Cow elephant. The most intimidating animal on the planet!

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H&Hhunter

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Having spent a bit of time in the African bush I can unequivocally say that of all the dangerous animals I've encountered the most intimidating is the cow elephant. That is NOT to say that all elephants are man crushing maniacs, but when they do get their blood up there is nothing quite so awe inspiring than a charging elephant or herd of charging elephant.

My most memorable elephant encounter occurred in the Zambezi valley of Zimbabwe in the summer of 2004. We had cut the tracks of a dagga boy buffalo bull early that morning. (Literally translated a mud boy or old solo bull, they get their name from their tendency to lie around in mud wallows lazily passing their time in retirement from the herd.). We followed his tracks for roughly 9 hours when we finally decided to give it up as we'd not seen him and had bumped him in the thick stuff several times. The game was up and this old dagga boy was headed for the hills and the safety of the thick forest bush of the foot hills surrounding the Zambezi river.

After a short water break we started the arduous trek back to the hunting trucks parked some 10 miles back. Of course trekking back to the truck is always faster than tracking away from it as you are now moving straight line and not carefully tracking an animal which makes ones pace much faster. As we plodded our way across broken hills and vleys in various cover from open to moderately thick we were enjoying the fresh cool air that was settling into the valley as the sun became lower on the horizon. Birds were calling and monkeys were having their afternoon conversation in the trees above us. The serenity was broken occasionally with sharp barking call of a baboon bull. I was very much enjoying the experience of trekking through some of the most wild country in Africa with a .470NE double rifle in my hands. A feeling of true freedom and sensory enlightenment with all of the sights, smells and sounds of the African bush coursing through my veins.

We negotiated a small ridge and upon breaking out on the backside were treated to a sight that will forever stick in my mind. As we emerged from the trees and brush we found ourselves standing on edge of an estimated 300 acre "vley" (grassy valley). This vley was as flat and open as a huge golf green. It was emerald green in color and covered with fresh grass and clover. Within the boundaries of the vley was a scene straight out of a Hollywood set. The wildlife grazing within the vley was simply astonishing. I'd be lying if I told you I could remember all of the different species of animals grazing there but it was quite a few in variety and number. I can distinctly remember seeing kudu, warthog, impala, zebra, a waterbuck, dik dik, a troop of baboons and in the distance a herd of 6 elephant all peacefully grazing and going about their business.

I was enchanted with the scene before me and was simply enjoying the moment, never wanting it to end, when from behind my trance was disturbed by some excited banter. My friend who with his girlfriend was accompanying me on the hunt had laid eyes upon a very respectable impala ram and was interested in harvesting him. We had discussed potting an impala earlier on the trek home as we needed the meat and my friend was keen on having the trophy. Shooting sticks were placed and my friend rested his .458 Lott on them and took aim at the ram. In the background I could faintly hear one of the PH's and a tracker discussing something in Shona. I couldn't understand the conversation but I heard the word "nzou" (elephant) mentioned several times. The PH was just getting ready to ask my buddy to not shoot when my buddy squeezed the trigger and the muzzle blast from his .458 Lott shattered the serenity of the afternoon. The impala ram bucked hard as the 500 grain Woodleigh solid took him perfectly through the chest, and the entire vley exploded with alarmed animals desperately dashing to the safety of the surrounding bush. I watched as the ram scramled off for about 100 yards before collapsing.
In the distance approximately 500 yards away the herd of elephant that had been peacefully browsing caught my eye. At the shot, they immediately bunched together into a tight V formation and with the matriarch in the lead started to come hard and fast in our direction. I figured at first that they were simply confused and would break off as soon as they realized where we were. My buddy and his girlfriend excitedly started to head towards his downed ram. In his concentration with the shot, he was unaware of the drama that was unfolding and rapidly coming our way. I stayed back and watched the elephant who were now closing at a disturbingly fast pace. The PH sprinted forward and caught my buddy by the shoulder pulling him back to the safety of the group. The elephant were now approximately 100 yards away and closing. I remember thinking that this was getting mildly serious, I slid the top lever on my double open, pulled the soft point bullet out of the right barrel flung it away, replaced it with a solid and slammed the action shut. I was now loaded with two solids just in case this turned into a gunnery exercise. It was about this time that the PH started to shout at the elephant and wave his rifle in the air, a standard procedure to let the elephant know where we were and that we were humans. 99% of the time elephant will veer off as soon as they hear your voice.

