison
He was able to bring him back.
And there's a split-level house in Tennessee
That was wrapped in a Christmas gloom.
They called 911, and the paramedics
Took Santa to the emergency room.

And Darryl Stokes (That Dumb Sonofa*****)
Felt bad about what he did.
The least he could do was to try to save Christmas
And not disappoint the kids.
So he hooked the reindeer to his GTO,
And that is the reason, folks,
If your gifts don't get here till late September -
You can thank that sumb Sonofa***** Darryl Stokes.

 

[Piedmont Plinker]

Down to the village, with a boomstick in his hand, running here and there all around the square singing "Cuff me if you can."
He led the down the streets of town right to the ATF and he only paused a moment when their tasers all went "pffefft"

 

[PTK]

I couldn't help it. I heard God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen today, and the lyrics popped into my head.

God rest ye merry Armalites, in two two three or not.
Remember mags and ammo, for getting barrels hot.
While punching holes in targets, small groups are often got.

O piles of cases and fun, cases and fun,
O piles of cases and fun.

 

[Shanghai McCoy]

A long long time ago we used to sing a little ditty that went...

Jingle bells shotgun shells VC in the grass
Take your Merry Christmas and shove it ........

Well,the rest of the lyrics are neither High Road nor whimsical but in those days neither were we...