Critique my letter to the editor

[brufener]

In response to a letter to the editor calling for stricter gun laws, I have written the following. I plan to submit it tomorrow morning. Please give me any suggestions.

Gun regulations exacerbate tragedies

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Virginia Tech community, and to the families of the victims who were killed in this horrible tragedy.

As we struggle with this tragedy, we ask ourselves how this could happen. We ask what we can do to prevent such tragedies from happening again.

Some have argued that our gun laws are too lax. Never mind that Cho Seung-Hui had been declared mentally ill and dangerous by a court less than 18 months ago, triggering a federal law that bars him from purchasing a handgun. Never mind that both the federal and state background check systems were not updated, allowing him to slip through the cracks.

These same people claim that we need more laws so that we can feel safe. Never mind that almost every tragedy of this sort has occurred in a “gun-free” zone. Virginia Tech: gun-free zone, Trolley Square (Salt Lake City, Utah): gun-free zone, Amish school-house: gun-free zone, Columbine: gun-free zone. The list goes on and on. If “gun-free” zones are so safe, why do so many shootings occur in “gun-free” zones? Why are there never shootings at gun-shows, where thousands of guns are present?

The shooting in Trolley Square was stopped by an out-of-town cop who decided to ignore the “no guns” sign, and carry his gun in the mall. I wonder what would have happened if some of the victims at Virginia Tech had ignored the “no guns” policy when they went to school on Monday. Unfortunately, we will never know.

There will always be psychopaths who are intent on harming others in this world, and no law is going to stop someone intent on hurting others. What we can do is allow individuals to have the necessary tools to defend themselves when the next psychopath strikes.

 

[bogie]

1) Don't use big words - a newspaper isn't the place to demonstrate how educated you are. Use small ones, and more folks will read it.

2) Don't start slow. State your main theme in the first sentence - it may be all that gets read. Yeah, we know you care, but it's excess. There's a guy with a red pen and a well-worn delete key who's gonna get the thing - you've got one shot to make it past him.

3) Questions can be killers. Try not to be redundant too...

4) Never state your opponent's viewpoint first. You did.

Gun laws cause tragedies

As we struggle with what happened at VA Tech, we have to ask ourselves how this we can prevent such tragedies.

This has happened before, and almost always in a “gun-free” zone, where killers will readily bring in their weapons, but ordinary citizens (such as off-duty police officers) are forbidden to carry self-defense tools. The list has grown:

Virginia Tech: gun-free zone
Trolley Square (Salt Lake City, Utah): gun-free zone
Amish school-house: gun-free zone
Columbine: gun-free zone
The list goes on and on.

If these "safe" areas really worked, why then do so many shootings occur in “gun-free” zones? Criminals and killers use the zones as safe havens for their activities - safe for them, but deadly to their victims.

The shooting in Trolley Square was stopped by an out-of-town policeman who decided to ignore the “no guns” sign. What would have happened if even one of the victims at Virginia Tech had ignored the school's “no guns” policy?

Unfortunately, we will never know.

No "gun-free" zone or law is going to stop someone intent on hurting others. All we can do is allow people to have the mean to defend themselves.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Virginia Tech community, and to the families of the victims who were killed in this horrible tragedy.

 

[coelacanth]

Not bad. There are many ways nof approaching the question but I think you've done a pretty good job of summing up what many people think without getting too wordy or technical. ( tips cap to author )

 

[bogie]

Oh, and our esteemed mods have given us an "activism" section - might be the place to work on polishing message.

 

[brufener]

Thanks for the pointers. I am still figuring out how to effectively advocate our position, and appreciate tips from those who are more skilled.

I thought about posting it in the activism section, but wasn't sure that it would be appropriate for that area.

 

[bogie]

The techniques of activism are there... I think the post should be moved.

Remember - keep it concise, keep it FOCUSED, and keep it in their face.