Do I have a stalker? What would you do?

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dave3006

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To make a long story short, I left some negative feedback for an ebay transaction for a very rude seller that I purchased an item from.

He has sent me emails stating he will be in CA and he will be seeing me face to face to settle things. I have told him twice that I do not want contact with him. He says I called him a liar and he wants me to say it to his face.

What action should I take?

Note: I am very well trained in karate, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and I have a CCW. I am not scared. But, I do not want to use any of these things. Should I contact the police now to talk some sense into him? I want to be smart about this. I am not removing my negative feedback though. I refuse to be intimidated. He earned it.
 
First off you need to notify your local PD. Have printouts of the all emails and other correspondence, especially the ones containing threatening language. Document everything.

When is he planning on coming to face you? How far away is he? I assume that he has your address, since you said you bought an item of his. Have a video camera at the ready and up your situational awareness a notch. People like this can be very dangerous. The PD's assistance should help put your mind at ease.

Out of curiosity, what were the circumstances that made him so irate?
 
I am not removing my negative feedback though. I refuse to be intimidated. He earned it.
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Sounds like he is still earning it. If you can do an amendment to your feedback (i.e. if he posted a reply, you can reply again) tell of the physical threats. Report him to Ebay. Report him, with copies of the emails, to your local PD so if something happens: 1) you have record of the threats, 2) they may be watching for him, and 3) whatever else can be done, will be done.

As for him having your address, that is why I only use a PO box and my cell phone number (not my home number) now when I use Ebay. You never know what kind of nutcases you'll find, and you don't want them to have your personal information.
 
First off you need to notify your local PD. Have printouts of the all emails and other correspondence, especially the ones containing threatening language. Document everything.

When is he planning on coming to face you? How far away is he? I assume that he has your address, since you said you bought an item of his. Have a video camera at the ready and up your situational awareness a notch. People like this can be very dangerous.
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Ditto.

Plus -- I assume this person is in another state? That means his threats were made interstate, using interstate media of communication, and that brings in Federal jurisdiction. Report it to the FBI, immediately.
 
I would definitely edit the ebay rating to reflect his threatening reaction to negative feedback.

Just so others can beware.
 
He's probably just blowing off steam and talking out of his a$$. There's alot of people out there like that, especially when they're behind the relative safety of their computer screen.

It's funny because for all they know you could be a 350lb. 6' 8" linebacker with a bad attitude and bad breath. :D
 
Isn't it a federal crime to make threats across state lines?

Contact local PD ... then contact FBI ... then contact PD where he lives.


None of the 3 will do a damn thing, but if you have records that you contacted all of them if you do have to use some form of violence agaisnt him in self defense it will help your case should you have to go to court.

Whatever you do, don't tell him you are armed and/or a trained martial artist ... that could be seen as egging him on (I know me ... I'd be sorely tempted to say "Oh yeah?! Bring it on motha f*****!" ... but that would be extremely unwise).
 
Zundfolge, that is good advice. I have not made any "I'm tough, just try it" type statements. I do not want provoke him or to give him any clue to my capabilities.

Tomorrow, I will contact the police.
 
dave, not saying they will, don't know about the po-po out there, but don't let them blow you off. I would go in person, be very polite, give them copies of what you printed off and your contact info (you would be surprised how often I see complaints without addresses or telephone numbers--maybe you wouldn't).

Get a report number (e.g. 04-05xxx) and ask if this will be assigned to detectives or will an officer get it. Request that whichever way it is, that the copper call you, get his name (nah, don't need his badge #) so you can call back or he can call you.

As well, ensure that the coppers know that he is persona non grata at Casa de dave. If anything give the coppers another potential tripwire to arrest him for criminal trespass or similar.

In addition, may want to check into a protective order. Do not know the standard of evidence required to get one out there. It depends, maybe an attorney friend? Just a piece of paper, no doubt, but gives coppers another basis for arrest potentially. Or can you go to the Prosecuting (I think you call them District) Attorney for that? May want to call and see.