These old girls had a different idea of how they were going to handle these puny humans. Upon hearing the voice they immediately spread out into a loose abreast formation and accelerated their charge. This situation had just gone from interesting to, exciting! It was just at that moment that the PH in his cut tone and polite Rhodesian manner mentioned that we should RUN!! And RUN we did, I was holding back a bit to provide cover for my buddy who was taking up the rear of the group with his girlfriend. The matriarch now about 50 yards distant let out a shrill blasting trumpet. My buddies girlfriend immediately dove to the ground behind a small bush. Whether she acted from terror or clumsiness is unknown but once she hit the ground she froze in panic and found herself unable to move.
I skidded to a stop and immediately brought my double to my shoulder, snapped off the safety and placed the front bead comfortably in the shallow British rear v and placed it squarely on the rapidly growing, grey wrinkled forehead of the lead cow. To my right I heard our PH very calmly state "That won't do". He reversed course, made a beautifully athletic advance, with double rifle in one hand, grabbing the poor terrified girlfriend by the collar of her coat with his free hand, lifted her up to her feet with and quickly resumed sprinting, with her in tow towards the relative safety of the nearby trees. I wasted no time in following. The elephant , having proved their superiority brushed by at close range. trumpeted a victory blast and continued off into the bush nosily breaking branches and trumpeting as they went.
Everybody checked themselves and were unhurt if not a bit shaken. We regrouped and collected our impala ram, the liver was cut out and lightly blackened over a quick fire and we enjoyed the succulent meat which provided us the extra boost we needed for the last several hours of trekking to the truck. Our prized trophy now cut up and the load shared amongst the group. We reached base camp late that night an enjoyed fresh impala skillets and rejoiced in the happenings of the day. The story being told and retold with greater fervor as the night went on and the whiskey bottle perceptively emptied with each telling. There is no place on earth quite like the African bush. And there is nothing quite like a determined group of elephant cows to freshen the senses.
 
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Right after my swim suit cover shoot with Sports Afield.
 
300 acre "vley" (grassy valley).

Great story . . with one spelling correction only (from an Afrikaner :) )

Correct spelling for "Vley", is V.L.E.I.

And yes - those old matriarchs of the elephant herds are a law all unto themselves.
 
Great story . . with one spelling correction only (from an Afrikaner :) )

Correct spelling for "Vley", is V.L.E.I.

And yes - those old matriarchs of the elephant herds are a law all unto themselves.

Vlei!!

I'll make a note of it and "buy a donkey"!!;)
 
Yes, thx for sharing... An enjoyable read. You have a nice gift of writing to make readers feel they are there with you!
 
That was great. Hollywood and the telly tend to paint Africa as a vast savannah with one small misty mountain jungle and a nasty desert on top. Your short story had excellent greenery and I could practically see the topography and feel the recoil. Thanks!
 
Great job capturing the natural beauty of the environment, the thrill of the moment, and grace under pressure.
 
You DO have a handlebar mustache, right? If not, grow one immediately. Thanks for a great story - oddly enough, some greenie weenies wanted to introduce elephant down here in the American Southwest. I think that would have gone..."poorly"...
 
Well...that's a terror I could do without!

And I speaking as one who's been at test depth on a submarine when an explosion occurred followed immediately by a scream of "FLOODING!"

Nope...no charging elephants for me, thank you very much!

:)
 
Chief,

I'd take a herd of charging elephant in thick cover unarmed before I would volunteer for submarine service. The thought of being in a flooding sub is probably my worst nightmare.
 
You DO have a handlebar mustache, right? If not, grow one immediately.
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Thanks for a great story - oddly enough, some greenie weenies wanted to introduce elephant down here in the American Southwest. I think that would have gone..."poorly"...

poorly as in that other bright idea, "let's get some bunnies shipped here to Australia. What harm can that cause?"

And I speaking as one who's been at test depth on a submarine when an explosion occurred followed immediately by a scream of "FLOODING!"

Another product built by the lowest bidder (as in Allan Sheppard's comments) or a bid won because somebody knew somebody and could get away with overpricing and underbuilding? Not that ever happen in the military... right?
 
Chief,

I'd take a herd of charging elephant in thick cover unarmed before I would volunteer for submarine service. The thought of being in a flooding sub is probably my worst nightmare.

Hmmm, I'll stay with my grandfather's advice... Never mess with a critter meaner than you are and don't get into any vehicle you can't get out and push.

OK, I'll be good... any herd species is going to have an alpha that either keep threats at bay or die trying. I remember one patient that saw a poor helpless little calf abandoned by it's mother and decided to "nurture" it. He discovered to his sorrow that momma cow was in the brush raiding an apple tree. I remember another... gentleman that hit a deer and assuming he had killed it put it in the back seat of his car to take home to butcher out of the prying eyes of the public at large. I've often wondered what he told the insurance agent to explain how he was injured and the windows of his car kicked out from inside. The story of the banker that told a cattle farmer he would have to see his collateral before even considering a loan so the farmer herded the cows into the bank is unfit for polite company so I won't repeat it.
 
Another product built by the lowest bidder (as in Allan Sheppard's comments) or a bid won because somebody knew somebody and could get away with overpricing and underbuilding? Not that ever happen in the military... right?

Heh!

In this case, it was a defective pyro being launched from the forward signal ejector durinf a monitored training evolution. We didn't get the message about the defective pyros, so they were never removed from the ship.

The pyro blew in the 3 inch diameter signal ejector as it was passing through the tube between the pressure hull and the outer hull. The signal ejector is significantly thicker in that region because it's constantky expesed to the sea. It ruptured the tube and welded itself to theinterior of the tube. When we surfaced, we could see where the outer hull plating had buckled outward.

Had the pyro blown while still inside the pressure hull, it likely would have killed those doing the launch and seriously injured several people in berthing. It may not have caused any real flooding, though.

The guy who screamed "FLOODING!" did so because when the explosion happened he caught a face full of sea water squirted out of a small hole in the breach of the signal ejector. He made the right call, even though it was only a handful of water.

I was in Bow Lower Level berthing, right below where it happened at the time. I came out of my rack on all fours like Spiderman, poopie suit in hand and ready to go as the ship was taking a 20 degree up angle. We didn't do an emergency blow to the surface, but we boogied up there at a Full bell.
 
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