Best of luck, stay safe for us, I'm sure it's just someone venting.
 
For what it's worth, you might want to take the advice of Gavin DeBecker, stalking consultant, The Gift of Fear author and general anti-gun sort, who advises that the best thing you can do to defuse such a situation is to totally and completely fail to respond to any attention-getting actions that they attempt, because such types feed and focus on the continued attention.

Distilled, his advice runs, "Ignore them totally, (after duly informing the police) and they'll probably go away and find something else to focus on, but keep responding to them and they might just show up at your house with a gun."

Dex
firedevil_smiley.gif
 
send him an email saying that yes, you will call him a liar to his face and if he has anything to say he can tell it to the barrel of whatever gun you own.
 
My vote is to report it to your local police department, and especially to his police department. Who is this guy on Ebay? I'd like to avoid buying anything from him if possible. PM it to me if you don't want to put it in open thread.
 
If you ignore him he will soon get bored and leave you alone. If he doesnt then you will have to deal with him sooner or later and nothing you do now will prevent that. Just try to be as prepared as you can be (which is good way to be anyways).
 
It's probably some testosterone-laden 19 y.o. idiot. However...

Anyway, ditto the above mentioned need to contact the authorities. Contact your state and local police and the FBI. Not because they'll do anything immediately, but because your reporting of his threats, and providing the emails and other means of correspondence, if any, can become documented evidence in your favor should something bad happens and he forces you to put him down.
 
send him an email saying that yes, you will call him a liar to his face and if he has anything to say he can tell it to the barrel of whatever gun you own.
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Yup, if you're going to stoop to his level and threaten him, making it a mutual fault situation instead of one where you're in the right and he's the one in the wrong, make sure you do it in writing.
:banghead:
 
Dex says it well.

However, first, amend your feedback to include the threat. This guy brought it on himself and has to live with his actions.

Then, do contact the authorities, and then, just stay aware. I wouldn't lose any sleep, as the guy is probably talking out of his a$$, as previously mentioned.

Ceace and desist in any further communications with the moron. Keep all his emails. Keep all names and numbers of officers and agents you talk to, and then ignore him.

Nothing is going to happen.
 
Completely ignoring someone like this is probably the best course of action to start with. But there are some loony-tunes who will just keep going, and going. Also, if the cops were to call this character, even to just say "Knock it off", that might stir him up even more.

I would definitely file a report. Just to get the facts on record, so if this guy *does* show up, there's some kind of paper trail already in place. The "race to the courthouse" thing. And, believe me, they *do* show up sometimes... I had a guy I got into an Internet pissing match with a few years ago show up at my work. Even though someone called 911, it took the cops like 20 minutes to show up (and of course he was long gone by then). I could tell they were absolutely less then thrilled to be dealing with an Internet type of thing... :) But you want the facts on record. Other than that, just don't respond to him again, and 99.5% likely he'll go away.
 
I have sent a brief summary to the criminal investigative division via their website. I gave my contact information and the information of the potential stalker. I asked them to have the appropriate person contact me. It will be interesting to see if they do or how long it takes.
 
He could just being screwing with you, but at the chance he's not; contact your local P.D. and forward them the emails so they know what's going on (tell them the full story and let the emails back you up). Give them as much info as possible.... then make sure you have a topped off mag and keep it on you. Your safety from a lunatic is more important then some stupid leftest anti laws out there.
 
Ditto Dex Sinister: DO NOT RESPOND TO HIM! You've already told him to leave you alone, so there is no purpose to any further communication with him. Ignore all emails; hang up the phone immediately if he calls. Most likely, he'll just go away then--it's really, really hard to have an argument with someone who isn't responding.

If he shows up at your door, don't fool around--order him to leave, shut the door (with him outside), and call the police immediately. If he attacks you, do whatever you have to do to protect yourself.
 
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